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52 (finale)

Bonnie.

"Bonnie.." my moms soft voice spoke as she lightly lifted the covers off me. I caught a glimpse of the sunlight and quickly slammed my pillow on top of my head.

"Bonnie baby I know, but you need to get up." She says, trying for my pillow. I fight her for it but she wins throwing it  towards the end of my bed.

"You've missed too much school, to the point where they don't know if you'll graduate.. don't you want to walk across the stage?"

"Why? Tjays  not there."

"Baby."

"I can't do it mom, I can't walk in that school. I can't walk in the very place I met him. Can't we just do online or something?"

"While that is a good idea, I think it's better for you to go. You have friends waiting for you."

"Mom. I. Can't. Do. It."

"oh baby, I cant even lie and say I know what your experiencing, to lose your soulmate- oh how awful,  but I can tell you if you take this step today and get up it'll start getting better. And it's not like your alone. You have me and Alex and your friends and even your father." She offers me a warm smile as she pats my back.

"Mommy, please don't make me go." I heard my voice crack indicating I was about to lose it again. Sooner than later I felt the tears strolling down.

I can't do it, I'm so tired of waking up and not having him here anymore. I wasn't built for this I'm not strong enough to live in a world without him. I need him.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry for pushing." She gets up.

"No it's.. I wanna graduate but I just can't go there.. can you please call for online or something?" I reason with her.

"Of course bon, but I want you to get up today.. take a walk or something. And turn your phone back on, I know your grieving but other people are too, and they probably need you." With that she leaves out the room.

I stare at my phone that's been laying in the nightstand for weeks without being touched. After the funeral, I was so tired of the 'I'm sorry' calls and texts, I just turned my phone off. But hearing my mom now makes me think I was being a little selfish.

As soon as it turned in fully the text and reminders began to pop up. Some from the group and some from neek and Chris, but the one that struck me was the one voicemail from tjays mom. Everyone else at least left 20+ messages for me and she only left one.
I clicked on it and awaited her voice.

Bonnie.
We didn't get much chance to speak at the funeral and that's okay. We were both hurting in different ways. I just called to say your speech was beautiful. You depicted tjay in the way I've always seen him, and it's completely different to how the public eye sees him. Hearing you speak about you two's love reminded me a lot of me and his father, who I oh so wish you could've met.
You see.. tjays father was taken from me the same way Tione was took from you. And I was pregnant with tjay the day he died, just like you are. I know your pain like nobody else's and I get that you maybe want to grieve by yourself and I take no offense to that, but if you do need someone to talk to.. who understands your pain. Please don't hesitate to give me a call.

Lastly I want to say thank you. Thank you for giving my boy something to live for other than the streets. Thank you for loving every flaw of him, and showing him a kindness and love like no other. You twos love was truly beautiful and epic.  Thank you for giving me my future grandchild. Thank you for just being you Bonnie. I love you like a daughter and just because he is gone doesn't mean we can't keep in touch. I love you soo much Bonnie.
Take care.