NoWhere Boy:A John Lennon love story

Don't Bother Me

John stayed silent as he dried the dishes I had washed. He quietly placed the plates one by one in their respective cabinets. Once he was done he made his way to the stairwell, I followed not saying a word either. He trudged up the steps, turned on his heel and shoved his door open. I slowly closed his door and turned to find John with his face down on the bed. His back shook slightly and I knew that it was a time of him needing me.

I sat beside him and slowly rubbed his back. We sat like that for a long time. There was no need for words, only the knowledge that I was there for him and that he could let it all out. At some point he laid himself on my chest and we both put ourselves in a position comfortable enough to sleep in. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I stroked his hair as he sobbed some more.

George was a good man. I've known him since I was five years of age. Whenever I would sneak over he always knew and would bring John and I snacks. Never once did he rat us out, at least, never on purpose. He drank quiet a bit, John had mentioned he and George were drinking prior to the incident. Mimi claimed it was just a fall, turns out it was more than that, it was a heart attack. I don't believe he was that old, only around the age of 52.

John was sound asleep as I continued to stroke his hair. He is so precious when he sleeps, it seems as though all that Lennon confidence had left his body, leaving just this small broken boy. And that's what he is, a boy, we are kids dealing with a death. Something a kid should never have to deal with and understand.

Death should be at the back of our minds, peaking forward every once and a while when we hear of an older relative's passing. It shouldn't be in the same thought stream as a friend. Being in High School and losing a friend is something the mind can never put down, never let go of, and when you hold onto such a terrible sadness, it breaks you slowly. John is just a kid and though George seemed to be a father figure, he was more of his friend than anyone. John has to deal with this in his heart for a long time if not forever.

My heart felt heavy, I'm too mean sometimes. I try to match his confidence and seem like I'm in control when I'm not. I take on too many responsibilities for one kid and in turn I come out breathing fire. I will wait to tell John, but I won't be keeping it a secret any longer. He knows I'm going to show him and explain everything, but he shouldn't have to deal with that until after he gets through George. John comes first now, before everything him and Mimi come first.

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It was cloudy, raining on and off throughout the day, and the breeze would send a chill up through your body leaving a scattered array of goosebumps. I walked beside Mimi, her arm linked to John's as we approached the grave site. I had never been to a funeral before, John said he hadn't really either. Seeing everyone you know crying is something that really affects a person.

Some people spoke and it was hard to listen to, John did, he stuttered and he had a jumble of words strung together. He didn't know what to say, how do you know what to say? He came back towards us and Mimi kissed his shoulder as she made her way past him to the podium. It was her talking that really got to me.

"George," she spoke looking down at the casket, "you were family to so many people. You never failed to brighten our world with your smile, your laugh, and your whole being. I have loved you since the moment I saw you and I will continue to love you every day for the rest of my life. On our wedding day we danced and you held me and I knew you were what was right. That's how I know you are safe and okay," she put her hand on the casket, "because you once told me heaven was waiting for us. It must be true because you were always the thing that was right in this life. I'll be waiting to join you in the next life my love."

John squeezed my hand tight as I buried face in his shoulder. He slowly let go as Mimi led him to the casket. I wiped my tears away with my handkerchief as they threw dirt into the hole where the casket now laid. John came back by me and I noticed he was staring off. I followed his gaze and my heart stopped. I felt myself stop breathing as mum and I made direct eye contact.

She looked at me and I could see her chest begin to heave up and down. She was near a grave about two rows back, away from everyone else. She looked at John and then back to me, then to John once again. She readjusted her glasses and took a step forward.

No! I mouthed and she stopped in her tracks. Her thumbs fiddled and she turned and left without looking back. I turned back to John who was still staring at the place she once stood.

"Hey," I said holding his arm, "come on let's go, it's time to head back to yours, yeah?" He nodded as I pushed him along with the rest of the group.

A lot of people came round to the house afterwards. I helped Mimi clean up that morning and I told her I'd take care of the food and John said he would take care of the drinks. Johns job was easier since he just stocked the fridge with some alcohol and pop. He was currently seated in the tree house that sat in the back yard talking to Stan. I was bringing out some fruit I had just cubed when Stan walked in to ask Mimi something.

"John wants to know where Aunt Julia is." The room fell silent as all eyes landed on Mimi, her's on me. Stan turned and saw me and quickly cleared his throat and looked down at his feet.

"She was busy, had things to do. She couldn't make it today." Mimi dismissed him. I didn't look at him as he passed, I kept my eyes fixed on the dark haired woman. She got up and motioned me to follow.

"You are not to tell him." She whispered once we got to the kitchen. She didn't sound demanding or angry, she sounded almost scared.

"Mimi, he needs to know soon, he is old enough. Not now, he needs time to adjust and deal with this before he dives into anything like that."

"No, he can't. Knowing will drive him away and" she paused to clear her throat. "I can't lose him too."

I bit my lip and crossed my arms. "Okay, I won't say a word about it." I began to rub my temples and sighed. "I just don't think this is right anymore."

Mimi patted my shoulder and went back to the guest. I looked out the window to see where John was. Stan was still talking to him but he wasn't paying attention.

He was staring directly in the kitchen window, he was staring directly at me.