peter parker imagines & oneshots!

| 8 letters •°.

warning(s): angst, cryinG, sad y/n, petermj <3

inspired by 8 Letters by Why Don't We <3

[lowercase intended, unedited]

their laughter, their smiles, the look of love in ther eyes.

all of it. it hurts.

its been a few weeks since peter and mj started dating, and yes you were happy for your two bestfriends, but it just hurts.

the way mj quickly warmed up to peter, and him falling hopelessly in love with her, its all too much.

the way he looks at her, and how happy she gets whenever she's with him.

your heart ached as you sat in the cafeteria, mj's head on peter's shoulder as they laugh on jokes together. ned was joining in aswell, happy seeing his two bestfriends inlove.

you put on your headphones, and put your playlist on shuffle.

8 letters comes on, and the lyrics rings on your ears as you tried your hardest not to let a few tears slip.

you know me the best, you know my worst
see me hurt, but you dont judge.
that right there is the scariest feeling.

your leaned your forhead on the table, hiding your face

open and closing up again
ive been hurt, so i dont judge
now here we are staring at the ceiling

you thought about how he was the first person you let in, telling him everything about you and him gladly accepting.

ive said those words before, but it was a lie.
and you deserve to hear it a thousand times

yes, you've said 'i love you' before, especially to him. but, for peter, it was just a friendly one. you tried your best to think if it like that, but you know those 8 letters meant so much more to you.

if all it is is 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?
if all it is is 8 letters why am i in my own way?
why do i pull you close and then ask you for space?
if all it is is 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?

"hey, hey, y/n? you okay?" ned shaked you, seeing your forehead against the table.

you looked up, seeing the three of them with concerned looks on their faces. "yeah, yeah, i'm fi-"

then, you got cut off by the bell ringing.

you immediately grabbed your bag and ran out the cafeteria, ignoring the sounds on them calling your name.

when i close my eyes,
its you there in my mind.
when i close my eyes,

you four had a tradition to always walk together in between classes, but today, you cant take it anymore.

your eyes started filling up with tears as you ran to the bathroom instead of the classroom.

you closed the stall and slowly slid down the wall, tears flowing out your eyes.

its amazing how one song can explain your feelings better than you can.
amazing, isnt it?

"i'm so stupid." you mumbled, as you ran your hand through your hair and cried. "why am i doing this to myself."

-

you layed down at your bed, staring at the ceiling.

you somehow managed to avoid ned, mj, and peter the rest of the day.

you then silently let your tears flow out, as the song's lyrics replayed in your head.

if all it is is 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?
if all it is is 8 letters why am i in my own way?
why do i pull you close and then ask you for space?
if all it is is 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?

you sat up, gripping your hair tightly as you silently sobbed in your room.

not until, you heard a tap on your window. you turned, and saw a familiar blue and red figure.

you quickly hid your face and wiped your tears away, fixing yourself. then you opened the window and let him in.

"why'd you come? dont you have maybe like a date with mj?" you asked, trying not to sound too bitter. except, your voice sounded broken. which made him pull off his mask and look at you with an overwhelming amount of worry in his eyes.

"are you okay? is something wrong?" he asked softly, you shook your head. "i'm fine. nothing's wrong"

"you were crying earlier.."

"it's nothing."

"no you arent. whats going on?"

"i told you, i'm fine.

"c'mon, y/n/n. whats wrong?"

you clenched your fists, as the words suddenly poured out without your control.

"what's wrong, is that i love you! seeing how happy you are with mj, seeing how you look so inlove with her, seeing everything, hurts so much, okay?! i cant get myself to say it again, but i love you! so much! so much, that it hurts! now does that answer your question?!" you spit, every word tasting like venom in your mouth.

at this point, tears were flowing on your eyes and you were shaking.

he just looked at you, not knowing what to say.

you could read his thoughts even without him saying it.

"i-its fine. i-im-im sorry. just go. bye peter." you said brokenly, as he slowly pulled on his mask and jumped out the window.

"now i know why it was so hard to say those 8 letters."