Before You

Chapter 82

Eli had to get up and go to the other side of the hospital bed. I didn't like losing the closeness from him. I'm feeling so vulnerable right now.
Dr. Martin set up the ultrasound machine and had me lift up my gown revealing my abdomen. He applies the cool gel and I was squeezing Eli's hand and he was telling me to take deep breaths.
The ultrasound started and I wasn't hearing anything. I started to panic. "Emma, baby, please calm down. It just started. Please breathe"
He was trying to comfort me, but I can't take anymore tonight. I really can't. Dr. Martin interjected and said he was looking for sign of trauma and couldn't visibly see any issues. He then said let's find the heart beats. Within seconds of him saying that we heard both strong heartbeats of our babies and I started tearing up and look over at Eli who had tears in his eyes and he noticed and put his hands on my face and said "they're okay, baby. They're okay." And kissed me with so much force and passion. He pulled away and put his forehead against mine and let out a deep breath.
Poor Dr. Martin had to clear his throat to get us to listen to him again.
"So Mr. and Mrs. Brink..." neither of us corrected him. "What we'll do now is leave this monitor on for the next 24 hours. Rest and keep your feet elevated." Eli thanked him and nodded his head.
Dr. Martin left the room and closed the door behind him.
Eli looks at me and I'm still sniffling not making eye contact.
Eli softly says "baby, can we please talk about what happened?"
I look up at him and don't say anything for a moment. "About which part?" My voice sounds hoarse.
He sighed and said "what happened in our apartment. That's most important."
I look down and start playing with my fingers. A nervous habit I picked up as a kid.
Eli noticed and placed his hand over mine in a comforting way. I look up at him and search his eyes. His eyes show so much reassurance. I take a deep breath and tell him everything from Annie's phone call and to what happened inside the apartment.
I then added "I have a lot of baggage, Eli. Are you sure you want to be with me after everything?"
Eli's face is blank. I can't read him. He opens his mouth and he's mad. "You can't be serious when you ask me that, Em. I want you. All of you. Everyday. Don't ever question that." He got up and puts his hand through his hair and started pacing.
I started to feel tears again and said "please don't be mad at me.... most of all, please don't leave me." He stopped and looked at me. He let out a sigh and came back over to me and said "I'm not mad at you. You have done nothing wrong in this entire situation. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. I'm highly pissed about Ryan, but again, that's not your fault. I hate what he did to you."
I just look at Eli. He continues "babe, I promise you, I'm not going to ever let anything like this happen to you ever again." And he means it. I nod my head.
He glances at the clock and says "let's get some sleep baby. It's getting late." He goes to shut off the light and I panic thinking he's going to leave and come back tomorrow. "Don't leave!!"
Eli turned and seems concerned "Em, I'm just turning out the lights. I'm not going anywhere." I take a deep breath. "Can you hold me? Please, Eli?"
He walks back and takes off his suit jacket and comes behind me and lays down and holds me.
"Baby, I'm not letting anything happen to you or our babies. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe. I love you so much. Get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere."
I tell Eli I love him and drift to sleep. I don't know how long I slept for, but I woke up screaming from the nightmare I had. Eli was holding me and saying "baby, I'm here! I'm here! It's just a bad dream!" My heart is racing. I take several deep breaths and am terrified. "He was going to kill me."
Eli pulled me closer and kissed my shoulder. "He will never get close to you again to even try." His voice laced with venom. I try to roll over so I can face him and he loosens his hold on me and I scoot closer and hug him and bury my face in his chest. I hear Eli let out deep breaths and say "everything is okay." And rubs soothing circles on my back. I slowly went back to sleep after fighting it for a while, hoping that I won't have another nightmare. Lord, please don't let me have another nightmare and fell asleep.