Snape's New Flower

We Can't

His arms wrap around my lower torso, pulling me tight into the curves of his body as he whispers against my neck, "I'm glad you're here."

"I wouldn't mind waking up to this every day," I mutter, still groggy.

"Don't tempt me," he growls, turning me to face him, "I might just hold you to that."

I don't want to think seriously about that now, so I distract him with a kiss, sliding my hands down his chest. He throws the blankets off and sits up, "you're killing me."

I wrap the blanket around me and laugh, but it cuts off when I realize he only wears a sad smile. "What's wrong?" I ask.

He pulls on his usual pair of trousers, which I'm sure he owns a dozen of, before answering, "nothing, I'll go make breakfast."

I nod as he leaves, feeling uneasy. What was that all about? I shake it out of my head and walk to the bathroom before a quick shower, slip on one of his jumpers, and meet him in the kitchen.

Today he has made porridge, and not the fancy sort with loads of toppings to make it palatable. I sit down at the table where he has already started to eat, confirming that something is wrong, "Sev, talk to me." I spoon the mushy oats into my mouth, waiting for his response.

"We can't get married."

I drop my spoon, nearly splattering porridge all over myself. Married? I hadn't even considered that yet, we were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. "Sev, why-"

"I'm not presuming you want to marry me, I'm merely acknowledging that we can't."

Now I'm starting to get annoyed, what possible reason could he have? But before I even need to ask, he tells me.

"I'm over twice your age, I have no future. Only a past filled with anger and regret."

I shake my head now, how could he be saying this after telling me he loved me only a few days ago. "Why are you saying this now?"

"Because," he explains, growing more and more confident in his decision, "I need to stop this before we're in it too deep."

I choke, and he reaches out a concerned hand that I push it away. Standing up from the table, unable to look at him for another second, I say - no, yell - "don't you think we passed that point when you slept with me?"

He looks down, ashamed. And rightfully too.

"Who are you to make these decisions on my behalf? Too old, no future - that is bullshit and you know it."

He looks up now but his eyes are filled with hurt, not rage like mine, "I meant what I said, I do love you. That's precisely why I can't be with you."

"Because you're so old and wise. You know so much better than me. Isn't that right, Professor Snape?" I snap, knowing full well I was crossing a line.

He stands up from the table, dumping the uneaten contents from his bowl into the trash bin. "I think you should pack your bags."

My heart sinks, my rage depletes, and I'm left with an empty aching as he walks past me as if I don't exist to him. Not anymore.

"No." The words come out before my mind has even processed them. He turns to face me, baffled. I close the space between us before he can protest, wrap my arms as tight as i can around his neck, and repeat myself, "No, I'm not leaving."

He sighs, but places one hand gently on my back. I take it as compliance and look up at him "I promised you Sev, I'm always going to be here for you. Don't push away the people who love you."

His lips find their place on my forehead and I loosen my grip on him, wishing we were back in bed where we knew we belonged to each other.