You Can't Hate Me Forever! (Anti x Schneep)

Drowning In Your Tears

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Thoughts, Drowning, Light Cutting and Mention of Cutting. The cutting is not too bold but I just wanted to warn you since it's a sensitive topic. I'll add some help sites at the end too... There is also a cliffhanger 😳.

Anti's pov.

I tear off the Band-Aids Schneep put on me with angry, melancholy tears in my eyes and step into the tub. The water beats onto my bruised skin as I force close the galaxy curtain and sink to the floor. I hold my stomach roughly, causing the large now-forming bruise to ache and hold a hand over my puffy eyes. I cough violently, making blood to splatter out and dribble down my quivering jaw. If this was any other story, I'm sure flowers would emerge from my mouth and neck. My head tilts up towards the water, allowing it to run down my shadowed figure, warming it up. I let out a quiet whimper, which sounds supersonic compared to the rest of the bathroom and the pattering of the water.

I curl up on the white bath floor in pain and silently cry. I feel cold, not just because of the air, but because of the others. I hate them! I FUCKING HATE THEM! I didn't even do anything wrong, but that never mattered did it? Everyone always assumes the worst of me because I USED to be the bad guy. It's not fair! Why do they get to be a big happy family while I'm left to die? And they just let him beat me! They get angry when I try to fight to PROTECT MYSELF, but Jackie can just use me as a punching bag whenever he wants for no reason? And no one even tried to defend me! THEY SAW WHAT HAPPENED AND DID NOTHING! Maybe I should just jump off the cliff with a hair full of flowers, and then we'll see if they care!

ᵃᵗ ˡᵉᵃˢᵗ ᵐʸ ᶜᵒʳᵖˢᵉ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵗʸ...

I unconsciously summon my box cutter and trace it along my arm, making sure I don't go too deep as to slice an artery. My breath speeds up as my heart thumps out my chest, and my sight goes dark. I think I might puke again... ᵗʰᵉʸ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ᵐᵉ ᶦⁿ ʰᵉʳᵉ. And Schneeplestein! He could see I was panicking and still decided to side with those assholes! I fffff... ah, I can't hate him. I wish I could tear out his organs right now, but... I still really like him. I am a monster, aren't I? Wanting to hurt someone I care about. I deserved this.

I earned all the times he got Marvin to throw me into the basement because he didn't want to touch my demon filth. When he locked me outside during a thunderstorm, and I got struck by lightning because I was glitching too much. He stuck a scalpel in my neck because I accidentally broke one of his mugs, and then I tried to strangle him with the headphones, but then the others walked in and kicked me out for a couple weeks.

ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ ʷᵉᵉᵏˢ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐⁿ ˡᶦᶠᵉ...

The shaking calms down, and I sit back up. I allow the warm water run down my back as I continue to let my thoughts run. Not tasting salty tears or coughing up as much blood anymore, I continue to cut light lines on my arm but soon decide to get rid of the box cutter. I can hear a large amount of yelling from downstairs, but I try to block it out.

Then when they let me back, they just continued as if it never happened. Always 'quoting' me and embarrassing me. If I ever dared ask to spend time with one of my friends, they would tease me or say something like, "But what about us? You never want to spend time around us! What happened to us being a family?" And then exclude me every time they did something together.

I fall so deep into my thoughts that I don't realize the knocking on my door. Or that I layed back down and the tub is filling up with cold, red-stained water. A small voice yelling for me to open the door.

It's my fault—all of it. If I didn't exist, the others wouldn't have to worry about me hurting them... they could all be happy again. They wouldn't waste their breath on yelling at me or wasting their energy on locking me away like the monster I am. They won't have to tell lies or work extra hard. The only issue I see with dying is not seeing my friends... my REAL family anymore. Plus, I doubt they have sweets in the afterlife. That doesn't matter, though. I'll just have to live with the sacrifice of not eating ice-cream or chocolate anymore.