My Love, My Life

We Laughed...

Zuris P.O.V (Ooh,a new person!)

How could this be happening? My father, got shot! What am I supposed to do now? I seriously can't live without him! I sighed as Jamal asked, " Are you okay Zuri?" I said, " I don't if my dad's gonna be okay..." He said," Let's just hope..." I said, " Okay. Let's go to Theodosia. " He nodded as I pulled on my shirt as I made sure to see if my hair was okay. I pulled it into pigtails as I did my edges and sighed grabbing Jamals' hand as I marched to Theodosias dorm. I felt scared, worried, and just...angry. whoever shot my father, will definitely wish they were never alive. When someone messes with my family, they're going down. I sighed as we finally arrived as I saw Kenya, Destiny and Angie marching to her dorm too as we all burst in as Theo opened the door right when I knocked. She jumped aside to let us in. She asked, " Y'all okay?" I said, " My dad got shot! " She widened her eyes. I felt sad but knew I  couldn't show it. Nobody can see me cry or anything. I sighed, I already lost my sister, I'm not losing my father too, Theo asked, " Well, what are we going to do?" I asked, " We? I'm doing this alone. I'mma find the killer and kill him." Jamal looked at me worried as I sighed. I said," I lost my sister, I'm not losing my daddy too." Kenya asked, "Where is yo Momma?" I said, " At the hospital with him. " Theo said, "Well, go see him!" I said, " My Momma won't let me. She said I'll freak out." Theo said, " Sit down." Everybody sat down as I sat in Jamals lap as he rubbed his hands up and down my stomach as I sighed since I breathing hard and fast. My stomach was a mess, I was having a terrible headache, and I feel terrible. Theo handed me a cup of water as I chugged it down. Theo sighed. We were all quiet as Jamal said, " Well, how's life guys?" Theo said, "Hard." Kenya said, " Well, I got two As on my essays in English." Angie said, " I'm first chair in music class." Destiny said, "I'm the captain on the dance team." I sighed as I got up walking to the bathroom as I stared at the sink and looked at myself...

What to do...hmm.... I sighed looking at myself as I felt the urge to throw up as I immediately leant over the toilet as I began to purge. "Zuri? You okay girl? Zuri...." I continued to purge as I felt a hand on my back as I heard Jamals voice. He said, " Let it out babe...." I finally finished purging and seemed satisfied. I honestly had to get rid of this stomach fat....I miss my high school self. I cleaned up as I used Theos listerine. I finished and observed my body as I still had a small amount left. Jamal asked, " Umm....are you...?" I asked, "What?" Jamal said, "do you...have anorexia?" I gulped. It's been my secret for like...ever. I said, " Uhmmm...." Jamal grabbed my hand as we went back to out dorm. Jamal closed the bedroom door sitting me on the bed as he asked, " Is there something you aren't telling me?" I said, "Um..yeah." He said, " Are you hurting yourself?" I nodded again as he asked, " Do you have anorexia?" I nodded again. He squatted down in front of me asked, " What are you doing to yourself?" I sighed fiddling with the hem of my jeans said, " Well, whenever I eat something and if I eat to much, I purge it out. Y'know, I stick my finger down my throat and...yeah. I just have to get this fat off of me. My dance teacher says I can't dance until I do." Jamal said, " But...I can see your rib cage. I think your good now. And I don't want you doing that anymore. Does your Mom know?" I said, " No. She has stuff to worry about herself. With Dad, and her job...She doesn't have to hear my problems. Besides, she's pregnant. " Jamal said, " Well, how can I help?" I shrugged said, " I don't know." Jamal said, " Well, you have to eat something. It'll make you feel better. And, your weight is going down at a level it shouldn't. C'mon." I sighed and let him pull me along. He sat me down as he handed me a bowl full of my favorite crackers and handed me a cup of milk. He sat in front of me and watched as my lips began quivering as I didn't want to eat. I sighed. It's bad enough that my Dad is probably dying... now this? Jamal said, " C'mon. Try." I looked down at all of it. I didn't want him to feel bad but I didn't want to eat anything either.... I said, " I can't...I'm sorry." I got up and walked outside, as I brushed my tears away and ended up in the park. I watched the lake as I sighed as I heard marching in  the distance. I cried hard as I placed my hands on my head and looked at the sky. Those stars. There so pretty. Even stars are prettier than me.

I sighed as I sat on a bench and felt the urge to throw myself in the lake. That was not a good idea that's for sure. I brushed more tears away as I let out all my emotions. I always came to the park to do this. I watched everyone as I saw a couple kissing on a nearby bench. I wish I let Jamal do that with me . I'm just afraid of showing him who I am...he'll be disgusted. But...oh whatever. I looked in the distance. This world...is it real? Am I real? What if this is all just one big dream? Can I end it? Nope, I don't think this is a dream... I sighed as I got up and walked back to the dorm as I crept into my dorm and saw Jamal sitting at the table still as I saw him begin to cry. It's all my fault. I hate seeing him cry. I gulped as I came back. Jamal looked at me as he reached for my hand timidly. I grabbed ahold of it as I sighed. He said, " Please...let me in..." I stood up as he did too. I pulled him toward me as I said, "I'm sorry. I'll try...." He said, " You need a therapist first." I asked, " Why?" He said, "They'll help you out of that mindset. Trust me. Mt sister did the same thing." my mouth flopped open. Kenya? She was a anorexic? Jamal said, " Yeah, she was. " I sigehd said, " Oh." I sat back down as I pursed my lips as I timidly grabbed a cracker, sniffing it as I hesitated looked at Jamal he silently encouraged me to try. I sighed and forced it into my mouth growing in delight. I sighed and drank some milk. Jamal smiled as I pursed as he said, " You have no idea how proud I am of you." I smiled weakly as he said, " How do you feel sweetie?" I gulped and looked at my shoes said, " A little bit better." Jamal said, " Well, I'm so proud of you. " He gave me a hug as he kissed my forehead as he began to walk but I said, " Wait," He said, " Hm?" I ran to him accidentally knocking him down as I fell on top of him but I didn't care. I gave him a long gentle kiss as he was surprised then kissed me right back. This was our first kiss.....