Irhaboggle Pride (2020) Quarantine Edition

Stimulus Check

"Imma blow my entire stimulus check on a crap-ton of Pride flags and meme stuff!" Quincy joked.

"That is honestly the most in-character thing I've ever heard you say," Mallory snorted back.

"Oh what? Like you were gonna spend yours on anything better?" Quincy teased.

"Perhaps not," Mallory admitted. "But anything would be better than your idea. I was just going to save mine for a better occasion."

"Hey! It's for a good cause!" Quincy argued playfully. "It's Pride Month, what better way to celebrate than buying too much Pride gear? Besides, just saving it is boring! And literally, the whole point of a stimulus check is to spend it!"

"First off, how much more Pride merch do you need? Second off, where are you gonna put all of it? Your room isn't that big!" Mallory countered. Even though she hadn't been in Quincy's room (unless one counted their video calls, like now, where she could see parts of his room) since before quarantine, she still knew how small and cluttered it was.

"First off, some of it would've gone to friends unable to buy their own," Quincy replied. "Second off, I'd make it work somehow! Besides, you can never have too much gay stuff! I kinda want to buy a custom flag that has the outline of an archer on it that says Aro-Ace, and of course the background would be like a mashup of the asexual, aromantic flag. I think that would be cool!"

"Ugh, of course you would," Mallory rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop a smile. Quincy was a good dude behind his clownish self. He was a huge supporter of everyone, and never hesitated to be that funny, cool, supportive big bro who threw love, affection, time, effort and money at everyone.

"So you're gonna be a flag dealer?" Emma finally piped up, tickled by the idea.

"Heck yeah!" Quincy agreed. "I'm gonna mail all these babies out this Pride month! All custom-made too. Anyone want anything?"

"You haven't even commissioned any yet," Mallory interrupted.

"Ok, fair enough, I don't have a list in mind yet, but the way I see it, if we can't go to Pride, we're bringing Pride to ourselves!" Quincy replied. "I'm like a gay fairy godmother. Or a gay Santa. I just give everyone gay gifts. The gay sugar daddy."

"Oh my god," Mallory sighed, but she was only just barely able to choke back her laughter. Emma, meanwhile, wasn't even trying, snickering helplessly at the mental image of Quincy dressed up like a fairy (or Santa) and just flying over the town and dropping gay gift baskets down to everyone. They had no doubt that if such a thing were possible, he'd 100% do it.

"Oh, the modern miracle of online shopping," Emma laughed, shaking her head fondly. She had received her own stimulus check just a few days before Quincy. Already, some of it had gone to little trinkets, art supplies and books, but she was trying to be careful so that she could make it last. It was only about $1200 anyway. Granted, that was a lot of free money, but in the grand scheme of things, it would run out fast. So even though Emma had already indulged a little, she was trying to reign in now before she went too crazy.

Quincy, Emma and Mallory (who had not yet received her check, but knew it was coming) were lucky. Unlike some, they were able to use their checks for fun. But some of their friends had it harder and were going to need the check to pay bills or debts. Of course, again, $1200 wouldn't be enough to totally get them out of the hole, but it was still a nice boost up. The only one not happy about the stimulus check was Princeton.

"Because I'm not getting one!" he pouted like a child, arms crossed and lower lip pushed out a little. "Because I still live with my parents and am on their tax forms, or whatever, they're passing me by!"

"Big oof, man," Quincy muttered sympathetically. Mallory and Emma agreed, albeit with more eloquence.

"That's definitely rough," Emma said. "I'm sorry that happened to you. If you want, I can share a bit of mine."

"Yeah, sometimes the government sucks and life hates you," Mallory said. "Of course the one year this happens, you're still someone's dependent!"

"Don't remind me," Princeton grumbled with a bitter sigh. He was already a young adult and could've, hypothetically, moved out already, but he had decided to stay back and live with his parents for a few more years. Now look what that had gotten him.

"Bet you regret living with your parents now, huh?" Quincy asked, trying to joke a little.

"Just a bit," Princeton sighed ruefully. He hated to say it, but it was true. Of course he adored his family, but this was one of those scenarios where if he had known it was coming, he would've moved out quicker. "And Emma, I'll be fine. I can't ask you to give up your check like that," he added.

"I mean, I don't need it either," Emma replied. "I may not be a dependent, but I might as well be, because my family is still supporting me, even if it isn't on some official form or whatever. Besides, even if $1200 isn't much in the grand scheme of things, I could still float you a couple hundred and it wouldn't be like some huge loss."

"Yeah, and I can donate some too," Mallory agreed next.

"And me," Quincy finished.

"Awwwww, you guys..." Princeton began to blush. "That really means a lot to me..."

"I mean hey, the best we could do is for each of us to give you $300. That would give us all $900. Granted, that means the three of us lose $300 each, but once you add up the total count, that still leaves all four of us at almost $1000!" Emma cried excitedly.

"But you don't have to-" Princeton began shyly.

"And if you don't feel ok accepting $300 per person, even if we just give $100 each, that still leaves you with a fat check!" Quincy interrupted.

"Besides, to quote Quincy, it's for a good cause," Mallory agreed seriously. "We'd be happy to start you a GoFundMe."

By now, Princeton could feel his eyes pricking with tears, but he managed to keep his voice even as he politely declined.

"Really, it means the world to me that you guys were so quick to be so kind. I know I'm the luckiest guy alive to have friends like you! But it's all good. I'd rather you all keep your own money. I'm just mad at fate making it so that I was passed by. It's not that I need the money, it's just, you know, we all feel bad when we miss out on something good."

"Fair enough," Mallory agreed. "But if you ever want a few bucks, text me and I'll Venmo or PayPal you some."

"Thanks Mallory, you're the best," Princeton sighed, a surge of love for his three friends filling his heart.

"And at least let me send you a nice trans flag for something!" Quincy agreed.

"As if I don't already have a million of those!" Princeton laughed despite himself.

"But this one will be something unique I design. It will be the only one of its type in the entire world!" Quincy replied.

"I don't know where to be flattered or terrified, knowing you," Princeton teased.

"Both," Quincy replied without missing a beat.

"And I would like to contribute to this Pride Package idea too!" Emma chimed in.

"And I guess I have to too," Mallory pretended to sigh reluctantly. "Can't be left out and seem like a Scrooge, can I?"

"Guys, it's really not necessary," Princeton laughed, shaking his head.

"Too late!" Emma and Quincy replied. "Like we said, we're gonna celebrate this year right and put this money to good use. What better way to do that than spoiling our friends and supporting the community all the while? Two birds, one stone! Happy Pride!"

"Fair enough," Princeton laughed. It was a crazy, silly idea, but it had its merits, and it didn't seem like his friends were going to stop their antics any time soon. Oh well, if you can't beat em, join em!

AN: I'm totally not bitter about being the only one of my friend group to not get a stimulus check. Nope. Not me. I'm fine. I'm all good.

(Actually, I really am fine, but I thought it would be fun to poke fun at myself anyway, LOL)