The savior Saida

Chapter 11 : The past

Sana POV :

I once again wake up from a nightmare. The same one that's eating me alive ....

The nightmare : no one's POV

It was the last step of her coming of age party... She had gone through combat, beatings, being forced to drink alcohol ... The worst of that night was yet to come for the 15 year old Sana.

She could barely walk straight. When they brought her to a room of the hangar the "party" had been taking place in.

In the middle. Tied up. A man.

"You know what to do child" her father said. His ice cold hand on her bare shoulder.

A table was on the side. On that table. A gun.

She approached it, took it and went behind the man.

"No" her father went behind her grabbed her by the shoulders and placed her in front of the man. He lifted the arm with which Sana was holding the gun and put it to the man's head. "You will not tremble. You will look him in the eyes as you pull the trigger."

He was pleading for his life. Crying, yelling, begging for her not to take the step. He was talking about his wife, his children.

Sana's hands were shaking. More than a leaf does when a gust of wind pushes through it.

"Kill him" you couldn't perceive a hint of emotion in sajangnim's voice. He was like a robot. But worse. Robots don't have the capacity to feel remorse. Robots are not cunning. Robots do not kill for pleasure ...

He dialed a number, put the phone on speaker and approached his daughter. "Make her scream" he said. A woman's scream came through merely seconds after. But it wasn't just any woman... "you have 5 seconds to kill him or your mother dies". There it was. The most precious person in Sana's eyes was being threatened once again ... it was her mother's life or that man's.

That night.

Sana killed her first man.

That night.

Sana lost her mother.

"She was your weakness" Sajangnim said "you must be able to kill without reason, that is who we are."

Sana was sweating badly when she woke up from the nightmare. She rushed to the bathroom and threw up. Obviously the alcohol did not help her case in remaining calm.

She then proceeded to do her ritual after having such a vivid nightmare. She stares at herself in the mirror and elbows her right side as hard as she can. Again. And again.

"You feel pain" she tells her reflection "you are not a robot" she winces "he did not take that away from you, you can still feel"

She then calms her breathing and recites what her mother had taught her. She had told her one day

"your father will want to take everything from you my babygirl. Give it to him. Do not resist it would just add pain to the process. But keep one thing to yourself my love. I will teach you this. Place all of your emotions in it. Burry it somewhere he can't reach. That is how you'll remain out of his deadly grasp."

"Aiko and Hiro Ishida, my grandparents. Chihiro and Hayao Ishida, my aunt and uncle.  Sachi Ishida, mum..."

Sana POV :

I can't do this anymore. I can't handle the pain. I look at my reflection. Pathetic. Here I am crying over something that happened nearly 10 years ago. Grow up Sana, what a crybaby. Look at yourself. Disgusting. I have to stop crying. I force myself. I can do it. I can stop crying. I can move on from this. I finally manage to make my tears stop when someone knocks on the door. "Are you okay ?"