Cry Until You Bleed

23- Going Out

“So where is he going to take you?” Mia asks me as we’re finishing up lunch the next day. After lunch, I’m going to Dr. Lombardi’s office so that she can explain to me how this is even going to work and then she’ll give me the clothes that Sophie apparently bought (I’m going to insist that she let me/ my dad pay her back) and then after that, I get to leave.

I just shrug. “I’m not sure. We only have two hours though so it can’t be too far away.”

“This is so exciting for you,” She tells me with a grin. “You, getting to go out into the world. Wear real-people clothes. You must be so excited.”

“I am,” I tell her, grinning at the thought of getting out of these vomit-inducing baby blue scrubs and getting out of the barriers of this center. “Have you ever gotten to do this kind of thing?”

“Nope,” She sighs. “But it’s not unheard of. Usually, people are here for at least four months before they’re considered for breaks but I guess they just think that you’re special.”

“I guess,” I mumble. “How long have you been here?”

“About seven months now,” Mia says. “But I don’t want to get break and even if I did, they wouldn’t let me. They don’t think that it would benefit my recovery at all and they’re probably right. But you’re obviously not liking the whole ‘locked up abroad’ thing so I think it’ll do you a lot of good.”

“Yeah, I think that it really will. I can’t believe that Niles actually thought of this though, it’s really nice of him,” I say, finishing my grilled cheese sandwich.

“He seems really nice,” She tells me. “Well, have fun. Be safe. Make good choices.”

I chuckle, jokingly roll my eyes at her, and then stand up with my tray of trash so that I can get over to Dr. Lombardi’s office to get this show on the road. “I’ll see you later, Mia.”

As I’m walking away, she says goodbye and then I’m leaving the cafeteria. When I walk into the office, Dr. Lombardi is sitting behind her desk, which I rarely see her do because when I’m in the room, she’s sitting in the comfy chair across from the one that I usually sit in.

“Hello, Ana,” She greets me when she hears me walk in.

“Hi,” I sit down in my regular chair.

“Are you ready for today?” She wonders.

I nod excitedly. “Yeah, I am.”

“Great,” She chirps. “I really think that it will do you a lot of good to be able to get out of here for a little while. Now, obviously, there are going to be some rules just to make sure that you’re safe.”

“Sure,” I nod. “I love rules.”

She offers me a small smile to acknowledge my sarcasm and then starts. “Okay, well first, you have to stay with Niles. You can’t go off by yourself at all. You have to stay within the city limits. You have exactly two hours so you should be back by four. I submitted a prescription for you so I have these pills but they’re just for emergencies. If you have a panic attack, they’ll help you calm down but like I said, only for emergencies.”

“Is that all? No staying away from sharp objects or anything like that?”

“I think that one is implied,” She tells me. “Niles knows about the time limit and all of these rules. Try your best to stay away from any of your strong triggers. You’ll be back before it starts getting dark so that won’t be a problem and Niles knows to keep you out of crowds.”

“How much did you tell him exactly?” I ask her suspiciously. “He knows about all of the things that freak me out?”

“No, he doesn’t. I only told him as much as I had to so that I could ensure your safety. You’re our responsibility here, Ana, and it is my job to make sure that you are getting better at all costs.”