Before You

Chapter 75

Eli groaned at the sound of the alarm. I turn it off quickly and hear his light snoring and slowly move from his arms to not wake him. I know I should still be asleep myself, but to be honest, I slept like garbage. Last nights drama is now today's and I have to handle it. The stress of it all is not good for me and the babies. I go into the kitchen and decide to make a smoothie for breakfast. I go to the refrigerator and take out strawberries, blackberries, kale, and bananas. I also make sure to take out some milk. I go over to the pantry and take out some chia seeds. Protein is what's needed and I want to do this right. I start putting the fruits and vegetable in the blender. I hear footsteps behind me, but I don't turn around. I feel Eli's eyes on my back just watching me. I hear the kitchen table chair slide out so I know he's going to sit. Neither of us say a word to break the tension. I finish making the smoothie. There was a ton made and there was no way I could finish it. So I also poured some for Eli. I put the glass in front of him and go back into the kitchen to start cleaning up my mess. He gets up and wraps his arms around me from behind and puts his face in my neck and kisses it. I close my eyes. I've been begging myself not to crack since he entered the room. He breaks the silence first "Emma, can we please talk about this?" I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. I know I'm going to need to talk to him about this eventually so I might as well do it now. I quietly and nervously say "okay."
Eli guides me to the living room so we can sit on the couch. I sit on the opposite end with my knees to my chest. When he realizes I'm not going to sit close, he moves closer to me. He looks me in the eyes and says he loves me and I nod my head. "Gosh, Em... I wish you would tell me you love me back. I know that you do!" I start to get upset and my voice quivers when I say "just tell me the story." He sighs before he clears his throat.
"Em, Kenzie and I were together for a long time. I thought I was going to spend my life with her. We were best friends and were pretty much inseparable." I started getting uncomfortable and started to readjust myself on the couch. Eli noticed and tries to take my hand to hold it. But I don't let him. Am I being too hard on him? He looks down before continuing. "About a year and a half ago, Kenzie found out she was pregnant. I was over the moon and so were my parents. It turns out she wasn't as excited as I was. She didn't want the baby. She wanted to party and not give up girl time when the baby came. She made it clear at the point she never wanted to have kids and that ours was a mistake. I told her that she could just have the baby and I would raise him or her. She said she would think about it and I waited and waited. I was going to take her out to dinner so we could talk about it some more. She showed up at my apartment and told me she had an abortion. She didn't even talk to me about it. I was so angry and upset. All I saw was red. I couldn't be around her, but tried to stick it out. 3 months of trying to get through it, I knew I couldn't be with her anymore. So I ended things. She wasn't the person I thought she was and is not the person I want to spend my life with." He looks at me with sincere eyes and I start crying. Gosh, these hormones! Eli starts wiping my tears. "Emma, baby, it's okay." I interrupt him "no it's not! I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you yesterday. You wanted to tell me. I thought the worst and couldn't get it out of my mind. I was so wrong and hateful. I'm just so sorry." I am in a full out sob and put my face in my hands. He wraps me in his arms "baby, there's no reason to be sorry. I should have told you sooner." I pull away a little to look at him and tell him I love him and seal it with a kiss. He deepens that kiss and pulls me on his lap. We are getting lost in each other and that's what we need right now.