One More Try

A Trip to Milan

While Jean was caught up in her new-old relationship and busy with birthday preparations, Cissy thought a lot about what she had told her. She knew the rumours and they had troubled her, Jean had probably noticed that, she had that gift of seeing through people. How kind of her to attempt to clear it up, even though it wasn't her own drama. And yet, Cissy probably wouldn't even mind if it were true. Her initial resolve of not falling head over heels for Wilf, her plan to be careful, considerate, level-headed and not rush into something serious too quickly, was forgotten.
And what about Wilf himself? Well he was still absolutely smitten with her. Sometimes when Cissy wasn't home, he called, just to hear her voice on the answer machine, that was one of his dark and embarrassing secrets. Having one or more secret children however was not one them, even Wilf Bond had principles and one of them was, that he abhorred children and would never have one. Unless... If Cissy were to ask him, which she hadn't done yet, maybe things would be different. He kept catching himself fantasize about her holding a baby or playing with a child, like she currently did with Jean's daughter. He also saw himself trying to feed spinach to that baby and change diapers. And the worst thing? It suddenly seemed desirable. What had she done to him? He was a little embarrassed that he had made such a drastic change, Reg sometimes teased him about it, but it felt right. Nothing had ever felt this right to him. He was settling down, but it didn't feel like settling to him, it felt like the beginning of a whole new adventure.
They attended Ophelia's birthday dinner which was a great success. It was wonderful to see their friends so happy. Wilf knew that Reg had struggled a lot after the divorce and seeing him back with Jean, who really seemed to try and be better, made him hopeful for the future. Jean's and Reg's daughter was a delight and it took a lot for Wilf to think that way. He was never mean to children and they usually loved him because he was fun, he just didn't really care much. But that kid, with Reg's face and Jean's hair and both of their mannerisms, well she wasn't the worst and actually fun to be around. It also helped that Cissy liked her, for he liked everything his girlfriend was fond of.
They left the dinner early, leaving the happy family to enjoy their night and went home to get some rest before their trip. Cissy was rather quiet but Wilf put it down to nerves. However when she still didn't speak much the next morning, when they were driving to the airport, he decided to say something, he was worried that something was wrong or that she was getting too worried about flying and wouldn't want to go on the trip anymore.
"Is everything alright, dear? You really don't have worry, the pilot is very experienced, I've known him for a long time." He'd never regretted having his own private plane but now it proved to be even more convenient.
"It's not that. It's just..." Cissy decided that honesty was the best policy in this case, she couldn't spend a weekend with him and not tell him what was bothering her, it seemed deceitful to her. "Wilf, there are these stories about you... Rumours about you, having children with other women. And I was wondering whether they are true. And so was Jean, so she hired a detective." Wilf looked at her, a little shocked. Shocked that these stories were still around and that they had made their way to her.
"We'll have time to talk about this during the flight. But for now... I just want to say that these stories are lies." They drove in silence and Cissy was worried. He was still being a complete gentleman, helping her out of the car and into the little aircraft, holding her hand because he knew flying made her anxious. But he didn't speak much and he didn't really look at her. She probably had offended her, how stupid she was. She had ruined their trip. When they were up in the air, he finally started talking. It had taken him some time to think about what to say because he wanted to give her no reason to doubt him.
"I'm very sorry these rumours have reached you, darling. That must be a confusing and hurtful situation. They aren't true though, I promise. I did have lots of affairs, that's true, but I always was very careful. Even I have limits." He sighed. "It all started when Reg rejected Anne Langley. She was angry and tried to get with me out of spite and when I rejected her too, we involuntarily created the perfect storm. The stuff about Reg died down quickly, his lawyer is better than mine but well..." He shrugged. He'd never particularly liked Anne, but now he was actually annoyed. The rumours hadn't affected him, he was above that, but he hated that they affected his Cissy.
"Are you angry?" Cissy asked quietly. She was still a little insecure, yet relieved that the rumours weren't true, not that she'd seriously doubted him anyway.
