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13/12/2012
Lisa's pulse raced, she felt like at any second she could pass out. Cold sweat gathered and glistened on her furrowed brow, her hands clasped tightly as she fiddled with her fingers. The clock in the corner of the living room seemed to get louder with every passing second, its slow ticking driving Lisa mad.
With her parents stare focused directly on her, all of her reasons and arguments for not doing this came flooding back. Reasons upon reasons as to why Lisa spent many nights crying, hiding what she was about to say from the two people that claimed to know her best.
She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out, it as as if her words were snatched away completely. A small hand reaches out and clasps hers. She twists her head to look at Chaeyoung sitting beside her, encouragement and hope expressed through her small smile. Lisa calming instantly at her touch.
She knew that no matter what, Chaeyoung would be here, keeping her calm and reassured. It was due to this fact alone that Lisa was able to open her mouth and tell her parents the thing she was most afraid of.
"I'm Gay"
Both of their faces are rigid, jaws clamped tight, teeth grinding. There was no sound, you could have heard a pin drop. Both parties just staring at each other from opposite sides of the living room, not talking, not moving.
"Chaeyoung is my girlfriend... not just a friend from school that I've grown closer with".
For the past 6 months, Lisa's parents believed that Chaeyoung was nothing more than a friend. After all, she was at her house just as much as Jennie and Jisoo were. The pair were both out and accepted by Chaeyoung's parents, they absolutely adored Lisa and both respected and protected her wish for her own parents not to know about their relationship just yet.
"How long has this been happening?" Mr Manoban was the first to talk, his tone bland and unamused. The look on his face was unreadable.
Chaeyoung could see that Lisa was struggling, this was not how she exactly expected things to unfold. When Lisa made the decision to tell her parents, she asked her girlfriend to be there with her, of course she wasn't going to say no. She stepped in. "We've been together for 6 months... Mr Manoban".
The words were like a time bomb. From the very start the words were so destructive. The room was completely silent, it was as if Lisa's parents were unable to process the words coming out of both girls mouths.
"This is your fault." Lisa's mother spoke up, twisting her head slightly to look at Chaeyoung. Her eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard, merciless. Her focus was only on the Korean girl, it was as if Lisa has become invisible to her or she could not bare to see her at all. Lisa had seen her mother do this before, once, when someone has seriously offended her. "Get out. Now. Both of you".
All Chaeyoung could do was turn her head to see how Lisa was handling this. The whole situation was awkward, angry and messy. The pair had been imagining this moment together for months, multiple scenarios came to mind, but none were like this.
"Wha-" Lisa tried to speak up but she was cut off.
"Are you serious?'" The older woman's voice is loud and harsh as she springs up from her chair. Her eyes full of anger and disbelief. "Tell me you're joking!" She walks towards the two girls quickly, Lisa cowering back into Chaeyoung. "We raised you to be better than this Lalisa!"
"Mom! We-"
"I FUCKING SAID GET OUT!"
Lisa faltered, going silent, tears welling up in her eyes at her mothers harsh reaction. Regret washed over her like the slow waves on a shallow beach, each wave was colder than the last and sent shivers down her spine. Why did she even do this? All she wanted to do right now was take back what she said, to be happy with only being intimate and touchy in private with Chaeyoung without her parents being around. But now, that was all impossible.
She had finally come out. Something she had both dreamed about and cried about. The thing that had been eating away at her for years, she had finally done it. And there was absolutely no way back. She has done it.
Chaeyoung took Lisa's hand gently, muttering a gentle "Come on baby, let's go" as she tried to pull her out of the living room towards the front door.
"Don't bother coming back..."
-///-
"I love you" Lisa muttered into Chaeyoung's chest. The couple had been lying in Chaeyoung's bed for the past 2 hours, Lisa still soaking in what had happened back at her parents house.
"I love you too, Lis." Both girls wrapped their arms around one another, Chaeyoung kissing the top of her girlfriends head. Despite what happened earlier, Lisa felt safe right now. Sure, the fact that she had just been kicked out of her house and her parents no longer wanted anything to do with her was swirling through her mind, but Chaeyoung made her feel safe. "I um, I wanted to ask you something."
"Hm?"
"Well, I spoke to my parents a few days ago, when we decided to do this thing today..."Chaeyoung began "And so, we spoke about how if things didn't go well... if you wanted to stay here? With me?"
Lisa's lips curved up into a smile as she reached up and kissed the other girl.
"So thats a yes?'