Barney Calhoun x Reader. (What part of stop do you not understand?! 🍐)

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Heyyy, bro. This wasn't requested, but I just wanna get this book a-rolling so it could go somewhere. Enjoy!

God, Barney was so annoying sometimes. He constantly liked to bully you and get on your nerves. Since you were the shy one, and you kept your cool. But last night, you thought about scenarios.
Scenarios that just might work out. You just thought about bringing him down to the ground, and then maybe he'd stop being such an asshole sometimes.
And then you confirmed it. Today was the day that you were gonna make Barney pay. You weren't gonna be a pushover this time, because today, you snap and show your true feelings. But you had to let it naturally happen, really let him have it.
You walk into Eli and Kleiner's place early, and you didn't see any aliens. Lamarr was in her crate and everyone had a rule they had to follow, except Barney. The first one up and at the base needs to feed Lamarr, and you did just that. You gave her some watermelon and grabbed your lab coat before putting it on. Then you began to work on the teleportation machine.
A lot of time had passed, and Alyx was the second to come to the hideout. "Hey, Y/n! How's the machine goin'?" She asked as she pat your back. "Huh? O-Oh, yeah, it's going fine, I guess. I'm just safe-proofing it. It's not really going the way I want it to though." You answer. "Well, if you need anything, just know that I'm good at building things and fixing them! Just holler if you need me, I'm gonna go hang out with Dog." She replied. You didn't say anything back and just let her do her.
Some. Ore time had passed and you dropped your tool from a high place for the 8th time. "Dammit!" You cursed as you hopped down from the stairs leading to the machine, but when you go to get your wrench, you found that it disappeared.

"Heyy, poor little Y/n. Did you drop your fancy tool while working on the machine?" A certain voice asked, which made you grit your teeth. Barney. "Yeah." You answer bitterly. "Do you have it." The way you said it was supposed to be intimidating, and it was, just not to Barney.
"Oh!" He gasped. "Little Y/n wants her wrench back?"
"Stop it..." You muttered, but he just kept poking.
"I wonder what she's gonna do! Maybe she's gonna bite my face off!"
"Stop it, now."
"What's so special about a wrench anyway? Just mop up the floors or something, that'd make you useful."
"Just stop it already! What part of stop do you not understand?!" That was it. You yelled as you uppercut him, making him fall backwards. "What the hell is your god damn problem?! Is that fucking helmet cutting off circulation to your brain or something?! You're just a guard here anyway! If you wanna be a fucking smart-ass, jump through that life-ending portal right now and see that my skill is just as important as everyone else here in this hideout!" You snapped at him.
Barney just stared with wide eyes, and that's when he knew that he over-did it with the insults. This made him feel bad, really bad. But seeing you like this in a dominant posture... turned him on. He tested to see if his jaw was broken, after confirming that it wasn't, he spoke.

"D-... Damn, Y/n..... I uh... I didn't know you this is how you felt about me..." He said in a rather soft voice. He looked up at you, eyes of admiration and lust. "I must be real stupid, huh?... All these years and I still can't get you out of my head." He smiled gently as he sighed.
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him. "What the hell do you mean, fuck-face?... Are you saying you like me...?" You paused for a moment and shook your head. "No... No, this is one of your god damn cruel jokes." You crossed your arms. Was he seriously toying with your heart?
"What? No! No, I-..." He sighed, Barney didn't know how to put this. "Look, I bullied you all these years because... well... well, I thought if I did, then I'd stop liking you but..." It was hard putting his words in a sentence with an erection in his pants, bothering him.
"Yeah? W-Well I...!" You didn't believe him one bit, instead, you pouted and closed your eyes. "Go get my god damn wrench, you liar." You growled.
Barney only sighed and got up, walking over to where he hid your wrench. How could he get you to see that he actually liked you? Maybe he should stop being mean, for one, two, he might just have to show you.
After retrieving it, he came over to you. But instead of handing it over to you like you ordered, he rubbed it against your ass as he wrapped an arm around your waist. This made you gasp softly and blush hard. You turned your head around, and Barney looked you in the eyes.
"Why don't you believe me, Y/n? Do I have to show you or something?" He asked with a smirk, which only made you blush more if that was possible. He tossed the wrench right next to you on the floor and pressed his erection against you, making him groan in your ear.
"B-Barney..." You whispered softly. "Come on, Y/n. I just wanna make it up to you for all those years. I wanna wake up the next morning and see you next to me~" He said as he leaned over and gave your cheek a kiss as he squeezed your breast with his hand.
You bit your lip and shuddered. This made you think for a bit. Did he actually like you? He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't... would he?
"B-Barney, I-I just-"
"Hey! What are you two doing?! You better not be goin' into that portal!" Eli laughed. He knew exactly what was gonna happen between you two. Barney stepped back quickly from you as you hid your embarrassment with your hands.
"Dammit, Eli! Don't you have something else to do?!" Barney said in a frustrated voice, making Eli laugh even more. "You're killin' me, Barney! Alright, I'll leave you to for a bit. But only for a few seconds!" He said the last part in a serious manner, but smiled afterwards before going to use the bathroom to empty out the ol'... what was it called again?
Barney sighed and looked over at you, smirking a bit before pulling you in for a kiss on the lips. It was passionate, steamy even. He pulled away and spoke words that made you blush.
"You and I will wake up sore tomorrow, got it babe?~" He said as he rubbed your hip. His hand trailed over and squeezed your ass, making you moan softly. He chucked, satisfied that he finally got you to see that he was being honest.
"See you later then~" He said before leave you to do your work.

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