Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE)

Chapter 1

* Catherine *

'Oiii... get up punk!' A deep voice rattled through my ears as I felt my body being shaken roughly.

'Piss off' I moaned, shoving the hand away.

'Seriously sis, it's only the second week back at school, you can't be messing up already' my big brother Christian chuckled as he walked over and opened the blinds of my bedroom window.

'Seriously bro... did you have to?' I sulked as the bright morning sun teamed in and I buried my head back into my pillow to avoid the glare in my eyes.

'Yes, now get up!' He said firmly as he turned to leave my room.

'Wait...when did you get in?' I asked a little confused, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. It only just dawned on me that I was alone in the house when I fell asleep last night.

'Late. I didn't want to wake you' he replied simply as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned his bulky body against the doorframe.

'How long are you staying?' I asked, trying to hide any hint of excitement.

My big brother was usually the only other person in the house besides me. Dad worked away on what was supposed to be a rotating roster, but it had him away more than he was home. As for mum, well she was too busy at the hospital in the city caring for our younger sister that it was more economical for her to stay in a small unit close to the hospital instead of driving the three hour round trip there and back each day.

So it was generally just me, myself and I in the house, not that I minded the solitude, in fact I actually enjoyed the independence. Coming and going as I pleased and only having to answer to myself but I will admit it was nice to have my big brother around on occasion.

'Maybe a day or two' he finally replied, while scratching the stubble on his chin 'I'm not sure really, I've got a fight coming up and Pops wants to get a good training camp in before it' he continued on.

'Ohh' I said quietly, staring down at my fidgeting hands.

My brother was a boxer and I hated to admit it but he was pretty damn good. After winning his third straight golden gloves he decided to pursue it professionally and try and make a real go of it.

'I'm sorry lil sis' he said softly, trying his best to avoid any eye contact.

'Don't be silly dick' I replied as playfully as I could, trying to hide my disappointment. 'I'd just get sick of looking at your ugly face anyways' I laughed, but even to my ears it sounded hollow. Instead of drawing any more attention to my wayward emotions I threw a pillow at my brother's head and bolted towards the bathroom before he could retaliate.

'Catherine...' I heard him chuckle as I quickly locked the bathroom door and started to get ready for the day.

Having showered and brushed my teeth I was now standing in front of my closet frowning at the god awful and uncomfortable school uniform we were all forced to wear. The only good thing about it was that at least I didn't have to worry about what I had to wear each day to school. I couldn't think of anything more exhausting then trying to keep up with the latest fashions just to impress some random kids at my school.

Who am I kidding, I didn't give a shit what people thought about me.

Not anymore.

Not after that night.

Pushing those haunting thoughts down as far as they could go before they took root in my mind, I changed into my uniform and stood in front of the mirror, carefully studying the girl looking back at me. It was a daily routine of mine, each morning I would scan my appearance to ensure my carefully crafted facade projected the 'I'm ok' vibe I was hoping it did.

My long, thick jet black hair cascaded in natural waves down my back. My skin had a glowing tan due to the numerous hours I spent in the sun, my long legs were toned and my stomach flat, my rear end was firm and my breasts sat pert on my chest.

Many guys had told me I was fuckable, lucky me right, just what every little girl dreams of being. Thanks to those comments from guys I didn't try and flaunt my appearance, I didn't do anything to accentuate my body or hide it, I just let it be.

I accepted my body for what is was, nothing more.

If I could play devil's advocate and change anything about myself though it would be my eyes. They were the clearest blue and they once used to be filled with an incredible curiosity and excitement, but now they just held sadness. An unending all consuming sadness that didn't seem to fade no matter how much time had passed since 'him'.

Shaking myself out of my melancholy I tied my hair up in a messy bun and applied a little concealer, trying to hide the big dark crescents under my eyes.

I didn't sleep much, not at home anyway. The memories and darkness would always get too much. Instead I stayed awake until the early hours of each morning until my body physically gave out and only then would the darkness of sleep come.

Collecting my school bag from the floor, I packed a few books in it and threw it over my shoulder. I wandered out to the kitchen and grabbed an apple for breakfast and threw my pre made salad into my bag for lunch.

'Later dufus' I yelled to my brother as I made my way to the door.

'You don't want a ride?' He called back.

'Nah, I'll just walk' I replied over my shoulder as I closed the door behind me. Sadly it was going to be another day where even just the thought of having company made my skin itch.

Walking along the busy street that lead to my school, I worked on clearing my mind and preparing myself mentally for the day to come. The sound of cars and trucks passing by echoed in my ears and with each step closer to school that I took, the sounds of kids laughter and buoyant conversation helped block out any conscious thought.

Well it almost helped block out any conscious thought, because just like every morning, no matter what the distraction was the same mantra repeated over and over in my mind.

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be this version of me.

I want him.

I want to be with him.

I need to feel all of the pleasure and pain that went hand in hand when we were together.

'Fuck it' I muttered to myself as I slowed to a stop in front of the large wrought iron gates to my high school.

Sucking in a deep breath I plastered my stock standard fake smile on my face and slowly joined the boisterous and overly hyper crowd of students making their way inside.

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