Hitorijime My Hero One-Shots (Masahiro x Kousuke)

Words On Your Skin

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
Self-harm and depressing thoughts are mentioned in this chapter. If you aren't comfortable with either of those please skip this story. Thank you.

(This idea's credit is due to @FuckingDeku, thanks for an interesting prompt!)

He didn't think the drinking had become worse.
For months the number of bottles on the floor he cleaned up every night seemed to stay stagnant. He was always too weary to truly count the amount every night anyways.
     But after a few months, the bottles did become greater in number in noticeable amounts. Soon the bottles weren't the only noticeable difference. Soon enough Masahiro's mother started drinking more but getting drunk far slower. It stopped knocking her out after two or three bottles, and instead, it took five or six. And then the verbal insults started and Masahiro just took everything his mother threw at him; reassuring himself that it was nothing more than the alcohol talking. Verbal insult after insult, degradation after degradation. Until verbal insults weren't enough, until every little thing Masahiro did off the center of perfect was reason enough to degrade him; verbally and physically.
He had to start hiding the small bruises as they become more and more prominent. He quickly became better and better at finding clothing pieces and cover-up makeup that would hide them.
His mother only started to get more and more aggressive as time went. He wasn't sure what had sent his mother into a spiral of excessive drinking and anger after so many years of her being able to keep her drinking to a limit. Masahiro made up all kinds of hopeless situation his mother might have gone through while he wasn't around to justify why she was doing this to him; why all this was happening. Every answer had some kind of flaw in it, but they were the only things that were keeping him from breaking down.
He got more fidgety around friends and others at school and work. Kousuke noticed that he had started to apologize more and more when he made small mistakes even though he had reassured him that they were really nothing to fret over.
Masahiro's mental and physical states only became worse; as did his mothers drinking and anger. Started to truly believe the things she would say to him. At first he could keep himself afloat by telling himself that this wasn't her talking, that she didn't actually think any of the things she was saying. How could a mother think those things about her son?
"You're the reason I'm in the life I'm in. I would have had it easier if you were just never born."
"And of course I had to raise you, because whoever your father was didn't want a mistake like you. I didn't want to raise an annoying child either, but I was stuck with you. Maybe I should found a way out of it sooner."
"You can't do anything right, can you? No matter how hard you try you always screw up!"
"At least try to keep yourself for ruining my life further, can't you? Aren't you old enough to leave by now? Then you wouldn't be dragging me down."
But now he was drowning. Every degrading sentence only got to him more and more. Each one becoming another drop in the water slowly surrounding him. The words constantly repeating in his mind, reminding him that they were words his own mother had said to him. Reminding him that he was something that his own mother regretted.
Soon after is when it really started to feel like he was suffocating. He could see himself drowning in that sea of words and he couldn't breath. He chest would get tight and the air was knocked out of him. Yet he could feel himself heaving and hear himself gasp in and out. His legs wouldn't move and he always felt like he would collapse. He always felt likes this when his mother would start to look at him with that look in her eye that told him he had made a mistake big enough to get hit over. It was only sometimes that that feeling would stay away long enough for him to get to his room and lock his door. Most of the time, it left him weak and he wasn't able to even leave the room.
Almost three months passed since she had started leaving noticeable bruises on Masahiro. Most of them went untreated and became noticeable colors they would turn dark blue and purple and even sometimes a paler green. Masahiro let these bruises be as he told himself that he deserved them. He just wanted to find any way for this all to end. For his pain from the bruises and degradation to just go away. And he found a way for it to go away for long enough.
He started to inflict pain on himself. It was in whatever way that could distract him and that wouldn't hinder him in doing whatever his mother told him to. He would at least try to keep those areas cleaner than the bruises as it would only make him more of a burden if they got infected.
Kousuke could tell there was something strange going on with Masahiro. He started out being more jumpy than usually around people and reverted back to thinking small mistakes were grave offences. He also had patches in his skin that weren't extremely noticeable but they were slightly off color, like someone had used a lighter color of his skin tone on him. Then he started to come to the Ooshiba house less often. Usually he was there every night, give or take, but lately he had only been over maybe once or twice a week and even those numbers had become unsure.
When Kousuke saw him at school after he stopped coming over as often, he just look drained. His eyes were always down, he seemed to have no energy, and he jolted at the slightest touch. He distanced himself with all his friend and even Kousuke. Kousuke though that maybe his collage entrance exams were just weighing really heavily on Masahiro. Normally that all would seem like too much just over some entrance exams, but he knew Masahiro always wanted to do nothing less than his very best in fear of disappointing those around him.
