Let Me Rest For Awhile

clairo - harbor

i made a favorite memory of us. i want to put this here because i'm afraid that this fleeting moment would be stolen from us or perhaps be forgotten—it's spring and you took me to the sea, we sat by the shore on the rocks. you had a film camera with you, the sun was setting soon, exhibiting its purple skies. i casually rested my head on your shoulder. you're smoking again, the same marlboro pack, it's your third time of the day but i didn't mind. i looked at you and sometimes i forget, i draw you with my eyes instead of my pencil.

you said you knew a place and took me here, i followed you because i wanted to escape from earthly concerns. you offered me your hand, we held hands for the first time and i was sure that i wanted to make it out of here alive. i could only be found in the whispers and gossips of the town, and all this time i was waiting to be found on the shore, for a boat to take me away... and you reached out for me.

"put on your headphones," you said. "i'll play you a song."

you started playing Harbor by Clairo and all the wind in my veins calmed down. and i waited for the world to swallow us whole because you don't know that i know what everyone else thinks about you and i. i wanted to cry because there is infinity looming over us and it scares me. but it scares me even more to lose this moment to the world who only wants to leave us in ruins, and this fear is my only optimism. i don't know how long we stayed there like that, comfortably existing in each other's quiet company but in my head, this moment stayed for awhile even as the world was getting older, before it slips away from my fingers.