s.t.a.y. | ethma

13

A/N: song of the chapter: Come Back Home by Lauv
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Ethan

It was Monday, and I was missing Emma more than ever.

I felt like I was grieving for her.

It's been three weeks since she disappeared. Three weeks since my heart vanished.

I was angry at this point. Not at Emma. Just at the facts.

If she's somewhere out there completely fine, then why haven't they found her yet? More importantly how haven't I found her?

She's my fucking soulmate. The love of my life, and I can't even figure out where the fuck she went.

I was angry at myself. Angry at not preventing her from leaving town.

I did what I do best to keep my mind off of things. I went downstairs and turned the radio up pretty loud before I put my boxing gloves on and beat the living hell out of the punching bag.

I was taking out my feelings on it. All of the hatred I felt against the girls at school who have cried about Emma when they barely even knew her when she was here.

Against all of the people that are trying to make themselves relevant to the situation just to seem cool.

That pissed me off.

I didn't realize I had been pummeling the punching bag for three hours until Grayson came downstairs.

"Dude, you good?" He asked. I took a sip from my water bottle.

"I'm fine, bro."

"You've been down here for three hours, E."

"So?"

"Aren't you gonna at least take a break?"

I shrugged, putting my water down and putting my gloves back on. "Nah."

I started hitting the punching bag as hard as I could, still clearly letting my anger out.

Grayson walked closer. "Dude, chill. What's going on?"

I started punching it faster.

"Ethan! Chill, dude. Take a break, bro."

And that's when I lost it.

I took off the gloves, chucking them across the room, and I broke down crying. I've never been this depressed in my entire life.

"Ethan, sit down. Calm down. It's okay." Grayson said, making me sit on the bench that goes with our bench press.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing, and Grayson forced me to drink water before he sat down next to me.

"What's going on, E?" He asked in a soft voice. Grayson can calm me down at the same level Emma can sometimes.

I took a deep breath, another tear streaming down my face. "I just miss her so fucking much. And I'm so sick of the news reporters and of the people that barely even knew her crying at school all of the time, and I just want her home. I'm sick of some people acting like the situation is hopeless because it shaves off a little piece of hope every time I hear it and I just want her back here and in my arms. It's so fucking frustrating. She's the love of my fucking life. I miss her. And I know she's out there somewhere, and I'm just so angry at myself because I thought I'd know her well enough to find out where she is by now."

"Ethan, you can't blame yourself for Emma not being found yet. They're gonna find her. I know someone will. We can't lose hope. She's out there. I fucking know she's out there. She's probably having a great time wherever she is. Maybe smoking a little too much weed, but she's okay."

I laughed at Grayson's last statement. "She did start smoking a lot, didn't she? Damn. I never thought she'd grow up to be a stoner."

Grayson laughed. "Me neither. But think about the type of music she listens to sometimes. It kind of makes sense."

"From experience, she's kind of a wild girl." I said. "I always thought that if she ran off that she'd take me with her." I said. "Shit. I need her to come back so badly."

"I really miss her too." Grayson said. "I could go to her to talk about anything and she always listened."

"I know. That's why I was so surprised when she started getting emotionally unavailable last year. God, when we find her I'm gonna kiss the hell out of her."

"And we're back to the gross PDA of Emma and Ethan." Grayson said.

"Hey, it's not gross. It's hot." I responded.

Grayson laughed. "Sure. You guys sticking your tongues down each other's throats is an impeccable sight to see."

"Shut up, Gray. You could always you know, leave us alone when her and I are doing that."

"You guys do that all the time, am I just not supposed to ever hang out with you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Depends on the day."

"She's gonna come back. She has to."

"She better."

"Remember how she never shut up during movies?"

I laughed. "What are you talking about? She always shut up while watching movies with me." I said.

Grayson scoffed. "Yeah because you were probably making out with her the whole time, you animal."

"I took her to a midnight disney movie on a Wednesday once, and she didn't want to do anything besides make out with me even though nobody else was there. Yet she let me fuck her in a public hot tub the first time we ever hooked up."

"Geez. You two really are crazy for each other."

"I loved her from the second I saw her for the first time, Gray. I didn't know it yet, but I loved her. And I never stopped. Even when she broke my heart. And then she broke it again. Even when she left. I never stopped loving her, and I don't think I ever will stop. I can't. She's the person I think about the second I wake up, until the minute I fall asleep. Not to mention that I dream about her a lot. I think about what our future could be like. Moving in together. Getting married. Maybe even having a family. I never even thought about having kids until I realized that Emma and I were perfect for each other. She's the only person I can see myself going through life with like that. She's my soulmate. My person. So, I can't give up on her. Not now. She needs me. I'm gonna do my best to figure out where the fuck she is, and I'm gonna bring my girl home."

Grayson nodded. "We're gonna get her home."

I believe it.

We're gonna find her. She's out there, and she's gonna come back to me.

I'm gonna have her in my arms again. And this time, she's not getting out of my grip.