Tangled Up In Him (Complete)

Chapter Twelve: Darkness

Marcie's POV:

        It's been two weeks since the shower incident.  Alec has distanced himself from me, but all the while still lets me stay with him in his room which I am grateful for.  He feeds me and lets me take showers four times a week.  Sometimes he'll tell me a bedtime story and sing to me until I fall asleep; I look forward to these nights when he actually acts human.  But even then he seems so distant.  Like hes putting on a front and pretending for my sake.  It all seems so forced now, like he's only pretending to care, which kills me.  I long for Alecs attention now more than ever, something I thought I would never feel.  I miss his admiration towards me; it's the one thing I long for the most and as soon as I think he's coming around, he makes a U-turn.

        He isn't here today.  He actually hasn't been here for some time now.  Im not sure how long he's been gone but I've already spent a few nights without him.  It feels so weird to miss Alec.  It's like Im a drug addict and he's my heroine; I can't stand to be away from him for long.

        I haven't done much since Alec's been away.  He only lets me leave the room to go to the bathroom or get food from the kitchen.  He told me he set up cameras to keep an eye on me.  I'm not sure if he ever looks at them but I don't wana find out.  So I have just been sitting in his bed reading his collection of books.  Ive made it through Lord Of The Flies, Vanity Fair,  and Wuthering Heights and am quickly getting tired of the english language.  I was making my way through The Great Gatsby when I fell asleep.

Alec's POV:

        I've been so angry with myself lately.  I try not to let Marcie see but I'm pretty possitive that she has; which is why I left.  I've been gone for three days.  I told her I had some family things to do; I lied.  I didn't want her to know where I was going.  She's just now beginning to get out of her adjustment period and she's starting to settle in nicely, I didn't want to ruin it by scaring her.

        Anyways, i've been headed home for about an hour now; I've decided i've been gone long enough I don't want to keep Marcie waiting longer than she has too.  I've thought long and hard about her and it's finally time to tell her. 

        I didn't get home till around one or two in the morning.  I slowly and quietly strut my way up the stairs to my room and dropped my bag and keys on the floor by my dresser.  Marcie was sound asleep, as I expected.  I yanked off my jumper and climbed in bed carefully, trying not to wake her, but my efforts failed.  She rolled over and rubbed her eyes open.  When her eyes met mine she gave me a big smile, which I have to admit I missed.

"Alec, your home." she stated in a sleepy voice.  I rubbed her hair softly.  

"Yes.  Now go to sleep." I demanded.  She rolled back over and that was that. 

        I woke up to Marcie's restless tossing and turning.  "I can't sleep anymore, Alec.  Im wide awake." she finally broke the silence.  I, still having my eyes closed tight, groaned letting her know it was not time to get up.  She placed her head on my bare chest and ran her fingers along my pelvic bones.  If anyone knew how to get me up, it was Marcie Brooks.  Her soft touch made my hair stand on end; I'm up.

        I finally opened my eyes; my blackout curtains were slightly ajar, sending a sliver of white sunlight through the room.  I caressed Marcies hair letting her know she had my attention and she lifted her head up to look at me.  Her head was perfectly positioned so that the sliver of sunlight was bouncing off her hazel eyes sending shots of green in my direction.  She was beautiful; she tore at my heart strings.  I couldn't stand to look at her any longer so I got up out of bed.  I hate myself.  I stood up and stretched the sleepiness out of my body.  I just don't know what to do with myself.  I paced the room slowly, thinking of a way to tell her; I'm not good with apologies, or anything emotional in that matter.  I could just feel all the hatrid filling up my body, I was steaming out of control, my face felt as if it was going to burn right off my bones.  And just when I thought I was filled to the brim; I exploded.  My fist went hurling towards the wall and collided with a loud smash.  It broke through the drywall and smashed into a stud in the wall, sending shots of piercing pain through my hand and up my arm, vibrating my whole body.

"Fuck!" I screamed loud and kneeled on the floor cradling my hand in the other.  Marcie of course rushed to my side asking if I was okay.  I couldn't even think.  She hovered over my shoulder, rubbing my arm and trying to look at the damage but I shrugged her off.  I didn't want her to see me this way, weak and fragile.  

"Alec, talk to me please!  Why did you do that?" she asked as I sat against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, trying not to focus on my now bloody hand.  What the fuck is wrong with me.  Why did I do that?  I sat in silence, I couldn't talk to her.  I couldn't even speak if I wanted to.  I could feel my hand swelling up with every slow breath that I took.  I kept my eyes on the ceiling but all I could see was green and purple dots dancing all over the place.  It was a good thing I was sitting down cause it felt like the room was spinning in a million different directions.  I closed my eyes as it felt like my body was getting heavier and heavier, almost as if gravity was multiplying.  I could hear Marcie talking but I couldn't make out what she was saying.  It felt as if I had cotton balls in my ears; everything was muffled.  Before I knew it I couldn't hear anything at all.  I opened my eyes but all I saw was blackness.