"Angry because Anne is being a manipulative cow? Definitely. Angry because you asked for the truth? Why should I. It's your right to ask and it's your right to know the truth. I should have told you before you had to ask. Honestly, I even understand why Jean hired that investigator. If I had a daughter I'd probably do the same." He looked at her. "Jean cares a great deal about you, angel. I don't know how you managed that, but I know she does." They both smiled. Wilf knew exactly why Jean liked Cissy so much and it warmed his heart to know that whatever happened, there was something who would look out for her.
"I am sorry I just sprung that on you." Cissy said softly, she was happy they had cleared the air.
"Communication is key, sweetheart. I'm glad we talked about it. And Jean's investigator will back me up." He kissed her hand. "I didn't even want children back then, you know?"
"Back then? You talk as if that has changed." She was curious now.
"It kind of has." He got very quiet and serious, not a trace of his usual jokester self to be seen. "If you wanted children, I mean hypothetically speaking of course, I'd be more than on board. You see, with you these things just make sense. Everything makes sense with you actually. All these songs we sing about tender love and fiery passion, they didn't make sense to me until I met you, I thought they were exaggerated for dramatic effect. And then you came along and suddenly they made sense and simultaneously seemed far too little to describe such big feelings. I was always playing role of being a fun, easy going guy with lots of ladies who is always good for a laugh, not just on stage. But with you I don't have to pretend that life is a joke the time..." He kept on talking and Cissy just listened while holding his hand. He seemed a little confused about the outburst himself and was noticeably voicing some thoughts for the very first time. "...so anyway, I would love to have children with you, but only if you want that too. I would love to marry you, not just as a joke. But even if you don't want marriage, I want to share my life with you and be devoted to you for as long as I live." He looked at her. He was different, suddenly he seemed vulnerable, soft and very serious. Cissy didn't know what to say, she was deeply moved.
"Wilf..." She kissed his hand.
"Cecily... My dearest darling..." He usually never used her full name and that made her heart dance.
"I love you, Wilf. And honestly, 'for as long as we live' does sound great." He looked relieved. "You look like you weren't sure about my reply. Didn't you know I adore you and did so from the very beginning?" She asked.
"I really wasn't sure, I mean, my behaviour wasn't always... Please, give me a kiss? Just a little one? It's still so long until we land and I can hold you."
"Goodness Wilf, you really are in love, aren't you." She laughed gently and kissed his cheek. The rest of the flight was more enjoyable than she would have thought because it was very calm and he held her hand during landing. Maybe flying wasn't that bad. At the airport he quickly sorted out their luggage and walked her to his other car.
"I didn't know you had all these things here in Milan. Almost like a double life." Wilf just shrugged, it was no big deal to him.
"I have a lot of jobs here, so I decided to build some kind of second home, nothing big, but cheaper than hotels and taxis when you consider how often I am here." He helped her into the car and drove to his apartment which was near the Scala in an old town house on the top floor. It was tastefully furnished and of course there was a piano in the living room. He brought their things up while she opened the windows because the air inside was stuffy and much too warm. It was still quite early in the day and so the air was cool and refreshing. She heard him close the door and come into the room. She turned around and saw him smile.
"Come, I'll show you everything!" He was obviously excited to be back in Milan and even more excited to be there with Cissy. He really did show her everything, they didn't return to the apartment until after dinner when their feet hurt and they were sweaty and dusty from wandering the streets of the town all day, rediscovering his old favourite spots and finding new ones. Cissy went to shower first and then waited for Wilf to finish. He was taking his time, she knew he cared a lot about his appearance, he was a little vain, so she went into the living room and started to play the piano. Suddenly she heard something behind her, but she didn't turn around. Cissy knew that it was just him, she recognised the way he moved and the faint smell of his aftershave.
"Wilf, dear, come closer." She said calmly and she didn't have to ask him twice. He bent down and hugged her tightly, she started whispering into his ear, things that only he was supposed to hear. How much she loved him. How attracted she was to him, all the things he liked to hear and he did what he did best when he was in her company, he began touching her and telling her how pretty she was, which was something she loved.
