The same roof 1 || HEROPHINE

twenty-seven: apologize and apologize

Hero's Pov

It's been like five days? and I just saw her once.
Now she eats before I get home and the locks herself in her bedroom or she sleepover at Nathan's.
She said me that she's trying to not catch feelings for me, is that working? Because , for me it's not working every night I have to use myself control and not sneak in her room or even look at her sleeping from the doorway.

Till this moment I didn't expect that this thing was this serious to me.
I really can't get out her of my mind and every time that she sleepover at Nathan's I go crazy.
Is she finding in him what she thinks that she's not going to find in me?
I know that I showed her what she didn't needed to see like me sleeping with Chanal, for change her mind about me. She really things that I'm the classic fuck boy but that's not it.
Okay, I have to be honest, I wasn't searching for a real story, for a relationship. I had sex with like five girls till now? I have to admit that I have kissed more but I think every guy had. I mean who didn't kissed a girl during a night with the boys in a night club? But this not means that I can't and I don't want to have a real relationship and don't have a girl by my side an be able to call her my girlfriend. I just wasn't searching for that. I kept saying to myself, she will come when I'll not expect that.
I was good with myself and the boys but when I moved here, I tasted how is having a girl in your life, with you can share things, cuddle and makes you feel protected and loved. I really do want this in my life and for all this you can't just pick a random girl, you have to find who can fits you and Josephine...? She is what I was waiting for I guess.
She is charismatic, funny, kind but the most important for me... she has character, she knows how to keep up with me? She doesn't gives me the right so easily and I love it.
She knows how to be a badass.
Just thinking about that she really left her country and she built a new life in less than a week. She is so strong and so damn organised.
I'm really into her but I keep messing up with her because I never tried to impress or make jealous someone. It's like a fucking mission for me and of course is failing because she is literally hanging out with Nathan 24 hours a day.

I literally miss our little moments especially I miss her eyes on me, our little conversations and our cuddles.
I miss her jokes about me being a player, you know, our little fights.
I miss finding her sleeping in the couch or reading books.
I miss the heat of her body next to mine at nights. After you know how is the feeling about fall asleep cuddled to someone it's like a drug, you're instantly dependent.

After spraying a bit of my cologne and put the bottle back on the cabinet and then I notice Josephine's black hair ties.
I grab one and I smell it. It literally smells like her.
I'm gonna keep this.
I close the cabinet and I wear the hair tie around my wrist, it's kinda a trend tho so nobody will ask about it and she is not going to notice that this is missing.

I walk out ready to go and then when I walk to the living room I see her standing near to the cooker.
I hear the sound of the oil in the pan that's frying.

She seems a bit tired, her blonde hair are pulled up in a messy bun, she is wearing her comfy sweats and her feets are naked. They are red so I guess they're hurting.
Only God knows how much I missed not having her around here. This place were so dead and I was feeling so lonely.
Happiness takes place in my chest while I have to bite my lower lip trying to don't smile.
"Hey I didn't heard you walk in." I say scarring her.
She literally jumps. I guess her thoughts were so noisy to not hear the bathroom door close.
She turns still managing the onions on the pan with a spoon.
She looks at me, pointing the oceans that she has placed instead than two eyes. They are really unbelievable. I loose myself every time that I look at them.
"Hey." she says and I can clearly read in her eyes that she's also surprised to see me.
Then I see her eyes go down. She's staring at the sweater that she got me for my birthday.
She turns around quickly and take back her eyes on the pan.