Let Me Rest For Awhile

i stayed up late writing about you

it's not like i suddenly miss you or my guilty conscience kicking in or anything but i keep rewinding the memories of us and let the past eat me alive, especially tonight. do you remember the feeling of being lost and free in space, floating around carelessly in vacuum while the stellar structures just stare? if you don't, well then that was how you once made me feel, like a mystery. it wasn't love but it felt so right so i was scared. we both backed out eventually.

what if we still interacted somehow? what if that faithful night didn't happen? what if i didn't let you go? what if you stayed?
i believe i would've attended every one of your shows, seated in the front row. i would've committed to memory the way you strum your guitar every time you play my favorite song. i think i still do.

maybe i'm too complex for you to understand after years of trying to know me. maybe all of this does not make sense until you find another girl who would understand you better than i ever will. maybe i'm the only person in this endless universe who can only understand myself.