BTS Imagines ✨

Twitter // NJ

"Namjoon, what are we?"

Namjoon and you have been talking for months now. You just met him online but it felt different. You met Namjoon on twitter because of you two's common denominator, that is literature. Namjoon loved writing while you loved reading. You were drawn to every piece that Namjoon posted, every line just felt so right. Everything just felt so right with him.

Even though the two of you are miles apart, the both of you can feel each others' support. You would always support Namjoon in his works and you would also be his inspiration for every piece he wrote recently. He would also be there to listen to you whenever you have a bad day. He would listen to your rants and he'll know the right words to say. Namjoon was just right for you.

You knew that the two of you aren't just friends. You knew each others' feelings, and that was the only thing you felt wrong of. You may know that you like each other, but you're totally confused of what you two are. Leaving you to question everything.

Are we really just friends? The question that would always creep into your mind that causes you to lose sleep. After months of talking and flirting with him, you concluded that you love him. I'm messed up, you told yourself the first time you realized it.

Is it really possible to fall for someone you haven't met personally? You're too shy to share to your friends about you and Namjoon. Scared that they might judge you for loving someone you just met through the internet. Having these thoughts were suffocating. You wanted to share them to lessen the weight, but you can't. You just can't.

Am I enough? A question you would always ask yourself but you'd always answer 'no'. Namjoon would tell you stories about his past lovers and without him knowing, it makes you insecure. Making yourself ask if there's anything you could do to be better than those girls, but no. You can't do anything about it. Because in the first place, they were the winners who won Namjoon's heart. And you? He only likes you while unknowingly having your heart.

Namjoon told you about the problems his exes gave him, the effects of his exes on him. He told you how they broke his heart and how he despises them now. One thing that really left a mark on you was when he told you how he hates waking up to remembering what his exes left on him. He hated how his exes gave him commitment issues.

Your heart broke. Does that mean there wouldn't be any chance for the two of you to be together? It made you overthink more than usual. You had a hard time eating, too depressed to do anything. Namjoon knew about you not eating and it concerned him. He begged you to eat even a little, and the dumb you followed him.

Why do you act like this? You started to cry. Your tears staining your pillows. You were again overthinking this kind of situation. You were frustrated, feeling the darkness creeping in you. Everything that felt right, now felt wrong. This isn't just healthy for you. You said that Namjoon makes you happy, but what is this? Why does he make you feel so stressed? Why does he make you mentally and emotionally unstable?

You suddenly laughed. This is just ridiculous. Why am I being like this because of someone I've never met? This is foolish. This is just so dumb. But you couldn't invalidate your feelings, that's not right. Just accept the fact that you are foolish and dumb.

Confused to the core and you couldn't handle it anymore. You searched for your phone that went lost on your bed when you started to have your breakdown. Successfully, you found it. You knew it was early in the morning in his place, but you couldn't care less. It's time for you to stand up for yourself this time. Time for you to be strong.

You opened your messages and searched for his name.

"Namjoon, what are we?" You sent without having second thoughts. The beat of your heart became one with the rhythm of the sound from your wall clock. It was minutes after when you heard a 'ding' from your phone. He finally answered. An answer that have shaken you to the core.

"We're friends."