So the next time he came over to the Ooshiba household, which was almost two weeks after his previous visit, Kousuke made sure the rest of them were out of the house so that Kousuke could help Masahiro. They were three years into dating at this point and he knew that sometime to just relax and talk things out was the best way for Kousuke to get to Masahiro. So he planned to take a nice bath with him, put Masahiro into his favorite hoodie of Kousuke's, and just take a night to catch up on sleep or talk or help with work or do anything really that could help his wife.
Masahiro got to the Ooshiba house and was going to just start preparing dinner. He noticed that no one was there except for Kousuke who was coming back downstairs.
"Hey Kousuke, where is everyone?"
"They all went out for dinner today. So we have the house to ourselves today." He reached him at the bottom of the stairs and kissed his forehead.
"I think I might have bought too much ingredients then for dinner. I-" Kousuke took the shopping bag from his arm.
"Don't worry about dinner for today, alright? Today I just want to talk about you."
"T-talk about me? Is there something I d-did wrong? I promise I can fix it! Whatever it is..." He started to nervously ramble. He had started to shake a little and avoid Kousuke's eyes.
"Masa! There's nothing wrong. You didn't do anything. I just meant to help you relax as you looked tired and tense lately." He held one hand on his shoulders and placed a hand softly under his chin to bring his eyes back.
"I look tired and tense?" Masahiro looked into the hallways mirror. He couldn't help but wonder, "When did my face become so sullen?"
"I started a nice bath for us upstairs. Why don't you head up and get ready to get in while I put these groceries away in the fridge?" Masahiro nodded and gave him a small smile before heading up the stairs. He was too shocked by his own appearance to even process some of what Kousuke had said.
He got undressed to get in the bath that was filled with warm water and fluffy bubbles. He caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. He had forgotten all about the bruises on his back and thighs as they had been covered by his school clothes. He started to panic wondering how he could hide these. He reached for his clothes, raking his brain trying to come up with an excuse not to get a bath with Kousuke.
Right before he could reach his clothes though, Kousuke had come through the door. He shut it before turning around to face the startled Masahiro who threw his arms across his chest.
"Awe, Masa, what do you have to be shy about? You know we've-" Kousuke noticed the bruises that he was trying to feebly cover up.
"Masahiro what are-"
Masahiro dropped into a crouched position on the floor. He could feel that drowning sensation creep up on him once again. It was gripping him harder than ever and he felt as though he wouldn't ever be able to breath again.
He couldn't stand the thought of losing Kousuke. But he had seen the bruises. He knew that he was weak, that he was useless, and unwanted. Why would Kousuke ever want someone like him for-
He felt warm arms cover his and a steady chest breathing slowly behind him.
"It's going to be alright Masahiro. You can breathe, just try to match yours to mine. Just like you feel on your back.
Masahiro knew that Kousuke was still here for him. All the thoughts screaming that he wouldn't want him either seemed much quieter in the face of the voice of Kousuke. They sat together for half an hour or so before Masahiro turned to hug Kousuke and tell him that he wanted to try and get up.
Kousuke held on to the shaky blond as they stood. He just let Masahiro steady himself as they stood.
"I don't want to ask just yet where all these bruises and small scars came from, they themselves tell a story better than I think any words could. Right now should get you cleaned up."
"B-but if we start now... I won't be home before my- my m-mother is supposed t-to be home."
"That doesn't matter for tonight. You are safe here and won't let you go back; I will protect you here."
Masahiro was still not completely steady but he let himself relax more into him. This was Kousuke, his boyfriend, and the one who had always protected him before and never left his side when he needed him.
"Can- can we still take a bath together?"
"Of course we can. Let e get undressed and run some more warm water."
He planted a small kiss on the top of his head and let him lean against a wall was Kousuke got ready again. He helped Masahiro and himself into the bath slowly.
Masahiro started to unravel in Kousuke's arms as the warm water soothed his bruises and small cuts. Kousuke placed his head on top of Masahiro's and gently rubbed the water and soap on his skin, focusing on cleaning the bruises and cuts but not agitating them. He was going to be the one who Masahiro back into a healthy and happy self no matter how much time, reassurance, or effort it took. It would be all worth it to see Masahiro back into his own happy state instead of what had become of him after, what Kousuke was sure was, someone has broken his mind and tried to destroy his body as well.
"I will be here for you Masahiro. I can't promise everything will be one-hundred percent right right from the start, but I can promise that I will never leave your side and get you back to the place that is best for you and that you want to be in. I swear that I will never let something like this happen to you again." He spoke softly as he kept washing him. Masahiro turned his head to lay the side of Kousuke's chest and nodded. He started to trace various words on Kousuke's skin. And that was all Kousuke needed to know to be certain that Masahiro was okay with him helping and that they would both give it their best.
They story told by Masahiro's skin would be erased from it's permanent standing, and they would do it together.

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~2,171 words~
~So this was another requested idea by @FuckingDeku, and it was an interesting one to write. Hopefully this was to your liking and sorry for the wait! This was a but of a longer one though~

~Shipwhatever