"Will you show me off to everyone?" She whispered. She wanted him to be proud of her.
"Yes. Tomorrow at the opera I will have the most beautiful date and everyone will know. Cissy, please... I know I did this before and it annoyed you but this time it's different and..."
"Yes, yes I'll marry you." She interrupted him.
"How did you know I was going to ask that?" He was perplexed.
Cissy laughed. "Oh Wilf, I know your proposal face and I know it used to annoy me. Besides it's been a while since the last proposal and I know you, dear. Now give your fiancée a kiss." Sometimes things just were so easy and that's how Cissy liked them best, easy and straightforward.
"Wait, I want to give you something first." He opened one of his bags that they still hadn't unpacked yet and took out the ring he'd bought for his first proposal.
"Wilf, it's beautiful." He put it on her finger, she was surprised by how tasteful it was. She recognised the box, Tiffany&Co., fancy.
"Not as beautiful as you. It's the first time I actually made it this far with proposing to you." As he seemed to be drifting into another long talk she just kissed him. No more words, just being happy. They had all their lives to talk about things. He was surprised but it was a pleasant surprise and he liked how assertive she could be, so he kissed her back.
They didn't sleep much that night, there was so much to do, so much to say. In the early hours, Cissy did get a little tired and stretched out on the bed. The first rays of morning sun shone through the window and illuminated her in a pale golden shimmer.
"Ciccy..." Wilf was fascinated, she looked like a statue, no, even better. Aphrodite had nothing on her.
"Yes?" He wanted to say something meaningful but suddenly he couldn't say anything, he was a little choked up, he just kept kissing her hand. Wilf just couldn't believe that she was his. How did he get so lucky?
"Hey..." She whispered. "Are you crying? Is everything alright?"
"I'm just so happy... How do I deserve you? I'm never lucky and now you're here and want to be with me and I'm... I'm just me. I was in a pretty bad place when we reconnected and you... well I think you saved my life."
"Darling, I didn't know, you should have told me. And I love just you. Give me another kiss, I never get enough of those." He kissed her again and she wiped away his tears. "Please don't cry. I don't want you to be sad." She said quietly.
"I'm okay, love. I'm quite alright." It was in that moment that Cissy decided to try and fall pregnant in the near future. He never spoke about his family, so she assumed he didn't have anyone except for her and Reg. Him talking about being in a bad place just confirmed what she was thinking. She'd give him a family and everything else he could possibly want. She would make him happy and do her best to make sure he'd never get to a bad place again. His vulnerable side was safe with her and so were all of his secret hopes and dreams. With that resolve she curled up for a nap and he held her close. She had no idea that by accepting his proposal, she'd probably saved his life. It hadn't just been a bad place, his reckless behaviour and his love for alcohol had damaged his body and especially his liver. He just didn't need to drink with her, she made him feel all giddy, lightheaded and excited without even a single drop of alcohol.
Their time in Milan was wonderful. On Saturday morning they had brunch and then Wilf showed her all the sights and took her shopping. They sent a postcard to Ophelia as they had promised her the night before. Cissy had never felt so special, she only had to look at something and Wilf would insist on buying it for her. Whenever someone tried to flirt with him, Wilf ignored them completely, instead he showered her with attention. In the evening he took her to the opera, the best seats in the house. There were reporters, and when they approached them he calmly explained that they would pose for one picture, but then he and his fiancée would like to enjoy the evening. The reporters were so perplexed that they agreed. Wilf Bond was engaged? Those were big news.
"I need to call Jean" Cissy whispered. "She will be so upset if she doesn't hear it from me." She felt bad that she hadn't thought of that before.
"That is probably a good idea. I'll sort something out and you can call her during intermission." Wilf promised.
"You're very kind to me, Wilf."
