One More Try

The World Turned Upside Down

The first few weeks of the production were tough for everyone involved. Really tough. It wasn't the show itself or the team, but everyone felt the tension between the two leads, being around them for too long was unbearable. Jean couldn't find the right moment to talk to Reg and in addition to that, he seemed really cold towards her. He apparently hadn't forgiven her at all and she wondered whether Wilf had misunderstood or if it had been wishful thinking. The repeated rejection hurt, but she felt like she deserved it.
On stage, he went through the motions, singing her all those songs, pining for her character and so on, but his eyes were blank and empty, almost as if he wasn't feeling at all. Of course this wasn't true. Reg was having just as much of a hard time seeing her every day. Working things out just seemed so impossible.
It was almost October now and it pained Jean that Ophelia's seventh birthday was coming up and Reg didn't even know she existed. About a week before the birthday, she and Reg had a dancing lesson and character building afterwards, the director insisted because they still weren't believable on stage. Deep down, both knew that this was true so they didn't complain and decided to just get on with it.
It was a dark afternoon and already quite late when they finally walked to their respective changing rooms. Cissy was looking after Ophelia that evening and so Jean decided it was time to take her chance to speak with him. Now or never.
"Uhm... Reg?" She asked quietly but as it was only them in the long, dark corridor, he heard her perfectly fine. Reg stopped, turned around and she took a step towards him. Then another, until she was right next to him. She wanted to say something but her mind was entirely blank, so she kissed him instead. Not a stage kiss, but a real one. Her sudden boldness surprised her and Reg seemed perplexed too. He first kissed her back but then gently eased her away. She twitched as if he was about to hit her. She knew he wouldn't, more like an old habit from other relationships. He just stared at her as if he didn't know what had just happened. Her lips were burning.
"Reg... Reggie, please. Please don't hate me. I hurt you and I would deserve it, but I love you so much, you not wanting me and not loving me back is punishment enough." She whispered and started sobbing. This was not the kind of talk she had planned, she'd started talking without really thinking. Jean leaned against the wall. She'd messed up. There went her last chance at happiness and this realization just made her sob even harder. Then, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Jean..." She looked up. He was still there. And not just that, he was offering her a tissue.
"Reggie, please forgive me." she said. He said nothing. For a painfully long time he said nothing and they just looked at each other. Then he cleared his throat, trying to retain composure.
"I have forgiven you long time ago. But... Did you mean all this?"
"What exactly?" Jean looked up. His face didn't look cold anymore. He tried to speak clearly but his voice was breaking.
"That you love me?" Silence again. They both realised the gravity of what was happening.
"I mean it. Reginald. Reggie. I love you, I never stopped." It had taken her years to admit this but saying it out loud made it way more real. His answer surprised her.
"Neither have I." His face was in the shadows but she thought she could see tears in his eyes. This was remarkable as he was just like her, not someone to cry easily.
"You... You don't hate me? You love me back?" Jean couldn't quite grasp this new information, at least not coming from him.
"I do love you back. I have been a very lonely man the past seven years because nobody compared to you." Jean looked at him and he opened his arms. She stumbled into the hug and Reg held her tight. They were both crying now, Jean sobbed, Reg just quietly cried. And so they sat in the darkness. Holding on to each other as if they were drowning and somehow they were. After a while, they calmed down and Jean opened her eyes, almost scared that he would disappear, that this was all a dream. But he smiled and kissed her forehead, then he dried her tears.
"I missed you. Everything about you." he finally admitted. His coldness had been nothing but a clever charade to hide his true feelings from the world and himself.
"I missed you too." She replied. "And... I have another confession and... You will probably be very angry with me because it's a big deal." She took a deep breath. "When we got divorced, I was... Pregnant. With your child. Her name is Ophelia Catherine and she looks just like you, she will be seven in a week. I didn't tell you because... Honestly I wasn't sure if you would believe me. And then when I knew it was a girl and I wasn't sure if that was something you'd be interested in..." She started rambling while searching her purse for a picture"..but as I said she's seven in just a few days and so talented and smart and kind and... If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand that but please, I feel like you should meet your daughter." She gave him the picture, almost scared of how he'd react. Those were big news and the corridor was not the best place, but honestly, there were also worse places. He looked at the picture, then at her and then to the floor. For a while, he didn't know what to say. This changed everything.
"You know what's the worst?" He said after a while. "You're right. I wouldn't have believed that she was mine. But look at her. It's obvious. This is my daughter." He shook his head in disbelief.
"You don't hate me? Not even after this?" There was nothing left of the loud, dominant and confident persona Jean usually presented to the world.
"No. I am confused, this is a lot and I have to take it all in. But I am not angry and I don't hate you. Look, I know we're having a day off tomorrow but would you like to come to my place and talk? Maybe bring pictures of Ophelia and tell me about her? I'd love to meet her and when we meet, I want to be prepared." This wasn't the whole truth, of course Reg also was a little angry, but he knew making a scene wouldn't help them move forward.
"That sounds wonderful. Reggie, before we go home, could you maybe give me a little kiss? I have been going without for years." He kissed her gently, like he used to and she smiled, an expression of pure bliss on her face. She was beautiful when she smiled like that.
"I'll see you tomorrow then..." he said when they finally let go and he even walked to her car. There it was. A cautious, but persistent feeling of hope.