On With The Show

15

Of course Tommy and Nikki wouldn't show up.

Why did he expect anything different? He should have gotten used to this by now. Why did he think this time things would be different? Because it was Tommy Lee? Sure, Vince. Sure. There's always a pattern to this shit, he should have known. Vince let out a sigh. That's why he's naive. He lets himself hope too damn much, and it always gets the better of him. He glared at the stack of papers Nikki had left - he was a good song writer, no doubt about that. He was just a fucking prick too. Which, of course, Vince should have assumed when he first met Nikki.

He groaned. How did everyone else have someone to hang around with? How was everybody else someone's favourite person to be around? Hell, there was no way Vince could see himself being that for anyone anymore.

Anymore.

There was a time when he was the best friend, the perfect kid, the favourite. And that came crashing down almost as quickly as he started liking it.

Vince let out a groan - each time he started thinking about that, he couldn't stop. He always ended up a mess, lying on the floor and more often than not, trembling. He dug his fingers into the flesh on his arm - physical pain to cancel the emotional - and sighed, trying in vain to get his mind to stop racing.

*

Everything went fine till he was in middle school. Of course he'd always felt a little different, but he never really registered what it was that made him feel that way. At all. He had the perfect life - good grades, parents that loved him, money wasn't a problem, and he was even on the volleyball team at school.

He always felt like there was something wrong with his body, though - he could never quite place his finger on it when he was younger. All he knew is he wanted to be Ric Flair one day - man, he loved Ric Flair. When he told his parents, they thought it was the eleven-year-old's equivalent of a crush, but Vince knew it was something else entirely. He didn't want Ric, he wanted to be Ric. Not a wrestler, no, but there was something else about him that Vince wanted. His bravado? No, he had plenty of that already. His fan following? Not especially, though he wouldn't mind that.

But you're not a boy, silly, everyone said. Nothing pissed off Vince any more than that one sentence - nothing shortened his already short temper more than those six words. He didn't know what it was, really, just that he never felt like a girl. It wasn't who he was, not in the slightest. It wasn't just that masculinity came with freedom while femininity came with constraint - it was something else, too.

Then, in the last year of middle school, he came across the word. Transgendered. It was a simple word, he thought, that somehow summarized everything he felt. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt almost free after finding the term. It was odd, he thought, how something that simple could cause a change that big.

Of course, he didn't tell anyone - they could never know.

High school came with huge changes for him - he was lucky enough to not be very... curvy. With his hair back, he passed as the average surfer. The first day, he mustered up all his courage to correct the teacher when she called him Vinnie - blaming it on poor handwriting on the receptionist's part - and semi-officially changing his name to Vince on the attendance register. It almost felt cathartic for him.

Given his luck, however, he should have known that was nothing but a calm before a storm. He should have known it would all come crashing down for him. Being called Vince in high school? Please. That lasted a mere five weeks.

Parent's evening.

He'd not even considered that before - his parents were furious. Their daughter? Changing her name? And being called him on a regular basis?

Everything came crashing down. That evening was a blur for him - he recalled crying, screaming, and being locked in his room for hours on end while his parents discussed what they should do about the situation. Only other person he'd told was an ex-boyfriend of his - Tommy Lee. They'd split amicably - neither was interested in the other. Vince's hand shook as he dialed Tommy's house; asking if he could crash in the van.

Vince couldn't take the constant name-calling in school, or the humiliation he faced every day. Everyone had a limit - and the start of the second year of high school, Vince had reached his.

He dropped out.

Ran away, letting Tommy know he was fine.

Joined a band.

Two years later, he came back to Covina with a changed last name, a hair dye, and no relationship with anyone there.

He was the chick magnet, not the chick. He was the guy who hit on girls at parties. And he loved it.

He assumed he was supposed to be grateful he got into a fight with the band he was in before they had a chance to find out he was transgendered. Then again, it's hard to be grateful for a band with having regular gigs (in a quiet town, too!) that pay for your semi-decent place being taken away, for a shitty studio apartment in LA and a band that doesn't even rehearse.

Not to mention the one person who wholeheartedly accepted you spending every waking moment with his roommate, giving you, if you're lucky, an afterthought.

*

Nikki's eyes were still glassy, but he'd relaxed into Tommy's arms and gotten his breathing under control. He was staring at the ceiling, lying on Tommy's chest with Tommy slowly stroking his messy hair. 

"Thank you," he mumbled, rubbing his face against Tommy's arm. "Tommy, I-"

Tommy just held him tightly, wiping away a few of Nikki's stray tears and rubbing small circles into his arm. He smiled, watching Tommy's long fingers move over his arm.

"Want to hear some good news, Nikki?" Tommy said, feeling Nikki trying to start a conversation.

Nikki looked at him gratefully. "Yeah, Tommy. What is it?"

He grinned. "I got a guitarist's number today. I think we can start that band we wanted to already."

Nothing could have prepared Tommy for what Nikki did next. Nothing surprised him more, either. Tommy always thought of himself as the physically affectionate one.

Nikki lifted Tommy's hand, kissing the back of it.

"That- That's amazing, Tommy,' he said, squeezing it gently.

He just smiled back, hugging Nikki tightly as he squeezed his hand, too.

A/N: Okay I was really nervous about writing Vince initially, but now I seriously love writing his bits and I'm considering writing a series of one-shots based on his story before he came out/ran away?! Thoughts?