One More Try

Much Ado About Milan

New Year's Eve was even better than Christmas, Ophelia stayed up late, they watched the fireworks on TV and Reg had bought some for them to set off as well. Pheli was giddy, almost a little hyper from the fizzy drinks and the excitement, but soon after midnight she felt very tired and so Jean and Reg helped her get ready for bed and tucked her in. In the way out of her room, Jean noticed that the record Reg had given Ophelia for her birthday was still untouched and realised that Pheli hadn't listened to that particular record ever since meeting her father. She couldn't help but smile, of course, why would she need the recording when her dad was right there. Reg and Jean stayed up for a little longer, they decided to wrap up in their winter coats and sit in the cold and quiet garden. The darkness surrounding them had a certain quiet serenity and they both felt that there was something new and exciting in the air, far in the distance they could still hear muffled fireworks, but it didn't affect them too much. They just sat in silence for a while, holding hands and wondering what the future held for them.
"Reggie?" Jean whispered after a while and he looked up. "Do you think we're going to be happy next year?"
He sighed. "Jean, my love, I cannot guarantee you a lifetime of continuous happiness, as much as I want to. But I can guarantee you that I will do my very best to try and make you smile at least once a day." He kissed her hands, her fingers were cold as ice, so he warmed them between his hands.
"Reggie, that is more than enough. I am never going to be unhappy when I know I have you. It's just... are we going to be happy? As a couple?"
Reg smiled. "Yes, darling. Yes we are going to be happy." He genuinely believed that and Jean was relieved. An actual new beginning, one more try to make things right. She felt well and truly blessed.
January turned out to be a very busy month for them, they had to get Reg's house ready for the new inhabitants, sort his belongings, decide what would go into storage and so on. It pained Jean a little that someone else would live in the house that had been their dream home all those years ago, but she knew that moving there didn't make sense for them. At least not right now, because Ophelia was happy and settled in her school and neighbourhood and the primary school near Reg's house wasn't half as good as the current one. Maybe when she was old enough to change schools? It didn't matter, they had time and at the moment it was most important to consider what was best for their daughter.
They actually managed to move all of Reg's things before he had to go to Milan and hand over the keys to the lovely young couple renting the house. Jean had a very good feeling about them, the woman was a doctor, a surgeon to be exact and three months pregnant, her husband was a photographer but preparing to stay at home with the baby they were expecting. Jean felt a little sting, seeing someone living through all these amazing "firsts" together, but she was happy for them. And maybe she and Reg would get another round of magical firsts as well when the time was right. With such lovely thoughts in mind, Jean tried her very best to make the time before Reg's departure as enjoyable as possible for them as a family. They went on nice outings together and even though the press was there and taking pictures, Jean felt safe because she knew that Reg would always protect them.

