Confessions of the Fragile Heart

Chapter 26

I heard crying. Adalyn was wailing. I sighed and sat up. I was in my room. I could hear Adalyn's cries coming into my room from the hall. I stretched quickly and went down the hall to where the crying was coming from. Heather was rocking her. She saw me and quickly handed her over to me. I fed her and burped her. Heather let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll go make some bottles for her," I mumbled. I went down to the kitchen and made five bottles. I place them in the refrigerator. Denver came down with Adalyn a few minutes later. I smiled. Adalyn was busily sucking on her fingers. Denver kissed me quickly and sat next to me on the couch. I started channel surfing. I stopped on Nick Jr. Denver set Adalyn in her swing chair. She was quiet as she watched the show. I sighed and snuggled into Denver's side.

"When is the next shoot scheduled for?" I asked Denver. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. He shrugged.

"They said whenever you and Adalyn could come up to the set. They asked me to let them know a couple of days ahead of time. They say that they already have the script ready for the next two seasons," Denver explained. I nodded.

"When Adalyn turns one, do you still want to go back to Alera?" I asked. I opened my eyes and watched his reaction carefully.

"It would be nice," he smiled, "but we'll do whatever you want to do." I shook my head.

"No, this is your decision," I argued. "I've made all of the choices so far; you decide this." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"We can talk about this later," he mumbled into my hair. I closed my eyes again. I still wasn't fully awake. I stifled a yawn and listened to the TV's noises. We sat in silence for a minute as calm swept over me.

"You never answered my question from before you know," Denver said. I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean? What question?" I asked.

"When I asked you to marry me," he smiled. I smiled as well.

"And you're willing to deal with all of... this?" I asked surprised. He chuckled softly and intertwined our finger together. He squeezed my hand lightly.

"Of course," he smiled. "I already have."

"I'm already yours," I smiled. I kissed him gingerly. A knock on the door interrupted us. He sighed and rolled his eyes. I stood and answered it. It was Teddy. He had a reasonable sized tan teddy bear in his hands.

"Not really," Denver said to my comment. He leaned back against the couch and rested his head on his hand.

"Hey Leana," Teddy smiled. I smiled and rolled my eyes. It was just like him to make a joke out of his own name. I walked back to the couch. Teddy closed the door and set the teddy bear next to Adalyn. Denver smiled forcefully; good, he got the joke too. I could tell that Denver wanted to continue our conversation. I curled my legs underneath me and put my head back on to Denver's shoulder. Teddy sat on the other side of me.

"When do you think you'll be ready to continue the show again?" Teddy asked. I shrugged.

"When taking care of Adalyn gets easier," I started "and when she had a stronger immune system. Plus, whenever I can bring myself to get up in time." Denver and Teddy laughed at me. I heard a squealing laugh coming from the swing chair. I laughed as well and picked Adalyn up. She was smiling and laughing. I kissed her cheek lovingly.

"Are you laughing at Mommy too?" I smiled. I cradled her in my arms and watched her laugh. Everyone eventually stopped laughing enough to notice that Heather and my mom walked into the room. I smiled a welcome to them and turned my attention back to Adalyn. She had gotten a hold of my hair and was now tugging at it gently. She smiled so that her toothless mouth was showing. She tried to pull my hair into her mouth. I pulled my hair out of her fingers and pushed it to my other shoulder. My mom reached out for Adalyn. I handed her over and stood up. I made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. I ate it at the table in the kitchen. Teddy walked in and grabbed some orange juice. He sat next to me.

"Still choose Denver?" he asked quietly. I nodded and looked down at my omelet. I avoided his eyes carefully. "But you still love me?" I nodded slowly.

"He asked me to marry him," I mumbled into my plate. My back was straight and my eyes were down.

"Are you going to marry him?" Teddy asked, cautious of the ears sitting in the living room. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I haven't really been thinking about it," I answered truthfully. "He asked me again right before you came."

"You haven't given him an answer yet?" he asked surprised.

"No," I muttered. I stood and placed my dish in the sink. He followed with him empty cup of orange juice. He stood there quietly and watched me carefully.

"What are you thinking right now?" he asked.

"That you're making my life a lot harder than it needs to be," I muttered. I opened the refrigerator and gulped down a bottle of water. Teddy chuckled softly.

"Am I?" he asked sincerely. I nodded and sat back down at the table. He sighed and followed me back to the table. He leaned over and rested his hands on the table.

"Teddy, I love you, but I can't risk everything that took me so long to get. Every time you do this, I slip up. I end up falling for you all over again," I whispered. "I'm moving back to Ohio with Denver in a year probably, if not sooner. I probably will marry him. I'm not sure yet." He sighed and kissed my cheek slowly. My eyes closed in pain. I couldn't let him do it again.

"What's holding you back?" he whispered. My eyes tightened.

"You," I answered softly. He kissed my forehead longer than he normally did. My mind was already made up, but I failed Denver every time I was around Teddy. He left and I opened my eyes. Sighing, I got another drink and made my way back into the living room. I sat next to Denver. Teddy wasn't in the room anymore. I was handed Adalyn. She was crying when she reached my arms. Heather got a bottle out of the refrigerator and warmed it up. I fed her and burped her. Adalyn yawned. Denver stood and carefully rocked her to sleep. I went up to the room and laid down on my bed. I looked up at the ceiling blankly. I tried not to think about anything. Heather entered my room quietly.

"Teddy's gone," she said. I nodded.

"I know. I heard him leave," I said. "He'll probably be back tomorrow though." She shook her head slightly.

"No, I meant he's gone for good. He left for New York," she corrected me. I sat up and looked at her. "He told us before he left. Denver asked him to stay, but he refused. He said it was for the best. He said he couldn't be around you anymore. He said he was hurting you." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"He was hurting me?" I asked confused.

"He said you made your choice and he didn't want to interfere with it," she explained. "I'm sorry Leah." I shrugged and laid back down on my bed.

"I knew it would happen eventually. Plus, he's right. I made my decision," I sighed. I sat up quickly. "Why didn't he say goodbye to me though?" Heather sighed.

"He said that saying goodbye was too hard. He said that if he said goodbye, he would've wanted to stay even more than he already did. I guess he thought it was for the best," Heather explained. I thanked her as she left. "Are you going to be okay?" I reluctantly nodded. The truth was... I wasn't. I curled up on my side.