𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 - 𝙜𝙚𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙪𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨

drugs

as i walk through the busy streets of london my heart pounds in my chest. my phone pings, he wants me to bank transfer him the money now.

fuck i hope he doesn't hate me.

he sends me his details and i transfer more than i wanted to pay for them but it's fucking london isn't it.

he confirms the payment and i start approaching the meet up spot. i wipe my sweaty palms on the inside of my sweater and take a deep breath in.

i'm trying not to think about the fact i'm falling back into old habits again.

it's just once dylan shut the fuck up pussy bitch.

i see him and he sees me, i start walking up to him and he ends the call he's currently taking and smiles torwards my direction.

"damn girl i never thought i'd see you again" he says laughing, opening his arms for a hug.

"yeah i'm sorry for disappearing on you last time" i reply, launching myself into his chest.

the smell of cigarettes and cheap lynx africa enter my body, it kinda takes me back to when we were teenagers.

"i don't blame you, that shit was tough, i'm sorry i couldn't do more to help" he says, slipping a small clear bag into my sweater pocket.

"well you're helping now by selling me these let me tell you that" i chuckle.

i loved jay, he was so easy to talk to and a fucking laugh to be around. he was one of my only friends when i lived around here before. and he came with some drug related benefits too ;)

"if you ever need anything, i got your back you know that right synth?"

my heart stopped.

"no ones called me synth since..." i trail off and fidget with my fingers until he replies.

"shit i'm sorry, what's the new name girl?" he apologetically asks.

"no don't worry it's cool, uh i go by dylan now" i look over at the guilty expression on his face.

he may be a drug dealer, but he's a hella good guy. and he's so sweet. he's literally like a brother to me. we even sometimes call each other sister and brother.

of course he'll never replace my brother. no one compares to him. but jay was all i had back then.

"ay dylan i like that, call me if you need anything sis" he starts backing away from the alley and turns on his heels to walk away.

me and jay have been through so much together it's so hard to believe we're both still here.

honestly if he ever left me i wouldn't know what to do.

even though i left him and he seemed fine.

i start the short walk back to my apartment, keeping my hand in my pocket and on the goods at all times.

i think about the name he called me. my biological name is synthia and now every time i hear it i feel sick. there's way too much hurt behind that name.

as i arrive at my apartment i see alex leaving his. this is gonna go great.

"hey dylan" he locks his apartment door and shoved the keys in his pocket "you okay?" he asks.

"yeah thanks" i say, trying to smile at a man who i know is gonna lie to my face for fuck knows how long.

"how's the headache? you drank a lot last night" he asks.

yeah apparently i drank so much now there's a little secret being kept.

"alright actually" i reply. well this isn't awkward at all.

we stare at each other in silence for a bit before i decide to shoot my shot at trying to find out what happened.

"i didn't like... say or do anything werid last night did i?" i ask. if he fucking lies to me so help him i swear to fuck.

"oh uh i don't think so, you were just very drunk" he replies, his eyes not meeting mine.

he's lying.

"well i'm gonna go um, george is in there if you want to talk to him" alex points back to his apartment door awkwardly.

"okay" i say, and turn around to unlock my own apartment door.

talking to george is the last thing i want to do right now.

seriously what the fuck did i do last night?

i step inside my apartment and grab the clear bag from my pocket, inspecting the ten little white pills inside. should keep me going for a week. just a little booster.

this is really how it's gonna be huh?

i take one out and place it between my lips with hesitation.

pussy.

i open my lips and swallow the pill.