I love you. And I think I might have from the moment I met you, I just didn't realise it then." They took their seats and the show began. He loved watching her watch something she enjoyed. To him, this was the epitome of beauty. She relaxed and leaned back in her chair, all tension left her. During the overture she closed her eyes and seemed to lose herself in the music, then, when the actual play started, she seemed to be far away, in a different world. It was magical. Sometimes, she was like that on stage, but only for a split second. She was far too professional to let herself go like that while working. But now, her body was sitting next to him, but her soul was far away. Wilf couldn't take his eyes off her. Sometimes she mouthed passages she knew and her eyebrows twitched when she registered a wrong note, nobody else would have noticed but Cissy did. How he admired her, it almost hurt. Suddenly, someone in the box next to them sneezed and she returned to planet earth.
"Wilf, darling, you are missing the opera." She playfully scolded him when she noticed that he was staring at her.
I'm seeing everything I need to, love." He whispered back and they moved their chairs closer together so they could hold hands. During intermission, Cissy called Jean and told her about the engagement. Jean was reasonably excited for her, but reminded her of the private investigator and the still pending investigation.
"I know. Jean... I just wanted to thank you for always looking out for me, from the day we met and I was so in awe and..."
"It's no big deal." Jean cut her off, as if Cissy thanking her made her feel uncomfortable.
"It is. Nobody ever did. When I am back, we should have tea, just the two of us, I need to tell you some things and maybe then you'll understand." Cissy knew that opening up to her friend was inevitable and after all they had been through, it felt right.
"Sure. But until then you enjoy being engaged. Love and miss you and so does Pheli."
"Love and miss you too." Jean hung up and Ciccy returned to their box. Yes, for some reason, Jean had chosen her as a friend. And now Wilf wanted to marry her. For the first time in life she was someone's first choice.
"So how did she take it?" Wilf grinned. "Is she on her way to behead me or is she waiting for our return?" Cissy laughed.
"Don't be silly, she took it quite well. She's happy as long as I am." She kissed him. "So you better keep me happy. Speaking of which, Wilf, my chair is getting a little uncomfortable, do you think I could sit on your lap for the rest of the performance? I think that would be much more comfortable."
"Of course, dearest." He chuckled and sat down. When the lights went out she actually did come over to sit on his lap for a while and he played with her hair and held her tight. Pure, unadulterated bliss for both of them.

Their trip was over way too soon and back in London, she begged him to stay with her at her house and he promised he'd only go to get some more things from his house. Cissy waited impatiently. They had been in the newspaper and she knew from her agent that interview requests had skyrocketed. That made her very nervous, off stage she was rather shy. She didn't want to face all of this alone, Wilf had much more experience when it came to dealing with the media. It was raining, the roads were slippery and she worried about him. Only when she heard him open the door she could relax a little.
"That's two big bags." She said when he walked into the drawing room. "Are you staying for longer?"
"For as long as you want, dearest." He put the bags down and went to greet her. She kissed his cheek.
"You know, you could move in here, you practically live with me anyway." Cissy was half joking, but Wilf seemed like he had waited for her to propose this.
"I'd love that. And over the holidays and in summer we could stay at our manor in the countryside."
"Our...?" Cissy raised an eyebrow, what on earth did he mean. She didn't own a manor in the countryside.
"Bond Manor. You loved it so much when we spent some time there, remember? I'll have your name added to the deeds. Everything I have is yours too." He smiled warmly.
"Wilf... that is exceptionally generous of you, I don't know what to say. Listen, I have been thinking about some things that you said this weekend." He looked a little worried. "Oh no, nothing bad. Actually, quite good. Because I just wanted to say that I am not completely repulsed by the thought of having a child with you." That made him laugh a little.
"Not completely repulsed, that's a good start. How about next week after the premiere we look into that new project." he winked and Cissy blushed. A new project, that sounded great.
"I would quite like that."
"Cissy you have no idea what this means to me. I'm serious, I am just starting to realise myself how important all these things are to me." So much of the things he had felt and thought in the past finally started to make sense and that amazed him.
"Are we moving too fast?" Cissy asked, a bit of concern had crept into her voice but Wilf shook his head.
lThis is right, right pace, right time, right person. As long as you and I are happy, this couldn't be more right." Neither of them knew just how right they were being because whatever life was about to throw at them, they would continue to be just right for each other.