𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 - 𝙜𝙚𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙪𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨

secrets

what. the. fuck.

HOW DID I NOT REALISE OH MY FUCKING GOD.

i'm so fucking dumb.

THE EYES DYLAN THE FUCKING EYES THEY ARE ONE OF A KIND WHY DIDN'T YOU NOTICE.

"wait... your memeulous aren't you?" no way this is too much of a coincidence.

"yeah?" he replies with a confused look painted on his face. "no way you know who i am"

"george you have over 4 million subscribers of course i know who you are" fuck me.

george is memeulous. and i'm a fucking idiot.

we joke about the situation and he tells me more about his job and how his friends are all youtubers too. he also takes the piss out of me for not recognising him.

well i didn't think someone who made moviestarplanet and reddit videos would be that attractive tbf. and so nice.

"so whats it like?" i ask george, i register his confusion and elaborate. "being famous? having a lot of people watch your stuff? hiding your face from the internet?"

george chuckles "normally people just ask how much money i make"

"well its not every day you meet someone with 4 million subscribers is it? i want the juicy stuff." i joke.

i don't think george talks about this with a lot of people, and i could tell he needed to get some things off his chest. so i let him talk. he talked about the stress and anxiety youtube put on him when he started to gain a lot of views on his content. he also talks about the anxiety he gets from hiding his face, and how he's terrified to leave the house by himself or with his friends incase his identity gets leaked. i mean fair enough. with 4 million people watching me i'd be scared as fuck.

damn, who knew being a youtuber was so mentally exhausting. i'm really glad george opened up to me though, it means a lot to me that he knows he can trust me. but also scares me so fucking much. i've never felt like i can properly talk to people and express how i'm feeling, and i've never felt like they'd actually care.

but george is so different.

or is he just making me think that so he can lure me in, play with my feelings and make me wanna die?

he finishes talking and i can see a look of regret sink into his face. "i've overshared haven't i?" he awkwardly scratches his cheek and looks away.

i want to fucking hug him so bad.

but i can't. i'm not ready to do that yet. instead i try and talk. i'm not the best at comforting people but i can try.

"hey, of course you haven't. i hadn't even considered the stress behind a youtube channel. but i know that you make a lot of peoples day when you upload. i know for a fact i enjoyed your latest video" i say giving him a smirk.

"you watch my videos?" he stutters, flushing red.

i get up and head to the kitchen, giggling at his embarrassment. he follows me, shutting the balcony door behind him.

"we should probably get back to the others" i say, trying to dodge the question, and also embarrassed at how much i want to like george. but i can't, not yet.

"that's if they haven't passed out already, and don't try and change the subject"

"shut up" i tease.