Are You Hearing Voices?

P. 55

I was already high, the cigarette just boosted it... incredibly! As I inhaled the smoke into my lungs I immediately began to feel lightheaded. I felt like I was standing on a cloud. Even though the cigarette smoke was much more thinner than the weed smoke it still made me cough. I was not moving, I was stagnant as I stood there next to the stop sign holding the lit cigarette. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and looked at the time, it was 7:25am. My bus comes at 7:30, but I was already there so I was not in a rush. I began walking again. As I got to the bus stop by the gas station I decided to sit down by the curb by the sidewalk at the gas station, for some reason I was really tired. I pulled out my phone again, but this time it wasn't to check the clock, I wanted to listen to music. Listening to music while you're high is... Idk how to explain it, it's like an enhanced feeling.

I connected my phone to the wireless Bluetooth on my headphones and put them on. Normally I like to listen to soft rock music in the morning, R&B, or gentle type of music like Trey Songz or The Weeknd. But when I'm high I like to blast hard trap music, like 21 Savage or Meek Mill, and I like to rap along and pretend that I'm really in the hood selling dope to the fiends on the block. I start rapping along to some Meek and next thing you know the bus pulls up, bus #55. It makes a turn at the corner and stops in front of the gas station. I get up from the curb at the sidewalk and the doors to bus #55 opens up. I step inside.

The bus driver was an overweight middle-aged lady with straight black hair. I say good morning to her, she looks at me and smiles, then she says good morning back.

There were a lot of kids on the bus, all of them from middle school, except for a couple new faces who I presumed were from another school. I walked down the aisle for an open seat in which I could sit in, I wasn't able to find any. I turned back around and started walking back to the front of the aisle, then somebody grabbed my arm and started to pull lightly. At first I thought that it was Christy, but it wasn't, as I looked closer I saw that it was Abdul.

"Sit here bro." Abdul said.

I hurriedly sat down next to him, then I took off my bag and dropped it on the floor. Abdul then picked up the bag and put it on top of his lap.

"You good bruh?" Abdul asked me.

"I'm chilling." I said back.

Abdul stared at me for a few seconds, then he smiled.

"You smoke cigarettes now?" He asked me.

"Naw." I said.

Abdul smiled and turned his head to the side.

"That stuff is bad for you man." He said.

Idk if he wanted me to reply or say something, but I had no response. I mean... I know that it's bad for me but I still choose to do it.

Abdul then turned his head to face me, he was no longer smiling, he had a serious look on his face.

"Did you pray Fajr this morning?" He asked me.

"What kinda question is that bro? Of course I prayed Fajr this morning."

"And then you smoked?"

"Precisely. But I prayed Fajr first."

Abdul then placed his hands on my shoulder and clasped it.

"Good man. May Allah bless you."

"May Allah bless you as well."

"So are you nervous about your first day?" He asked me.

I chuckled. "What's there to be nervous about? Allah is with me." I said.

"That's right, Allah is with you, and He is Faatah." He said.

"What is that?" I asked him.

"He is the Opener." Abdul said.

"Oh."

"Allah is the One Who will be with you as you embark upon new journeys."

I then began thinking about Cecilia and our conversation last night. She wants me to talk to Jerry about quitting smoking and drinking. But idk how I'm going to do that, Jerry is not the type of person to listen to advice, it goes in one ear and out the other with him. And plus, how can I chastise him about his smoking habits when I be doing the same thing? I just want my sister to be happy, but she's asking me to do something that I just don't know how to do.

I had to talk to Christy and get help from her, she always has the answers. I knew she was still at home. She told me that she wasn't going to take the bus. Her friend Shay was going to drop her off. But I still wanted to talk to her before she leaves.

I paused the music on my phone and dialed her number. It rang once and she picked up.

"Yes Jason?" She answered.

"Bae can you help me with something real quick?"

"I'll help you in school bae, Shay's outside."

Shay's the girl that she's hitching a ride with. She's a bit older, in 12th grade. She's short and thick, and has curly blonde hair.

"Whatever." I said, then I hung up.

I turned towards Abdul. "What do you think I should do bro?"

"About what?"

"Jerry bruh! He be getting high too much, and he can't be doing that while he's dating my sister."

"You want him to stop?"

"Yes!"

Abdul then bursted out in laughter. "But you be doing the same exact thing bro."

"Okay DUH, but this is not about me okay, for once just please help me out."

"Idk how to help you bruh. You gotta stop first, then maybe you can get your friend to stop." He said.

"So lemme get this straight, you want me to stop smoking weed?" I asked.

"And cigarettes." He added.

I laughed. "DuL you funny af bruh!"

"I suppose you want me to stop watching porn as well."