SECOND LEAD SYNDROME 2 | JJK

40 | more than anything

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"I'm sorry," I cling onto his waist. There wasn't much  I could offer him besides that— anything else would be too much.

Taehyung, still acting like a big child, crosses his arms in discontent with the fact that Jungkook would be spending the night. Even as I told him that he could literally remember nothing at all, he still persists on seeing his medical records. I would be glad to oblige if it weren't for how difficult Jungkook was. Getting him here was already hard enough as is— imagine trying to sit him through an examination.

"He thinks he's in love with his child bride," I say to him, hoping he'd at least calm down a bit. "Maybe he'll actually fall in love with Jennie and decide to stay."

"And you feel nothing at all?" Taehyung turns around to read my face.

I gave him every reason not to believe me, not to trust me. I wasn't going to fight him on it either. "Does it matter what I feel? What right do you have over me anymore?" I raise my hand to show him where his ring once sat. "We're not together anymore but that doesn't mean I don't care for you. When I said I wouldn't see other people, I meant it."

Taehyung takes my hand and looks at the empty finger more closely, still oblivious that I'd taken it off til this very day. "Where'd it go?"

How do I tell him that I threw it into the Han River out of a drunken rage?

"I was drunk," I start whining as it had become my only, most reliable excuse.

I was drunk when I stood up our anniversary dinner to sulk alone at work. I was drunk at work when I forgot to sign off on important paperwork that resulted in me ruining my most important project. I was always drunk when it mattered— maybe because none of it really did. I think a part of me subconsciously knew that.

"That ring was custom-made," he narrowed his eyes at me. I haven't seen him this enraged since— well, ever. "It took me months to-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I tug on his arm and try to show him the most amount of artificial affection before he could get upset. I knew that he'd revel in any amount just to get his fill, something he never experienced in so long, and I took advantage of it.

Taehyung let out a frustrated sigh, both at the situation and at me in general. "It's fine, it's just a ring."

A ring worth millions and every bit of his sweat and tears. It was another work of art he poured his heart into— nothing shy of his paintings. Yet he forgave me. For this and every other mistake— over and over again. I apologized knowing I'd do it again for the next mistake, so forth and so on.

"Rehab— I've decided I'm going," I say to him after recalling my long-needed conversation with Jimin. "Can you sign me in?"

More than happy to, Taehyung nods. "When are you going?"

"Tomorrow night," I answer. "Right after I convince Jungkook to stay— with Jennie. I... I just don't feel comfortable with him going back to that island, not while he's still so vulnerable. I feel like the best place he could be is with Jennie."

Taehyung smiles but there's something about the look in his eyes that says otherwise. The topic of Jungkook was never kind for him and I always felt guilty even mentioning his name. But at the end of the day, just like Taehyung, Jungkook was an important part of my life the same way he was. It was a matter of accepting it— which I don't think he ever could.

Not when Jungkook was one of the main reasons our relationship is so strained.

"Naeun has been waiting to see you," he changes the subject as I knew he would. "You should meet with her and the baby before you start packing. By the time you get out she'll be walking."