J-Hope Oneshots and Sickfics

My Hope

Requested by @Hopa and @Hobihobi

Warning: mentions of sexual abuse, trauma and panic attacks

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Hoseok had never felt this way before. He had always loved to interact with his fans; he tried to never take them for granted. They took time out of their own lives to watch his music videos, shows and concerts. The least he could do was show them respect and care for them.

It was something that Hoseok took very seriously. His fans. The people who stood beside his group when everyone else was against them. They meant a lot to him now, and they would forever mean a lot to him.

But currently, he was having mixed feelings. Not about ARMY, because he still read posts on Weverse that they made and they warmed his heart to the core. But nowadays, he felt uneasy. He wondered if he had any stalkers or saesangs. Taehyung had a few many years ago, and Hoseok had seen first-hand were terrifying they were. Taehyung used to break down every night, worrying whether people would ever learn to respect his personal privacy.

Hoseok knew that most ARMYs weren't like that. The fans that he met at fansigns weren't like that. They were sweet, normal people.

But the uneasiness and fear had crept into him and it now controlled him.

Whenever he was out in public, he felt like someone was watching him. Someone who he was uncomfortable with. When he was with the other members he felt somewhat secure, because he knew the others would protect him if anything happened. But when he was alone, such as when he came back at night from his studio, his anxiety increased tenfold.

That's why he always made sure to make Yoongi or Namjoon come back with him. When they refused, he stayed overnight at the studio. Very few times did he actually have the guts to walk back to the dorms by himself, something he had had no problem with a few months earlier.

The fansigns and concerts were uncomfortable, but he managed to do them. He felt nervous during his solo stages however. Then he saw all the people in the stadium chanting his name and cheering for him, and his fears faded away momentarily. His fears sometimes appeared and sometimes disappeared. Hoseok attributed it to him just overthinking things.

The others were confused at what was going on. Yoongi had asked him multiple times if something was going on, but Hoseok didn't tell him or any of the others. He was just being irrational. There wasn't anybody watching him or stalking him, he was fine.

Absolutely fine.

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He felt absolutely no fear when he saw the fan in front of him. She couldn't be out to hurt him at all. As soon as he made eye-contact with her, she blushed and looked away. She had a huge grin on her face, probably out of shyness. Hoseok smiled as well.

"Hey, what's your name?" he asked.

She mumbled a name that Hoseok didn't quite catch. Blushing again, she looked away.

"I'm Wheein."

"Are you scared of me?" Hoseok asked. He grinned shyly when Wheein looked at him.

"No," she giggled. "I just don't know how to talk to you."

Hoseok gasped in mock surprise. "I don't know how to talk to you either."

Wheein laughed. She lost all her shyness when she laughed, falling to her knees and covering her mouth. Seeing her laugh made Hoseok laugh too. She had such a contagious way of laughter that within a few moments he had doubled over in laughter. Yoongi, who was sitting beside, just shook his head.