Bloody Hell

Chapter Bloody 19

As I was combing my mullet over to cover the bald spot, my eyes darted to something in the mirror. It was a little brown smudge moving on the wall.

Due to further inspection, I realised it was a bloody cockroach. Due to this realisation, I screamed and ran out of the bathroom doing my 'bloody hate lyf and the wurld jesus christ on a stick' walk to avoid touching it.

I did this until I got outside, where I proceeded to set my caravan alight.

That bloody cockroach ain't coming back now.

As respect, I gave the now dead cockroach and my burning house the forks.

It was now two weeks till that rogue attack and I had recently gotten a part-time job at the local bloody IGY.

My boss was the worst human being you could ever encounter besides myself. She looked exactly like me too, so everyone mistook her for me.

What a bloody insult.

I remember the other day that she was on a ladder doing god knows what, and failing at whatever it was.

So this guy that works there too went over to help her.

She was the biggest failure I had ever met in my life and I wanted to 360 noscope her in that moment so much.

To calm this hate rage, I just 360 noscoped some other customer who looked like Tony Abbott.

At least I did something good for this country.

As I walked out, with everyone looking at me, I realised that my job now was to lead Australia into the future. To lead Australia probs into the ground, but nonetheless into the future.

Bloody hell I'm a legend.