Marry me? || Ushijima Wakatoshi text fic

Wilfred

Y/n's texts will be on this side

Ushijima's on this side

Unknow: Hey. Can you please tell me the answer to (random math equation)? Please, I'm begging you.

Unknow: I believe that you have the wrong number.

Unknown: Do you know the answer? I'm kinda in a tight spot and I need it like now. Please help me, I'll give you my dog.

Unknown: The answer is (the answer). And I do not require you to give me your dog.

Unknown: Why don't you want my dog?

Unknown: Are you calling him ugly?

Unknown: Now I'm sad.

'Unknown' changed 'Unknown' name to 'Dog hater'

Dog hater: I do not hate dogs, and I do not think that your dog is ugly. Please don't be sad.

Unknown: Too late. I'm spiraling into a pit of depression, and I'm bringing my dog with me.

Dog hater: I don't hate dogs. And I don't think that your dog is ugly.

Unknown: My dog is crying.

Unknown: No! Fluffy don't jump, you have so much to live for!

Dog hater: What's happening?

Unknown: He's falling!

Dog hater: Is your dog okay?

Dog hater: I don't think he's ugly.

Dog hater: Hello?

---

Unknown: Sorry I didn't respond. I was in the middle of a math test. Mt teacher was coming so I had to shove my phone up my shirt.

Dog hater: Is your dog okay?

Unknown: I don't even have a dog.

Dog hater: You were lying?

Unknown: I was joking, and I can't even have a dog. If I did the RAS would have my head.

Dog hater: You live in a dorm too?

Unknown: No, I live in a prison cell.

Dog hater: You can't have mobile phones in prison. It is against the law.

Unknown: I'm a bad bitch, that's why I have a phone. Wanna know what I'm in for.

Dog hater: Am I committing a crime by texting a prison inmate.

Unknown: I'm in jail for hacking, I know where you are.

Unknown: You live in the Miyagi prefecture, and you live in a dorm.

Dog hater: How do you know that?

Unknown: I already told you that I'm a hacker. ┬┴┤( ͡⚆ل͜├┬┴┬

Dog hater: I must block you.

Unknown: No please don't block me.

Unknown: I promise I'm not a criminal. I'm just a normal high school student.

Dog hater: Then how do you know where I live?

Unknown: Bruh.

Unknown: We have the same area code for our phone numbers, and you asked if I lived in a dorm too.

Dog hater: Oh.

Unknown: Your kind of an idiot.

Dog hater: That's not very nice.

Unknown: Do you by any chance play a sport?

Dog hater: Yes I do play a sport. I play volleyball.

Unknown: Aaahh, I understand now.

'Unknown' changed 'Dog hater' name to 'Volleyball idiot'

Volleyball idiot: Why do you keep on changing my name?

Unknown: I can change it back to Dog hater if you want.

Volleyball idiot: No thank you.

Unknown: Are you gonna change my name?

Volleyball idiot: I don't know what to put.

Unknown: Whatever you want it to be.

Volleyball idiot: Give me a moment.

Volleyball idiot: Please take this quiz www.buzzfeed.com/jessicaprobus/say-your-name.

Unknown: Bruv, are you serious?

Volleyball idiot: Yes.

Unknown: Okay then.

Unknown: Just give me a sec.

Volleyball idiot: I believe the quiz will take more than a second.

Unknown: ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)

Unknown: Fine give me like 5 minutes.

Volleyball idiot: Okay.

Unknown: I got Wilfred. Sounds about right.

'Volleyball idiot' changed 'Unknown' name to 'Wilfred'

Wilfred: This makes me content. Thank you.

Volleyball idiot: You are welcome. I must stop texting you know, I have to get up early tomorrow so I must go to sleep.

Wilfred: You sound like a robot.

'Wilfred' changed 'Volleyball idiot' name to 'Robot boy'

Robot boy: I am not a robot.

Wilfred: It's okay, it was a compliment.

Robot boy: Oh.

Robot boy: Then thank you.

Wilfred: you're welcome. Now goodnight, I hope you don't get killed in your sleep.

Robot boy: Why would I get killed?

Wilfred: It's just a saying.

Robot boy: Oh:

Robot boy: I hope you don't get killed in your sleep.

Wilfred: I'm cackling right now.

Wilfred: But thank you, night.

Robot boy: Good night.

Hee hee

-Crouton