SECOND LEAD SYNDROME 2 | JJK

41 | never not

Awake again. It's almost unbearable for me to be awake after such a distressing sleep so I take whatever I could to take the edge off— an addict's daily routine. I didn't even know I was addicted. Not until everyone around me started labeling me as one.

It just amazes me how you find out all sorts of things you never knew about your own damn self, from other people. Both truths and lies. The only ones that matter are from the people you know yet the ones that hurt most are from those you don't.

Nevertheless, it was my last dosage before I'm off to the nuthouse. Might as well take a couple, or five.

Kidding.

I knew my limit.

Anything, nowadays, proved to be more taxing on my body. Even a cup of coffee made my head spin. Going up the stairs became a challenge, hell, riding in an elevator made me sick to my stomach.

"Good morning," Jungkook appears, bedhead and all. He scratches his bum where his boxers cling to his crack and walks straight to the kitchen. That caught my eye but his toned back had all of my attention. "Don't you rich people have a chef or something?"

'You rich people'.

"You're the one born with the silver spoon," I have to remind him. I join him in the kitchen, seating myself behind the island. I think I crouched forward a little too much considering how I've earned all of his attention at my chest.

Jungkook then wholly glances at me for the first time that morning, taking in all 5ft 5 of my horror. I think he was disgusted by the fact that I turned him on more than anything. I totally wasn't his type, not in this condition, yet it was human nature for him to get hard at the sight of sacks of fat on a woman's chest.

"It's morning wood," Jungkook excuses himself, hands pressed against his waking bulge. He's trying so hard to play it off but his beady eyes give it all away. "You should cover up next time, other guys wouldn't be so kind."

"I'm literally in my own home," I snigger at the thought of him being so... overprotective. Not even before was he like this. I remember leaving the house in a bikini style top and the only thing he did before I left was slap me on my rear.

Jungkook shrugs and I almost smile.

Almost.

"Why are you awake so early?" He questions, fighting off his hardness with a cold glass of milk.

"Nightmares," I answer. "Nothing specific, just random nightmares. I think they're the result of my insomnia."

Literally me reliving every horrible thing that's happened to me. It plays on repeat night after night, haunting and taunting me. I even went as far as to getting on my knees and praying for the end of it all. But God never showed any mercy.

He never did.

"Damn, this past year really did a number on you, didn't it?"

If only he knew.

It goes silent and the tension between us was painfully awkward. I wasn't sure if it was sexual or just... awkwardness. It didn't help how fucking clueless Jungkook was either. Just him alone was enough to make everything feel weird.

I stand up and a second later, my world goes spinning. It was so like me to have vertigo every time I fucking move, even just turning my head made me feel so faint. Reason number one hundred why I should definitely be getting help.

Jungkook was quick to come to my aid, an uneasy arm around my waist that hadn't gone unnoticed by either of us. I think him touching me like this was more shocking than me nearly falling on my ass altogether. My first instinct, obviously, was to push him away. Jungkook, however, rudely rejects my action and insists on clinging to me for dear life.