The savior Saida

Chapter 29 : An idol

Dahyun's POV :

"Cheer up baby

Cheer up baby..." I sung the chorus.

How hypocrite can one be?

I could not be more thankful for our wonderful debut. We were welcomed with the most supportive, loving, understanding fans.

Fans that just wanted to know us, the real Twice. The girls behind the fancy dresses and the shiny jewelry. The girls behind the cute songs and energetic choreographies.

Now it's our first comeback with this song saying everything is going to be alright...

And here I am.

Bawling my eyes out every night.

Dreaming about her.

Day dreaming about her.

On the verge of tears every single time I perform.

What a fucking hypocrite.

Then that day came.

My birthday.

That day I received the first letter.

My dearest Dahyunie,

I don't know where to start...

I don't know if I should apologize first, if I should wish you a happy birthday, or if I should congratulate you for the success you've been getting... but here goes...

I'm so proud of you.

Despite all that has happened you've managed to remain yourself.

You're 23 today and you're still the most perfect person in my eyes. It hasn't changed nor will it ever.

It is a relief to see you like that. It lifts the smallest weight off of my packed shoulders.

I put that weight on my self, I am aware. I cannot begin to explain why... it would just be to painful and complicated.

I hope you are well. I mean it...

I hope you are okay, I hope you are at piece and happy.

If you aren't, and if it's because of me I only have one thing to say...

Please be happy my love.

Please enjoy life, see it as it is. Talk to your fans, to your friends, to your family.

Lean on them as you've done so with me.

Don't believe it was a mistake to trust me I beg of you... it's easy to say, hard to comprehend and impossible to believe I know.

But please do try...

I've never left your side even though that may seem false to this day.

I love you dearly my Dahyun, I always will.

-SM

I tore it apart.

I tore it a part in a million pieces, just as my heart was torn in a million pieces.

Then a month later I received another one.

Then another one.

And another.

It never stopped. Every month, I received another letter.

I kept it a secret. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I didn't want the girls to prevent me from reading them. Because to tell the truth.... I was looking forward to those letters.

They proved to me that she was still mine. That those last words she told me weren't a lie.

I tried to convince myself that it was. That she was just a liar. That she didn't mean it. That she had said that to make me hate her more.

Every month I thought it would be the last letter from her.

But they just kept coming.

Never a day late.

And those stupid fucking letters, that I receive one by one keep me from moving on... because deep down I have the foolish hope that she hasn't either.

Two years later I still get them.

Two years later I still dream of you.

Two years later I still believe in us, in what we had, that it was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me.

Two years later I'm still waiting for you.

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up before it kills me.

Sana, I really fucking hate you. I fucking hate the fact that two years after you've left me I'm still in love with you.

Sana, I don't ever want to see your face again.

Sana, I've died a hundred times and more because of you.

Sana, I can't live life at its fullest because life without you isn't full.

Sana, the damn name that can't leave my fucking mind. It's tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, it's the subject of my dreams, it's the melody of my life, it's the song of my soul.

It's me.

That name, is me because without you, I'm no longer myself. You've made me who I am today and without you how can I still exist?

So I keep you close to my broken heart.

I force you to stay with me as I silently call your name so I can live some sort of life.

Sana.

Sana.

Sana.

Sana.

Sana...

Sana, I just miss you so much...

✨ Author comments ✨

Sooo as predicted this is a short chapter but it's just a transition chapter so please don't be mad, I should update soon enough so that you guys don't have to wait too long!  Promise!

Thanks for reading my story I really appreciate it!

Don't forget to comment and vote aaaand to correct me on any mistakes I may have made.

Covid is real bad in France, so we're on lockdown again. I hope that'll give me the opportunity to write more often, but school is hard asf... I promise I'll try my best to update as much as I can though!

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Byyyeee