𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

“oh shit... this can't be fucking happening, god please tell me this isn't happening.”

“you're a strong and beautiful woman samantha, and rudy doesn't deserve you.”

I keep hearing those same words repeat in my head what drew said to me drunkenly on ‘ that night ’

I remember it all and I don't entirely hate myself for it. He's a great guy and all, but do i really want to be with him. I don't know what I want, but I'd rather do anything else right now than look at this fucking test in my hand right now.

There's only one thing I can do to clear my mind off of things right now and I know it'll make me feel much better.

I grabbed my mask, jacket, and put the test in my purse before leaving sleeping rudy in bed alone.

I got in my car and quickly, but carefully drove over to the person who I could open up to the most.

I took a deep breath before knocking on the door and hearing the safe voice yell  “just a minute” from across the mansion already made me feel better.

The door swung open and a gasp came from her lips. “sammie....” she smiled brightly in slight shock.

I smiled as i looked at her. “hi mom.” we quickly embraced into a hug it's been a very long time since i've seen my mom so i'll just put it this way.

im the only child that my mom actually has besides her stepchildren so with me being the only one she spoils me a lot mainly. Her and my dad got a divorce during the time i was dating rudy in high school. My dad is well how can I put this..... He's a addict.

Drugs, drinking, and anything else you can fucking name. Even thought he's like fucking 40 he still does drugs has been since he met my mom, but then he went back on it again.

So my mom divorced him and after Rudy left I had no where else to go after graduation so I moved to LA with her and I didn't stay to far because I didn't want her to worry.

My mom remarried this business man who in my opinion isn't that bad. I know a lot of people hate their stepdads, but he's a great guy. He has five kids, yes five 4 boys and one girl who's about my age.

So yeah that's most of my life and I ain't mad at it.

“It’s so good to see you.” she said with a smile still on her face as she pulled away and moved over some so I could walk in.

When I did she closed the door behind us and led me to the kitchen. “Honey it's been ages since I saw you. I just can't believe you're actually here.” she said grabbing two glasses.

“yeah i've missed you too mom, and your cooking.” I giggled and sat down in a stool.

“so any boys you wanna talk about?” she asked smirking wiggling her eyebrows.

“oh my gosh mom!” i rolled my eyes and covered my blushing face.

“oh come on honey, me and your father have already watched the show. you can spill the deets to me.” she said pouring us some wine.

“uh maybe you didn't watch the show carefully enough....”

“what do you mean?”

I groaned before looking up at her and speaking.

“i had to work with rudy.” my mom quickly spit her wine out of her mouth and onto the kitchen island. My eyes widened at her reaction.

“im sorry what?”

“mom you heard me. if not you wouldn't have done ‘ that.’ ” i said pointing at the mess she made.

“that boy is something else. now he's going to come and ruin your life again. i told you that boy was no good news and as soon as you get back on your feet forgetting about him he gets shoved right back into your life. I swear he has some nerves.” she said pouring her another glass as my full wine glass just sat in front of me thinking about what she had said.

She looked at my expression and immediately took back what she had said. “oh honey i'm sorry.... i – i know you loved him, but their are plenty of other men out there in the world who are better than rudy pankow.”

Maybe she's right, but i – i don't know.

“now drink your wine and let's go do some tiktoks.” she said making me giggle at first, but then thinking about it. Isn't wine alcohol? I don't think people like ‘ me ’ can have alcohol.

“i uh I can't drink it mom...” I said quietly, but i knew she heard me because she sat down her wine glass and looked at me sadly before walking over to me and hugging me tightly pulling me into her chest as I cried.

I continued crying as my mother smoothed me with her voice and hands. I always loved it when she'd rub my hair and comfort me. It made me feel safe even if i'm 21 years old.

“shush baby you're okay.... it's going to be okay. i promise.”