Confessions of the Fragile Heart

Chapter 27

Someone knocked at the door. The door creaked open.

"Adalyn's asleep," Denver's familiar voice said softly. I didn't move. He walked over to my bed and kneeled beside me. I looked into his crystal eyes.

"Teddy left," he said quietly. I nodded.

"I know," I whispered. He looked worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I leaned up and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him. Our lips crushed together. He kissed me hungrily. "Leana, you're... avoiding the question." He mumbled against my lips.

"I'm going to be fine," I muttered. "It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter." Denver hovered above me on the bed. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him on me. He kissed my cheek. He climbed off of me. I sat up confused.

"Leana, maybe later, you're not... stable right now," he said. I still looked confused. "Teddy?" He said. I shook my head.

"No I really am okay," I disagreed. He sighed and made his way to the door.

"I'm not stupid Leana. I know Teddy means a lot to you," he said stopping in front of the door. "I know you love Teddy too. That's why I asked him to stay. You would be miserable without him." I shook my head shocked.

"Denver you know that's not-"

"Like I said before Leah; I'm not stupid," he turned and walked out of the room. I sighed and threw a pillow at the wall. This was getting ridiculous. I threw my head down on the bed. Now, I definitely wasn't okay. I was completely restless. I sighed and walked back downstairs. Denver wasn't there. He must have gone back to his room. Heather was watching TV with my mom.

They both looked up to me when I walked down. Heather gave me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes and went to the kitchen. Heather came in a few moments later.

"Denver is... upset with me," I said softly. I began to make a sandwich. She nodded.

"I would think so," she answered nonchalantly. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"That's not funny, Heather. I'm serious. He said I wouldn't be okay unless Teddy was around," I explained. "That isn't true because I was in Ohio without Teddy and I was perfectly fine. Why is Denver making such a big fuss over him?" Heather stopped my hands.

"Why were you so angry and sad when your father cheated on your mom?" she asked. I stopped and looked at her. "Really, try to think of why." I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Because mom was always there for him and he went behind her back. It was like he didn't even love her anymore," I answered with eyes closed.

"Now, you have your answer," she said softly. I looked up at her confused. She sighed. "He probably feels like you don't love him anymore. He's always been there for you, and you went behind his back." She left the kitchen without another word. She was right, and I hated that. I went upstairs to Denver's room. I knocked quietly. There was no answer. I opened the door a crack. Denver was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands; his elbows resting on his knees.

"Denver?" I asked slowly. I was a little unsure of what mood he was in. Something was clutched in his hand. The bottle was open. A bottle of water was sitting on the floor. "Are you feeling okay Denver?"

"I'm fine, please just go so I can get this over with," he said. It sounded like he was giving up on something. Maybe he was giving up on me.

"Denver, what are you talking about?" I asked. I curiously walked over to stand in front of him. A handful of pills were on the bed next to him. "Denver you're not planning on taking all of those... are you?" He didn't answer right away. He kept his eyes down and avoided me.

"I already took some," he answered finally. I grabbed the bottle out of his hand, and took the ones off of the bed. He only took a few of them; thank God it wasn't enough to kill him. He looked up at me. His cheeks were tear streaked. His eyes were red. Tears stung my eyes. I hated to see him like this. I turned and set the bottle on the desk. I held on to the chair tightly to keep from falling. The tears spilled over out of my eyes. I closed my eyes tightly as my knees buckled. After I was sure I wouldn't fall over, I faced Denver again. I began to sob. Denver watched me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and leaned against the desk. I couldn't deal with this right now. I grabbed the bottle and darted out of the room. I ran straight to Heather. She was in a guest room. I threw the bottle at her feet. Heather stood and held me. I sobbed loudly.

"This is all my fault," I repeated over and over again. Heather shushed me quietly. "He tried to kill himself. This is all my fault." My body shook. I was falling apart. My life was falling apart. Maybe I shouldn't have moved around to start with. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten too attached to Denver. I should've left him alone. He was trying to kill himself and it was all my fault. I calmed down enough to look at Heather.

"He's just going through a hard time right now," Heather said trying to comfort me. "Just try to go talk to him." I nodded and wiped my tears away. I turned and went back to Denver's room. His head was still in his hands.

"You weren't supposed to see that," he said. His voice was strained. I sat next to him and took his hands.

"If I didn't see it, who was going to stop you?" I said softly. I controlled the tears and sobs that were on the verge of coming like a waterfall.

"No one," he replied. "That was the point." I shook my head and made him look at me.

"So you would've taken your life without a second thought to how that would affect everyone else?" I questioned. "Think of what that would've done to me. Teddy's one thing, but you? I probably would've killed myself too. Denver you mean too much to me."

"That's just you," he said softly.

"What about Adalyn?" I asked softer. He looked down at the floor. "Think of what it would do to her if she grew up knowing that her father committed suicide... I'm so sorry Denver. This is all my fault." I choked out the last sentence. He shook his head.

"Please, don't blame yourself for this," he said quickly.

"But it was my fault," I corrected. "I went too far this time. Denver, I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"You're not hurting me. I love you Leana," he said. I shook my head again and let my hands drop to my lap.

"I am hurting you. Denver I don't want to hurt you; I never want to hurt you," I said hoarsely. "I'm so sorry." Denver put his arms around me. I buried my face into his shoulder.

"No Leana, don't cry. It's not your fault. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry," he comforted me. I shook in his arms. How did this happen? He was the one about to kill himself, yet he was comforting me. He shushed me quietly.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his shoulder. He kissed my forehead. This was all backwards. He shouldn't be comforting me right now. I didn't care though; I needed comfort right now. I leaned into him heavily. His arms tightened around me. I shed silent tears.

"It's okay Leana," he repeated again and again. I finally stopped shaking. I looked up at him.

"You really scared me Denver," I said. "Please don't ever do that again." He quickly nodded. I hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry Leana," he mumbled. I nodded and kissed his cheek.

"It's okay," I said. He laid under the covers and closed his eyes. I stood and headed for the door. I hesitated and turned back to Denver.

"Come sleep with me tonight," I said. His eyes opened and he nodded. I held his hand on the way to my room. I quickly dressed for bed. Denver was waiting for me on my bed. I crawled into the bed next to him. I laid on my side. His arm came around my waist. He held me tightly to him. Slowly, he kissed my cheek. I turned around to face him. I kissed his lips gently. His arms pulled me closer into him. He deepened the kiss. I relished every moment, grateful that he was still here with me.