Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE)

Chapter 42

* Catherine continued *

Laying in Jesse's bed replaying this mornings conversation over and over in my mind I found myself talking to Joe.

'Was dad right Joe? I whispered into the empty room. A tiny part of me hoping, like I always did, that he would somehow reply.

I closed my eyes as dad's words rattled around my confused mind.

It's ok to be happy.

Joe would want you to be happy.

As I continued to lay there my memories unwillingly drifted back to the first time I'd met Joe.

*** Flashback ***

I don't know how long after the vicious attack had finally ended that I had laid on the cold hard cement trembling, as tears streamed down my face. My mind couldn't comprehend what had just happened. I didn't know what time it was or even how badly I had been hurt. All I knew is that, thankfully, after the prick had gotten what he had wanted he had run off into the night.

Leaving me all alone, battered, bruised and broken.

After what felt like hours I finally decided to try and sit up. I didn't have any idea what I was going to do or where I was going to go but I knew that getting to my feet was a start.

Taking stock of my situation I noticed that thankfully my crop top and running shorts had only suffered a couple of tears and slices but if  I stuck to the shadows, the darkness of the night would hide those well enough. Looking over my clothes, or what now felt like a significant lack there of, my body started to tremble. It was only a few hours ago this outfit had made me feel confident in myself, in the strength of my body. Now when I looked down at all the exposed skin on show I felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed and weak. So pathetically, useless and weak. It was just another thing that bastard had ripped away from me.

I needed to move. I couldn't stay here.

'Get up, get up, get up!' My mind screamed at me, over and over and over.

Clenching my eyes tightly shut I tried to push myself up, but as I started to move I felt a sharp pain shoot through my ribs and stomach where he had kicked me. My head throbbed from having collided with both the pavement and his fists and as my body recognised the humiliating pain radiating between my legs a wave of nausea rolled over me. I turned and threw up every last thing in my stomach.

Taking several long deep breaths to try and push through the pain, I wiped my mouth and gradually pushed myself to my feet, taking it slowly to try and avoid another wave of nausea.

Nope.

I was quickly bent over heaving into the blackness, having completely emptied my stomach only moments ago I was left dry heaving. My throat burned and my eyes stung but I continued to heave over and over into the darkness, it was like my body was trying to rid itself of the unwanted intrusion it suffered hours earlier.

Having somehow finally managed to stand I started off down the jogging path, slowly putting one foot in front of the other with no clear thought on where I was headed or what I was going to do.

I just needed to get out of that alley. As far away as possible from what had happened there.

'Step. Breathe. Step. Breathe.' The simple mantra was set to repeat in my mind.

I knew I should call for help, I knew I should try and make my way to a hospital but after what had just happened I couldn't bare the thought of anyone else touching me or judging me. The thought of having to explain that moment, having to relive what had just happened caused my body to heave once more.