The day of Reg's departure to Milan came quickly and in the morning, Jean had second thoughts about letting him go, away from them and to work with Anne Langley, playing lovers on stage. Not even the knowledge that Wilf would be there could put her jealous mind to rest, but she also knew that it was way too late to complain now, so she put on a brave face, not just for her or Reg, but also for her daughter's sake. They loaded the car with all of Reg's luggage and Jean drove them while Reg sat in the back with Ophelia.
She wasn't happy about her dad leaving at all and cried all the way to the airport. He tried to console her but it was all in vain. At the airport, Reg took her aside to speak to her while Jean was parking the car.
"Pheli, please don't be upset. I promise I'll come back." He said very gently and wiped away his daughter's tears, he hated upsetting her and he was very close to cancelling the whole trip, but he knew that it was practically impossible to do so.
"Daddy don't go. What if you meet someone you like better and don't come back to us?" For Ophelia, this was a serious concern. She wasn't proud of it but a while ago, when she had been getting a glass of water way past her bedtime, she had overheard her mother and Cissy talking about Anne Langley. She didn't know much about the issue, but she knew that Anne Langley was very pretty and also a star, not like her mum, but reasonably famous. So what if her dad decided that family life wasn't for him after all?
"That won't happen, I promise. I love you and your mum with my whole heart and I will miss you every day." He gave her a hug and held her tight, smelling the 'no tear' apple shampoo his little girl loved so much, combined with vanilla and just a hint of Jean's perfume. Leaving his daughter behind made him feel terrible, he knew that Jean would look after her, she was the more experienced parent anyway. But leaving his family behind made him feel almost like a criminal. Fathers shouldn't leave their children if it was avoidable.
"But who's going to read my bedtime story? Nobody does it the way you do it." Ophelia snuggled up to her dad, she was set on just not letting him go. Her words flattered Reg.
"I'll call you every evening, your bedtime is around my intermission." he promised. "I'll tell you all about my day and you tell me about school. Deal?" He smiled warmly, at least she'd stopped crying.
She shrugged. " Deal. It's just... I'll miss you, daddy. Mummy said we're going to visit you over the weekends but I am not sure..."
"That's true, you are going to see me every weekend while I am gone and we will have a little holiday together, isn't that special? So only five more sleeps until I can give you a big hug again." Another desperate attempt to cheer her up and it finally seemed to work, even though Reg had a very hard time pretending to be upbeat.
"I guess I can live with that." Ophelia was still a little sad and also hurt, but she trusted that her parents knew what was best. Jean had finally managed to find a parking spot and now entered the terminal. She had cried in the car, not for long, just so she could keep it together in front of her family. Reg looked at her and he felt like his heart was breaking. He noticed that she had cried and was just putting on a brave face for him. How selfless of her. He really didn't want to leave them.
"Come here, love. Let me kiss you goodbye." He said and Jean wrapped his arms around him. One last time. Reg gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll miss you." He whispered into her ear and she gave him a knowing smile.
"I'll miss you too, in every way." She replied and he knew exactly what she meant.
"I'll call you every night, I promise." His flight was called and Ophelia started crying again, she shortly considered a tantrum but she knew that it probably wouldn't do anything other than spoiling her father's farewell.
"Daddy no, please don't leave." She sounded defeated and sad. Reg gave her one last hug and a kiss.
"Five sleeps, little one. Trust me, it won't be long. Be good for Mummy, will you?"
"I promise."
Jean and Ophelia waved until he was out of sight. He was gone. It felt weird that suddenly things were back to the old normal. Neither mother nor daughter really felt like talking and so Jean drove them back home in silence.
Over the course of the afternoon, Pheli calmed down a little, but only after Reg had called to tell them that he'd arrived safely, she stopped fretting.
"I was worried his plane might crash. And that he'd never come back." She explained and Jean gave her a big cuddle.
"Oh darling, Daddy will always come back to you." That was one thing she knew for sure, Reg loved his daughter more than anything.
"To us. He's coming back to you too." Pheli insisted. She'd gotten used to Mum and Dad and didn't want to have just one of them.
Jean smiled. "I sincerely hope so. Because I love your daddy." She did love him, always had, always would.
"I know and I think he knows too, it's pretty obvious." Jean suddenly looked a little sad. She hoped that he knew. She still didn't feel completely safe in the relationship yet. It wasn't his fault, it was her own insecurities and she knew that this was her issue to work on, but that didn't really make her feel any better. Every woman he talked to was a threat to her and letting him go had been exceptionally hard. Yet, she knew that she had no right to be jealous and that she had to let him go, for the sake of a healthy relationship, so that's what she did. Little did she know that her jealousy would probably flatter Reg more than anything.
In the evening, Reg called Ophelia to say good night, just like he'd promised. She asked him lots of questions about the theatre and he patiently answered them all until she was almost asleep. Jean didn't get to talk to him, but that was alright, she knew that he was probably rather busy settling in.
However, when Jean was about to go to bed, the phone rang again. She quickly answered it because she didn't want it to wake Ophelia. Who would call her at this time of night, she hoped everything was okay.
"Hello?"
"Jean, dearest..." Her heart started beating faster, it was Reg. Why was he calling again?
"Reg, it's you again, I didn't expect you to call again, you must be spending a fortune on phone bills!" She wasn't good at hiding her excitement.
"Doesn't matter, I didn't get to speak to you earlier so I just had to call back. How are you, starshine?" He really missed her, even though he'd only left in the morning.
"Missing you terribly. I didn't think it would be that bad, but it actually is. And Pheli..."
"Shhh, I know about our little one." He interrupted her, it wasn't that he didn't care, but he wanted Jean to know that she was his priority. "Right now it's about you and me."
"Reggie, I wish you knew how empty and sad this house is without you. And how sad and empty the house's mistress feels." He chuckled. Jean was being a little overdramatic, but that's what he loved about her and he could definitely relate to the feeling of loneliness. The fancy apartment his agent had rented for him just seemed soulless without Jean sitting on the balcony, reading a magazine and Ophelia running around, exploring everything.
"I'm terribly lonely without you too. I can't wait for the weekend." He replied.
"How's Wilf holding up, he's always had a weakness for Italian girls." Jean changed the topic, she just had to ask because she knew Cissy trusted him blindly.
"He hasn't even looked at them, he's obsessing over Cissy, he's phoning her all the time." Reg laughed, he was happy for his best friend and knew that Cissy had been the push he'd needed to change his self-destructive ways.
"She wants to fly out tomorrow and surprise him." Jean confided in Reg.
"Oh thank goodness, because he was getting increasingly moody." What a relief, he didn't like it when Wilf was in such a bad mood and he had been a little worried that maybe a longer separation would prompt his friend to return to his old habits of drinking, partying and chasing girls.
"Reggie..." Jean started, she felt bad that she couldn't do the same for him.
"Hm?"
"I'm very sorry that I can't be there." Jean took a deep breath. "It's just with Pheli and school and such..."
"I know and I understand, Love. I don't mind." He said calmly and that reassured her. He did seem genuine. "I have to go now, sleep well, Darling." He blew a kiss through the phone.
"Good night, I love you with everything that I am." She replied.
"I love you too. I'll speak to you tomorrow." He hung up and Jean almost screamed in frustration. He seemed so near and was yet so far, it was torture. It just wasn't fair. He was supposed to be with her and Ophelia, not on his own, about to start rehearsals with her arch nemesis. She missed him, she wanted him back and she was much more upset about Anne's presence than she'd ever publicly admit.
Over in Milan, Reg wasn't too happy himself. Yes, he loved being part of the production, especially together with Wilf, but knowing that someone was waiting for him at home made him very impatient. He was also a little jealous that Cissy would be flying out to see Wilf, but he knew that it wasn't possible for his family. He wouldn't dream of saying something to Jean and make her feel bad, but it just was a fact that he would be way happier having his two favourite people around.
Reg stared at the phone, it almost seemed like it was mocking him, but Jean was probably asleep by now and he didn't want to wake her. He sighed and tried to get some sleep but he kept tossing and turning all night. It had all seemed okay when he was in London, but now he noticed how much he needed her near him. Moving in together had definitely been the right decision and he couldn't wait to get home.