Ashes Blow Away

Chapter Six

~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter Six: Many Things Happen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Why did you let him come?" I hiss under my breath, scrubbing a plate.

My mother raises an eyebrow at me. " Why should you care, Katniss? I thought you'd made your choice."

" I have, I have! I just, don't need Gale here complicating things."

" Wh-"

I slam the clean plate down into the sink. " Look, I've made my choice! I just don't want Peeta upset right now, and I don't want Gale here!"

I realise too late how loud my voice is. I cringe when I hear the low, steady foot steps of Gale.

" I can go home, Katniss."

" Gale-" I say, spinning round, but I find myself unable to continue. Should I tell him to go? Or let him stay?

He holds his hands up. " Katniss, I know my place. If you want me to go, I won't hold it against you."

" It's not that," I say. " It's just, Peeta and I are a couple now, and I know how you feel about me-"

He laughs. Actually laughs out loud.

" You don't think I still love you, do you?"

" No!" I say quickly. " I just, I don't want things to be awkward between us. You're my best friend."

" Not anymore, he is now." he says.

I know Peeta can hear everything we are saying and I also know that he is probably waiting on my response.

" But, you were first," I whine quietly.

Gale smiles warmly. " But he's here for you now."

When he comes over to kiss my forehead, I don't object. I just concentrate on the warm feeling of his lips on my skin.

" I'll stay at Haymitch's tonight and then catch the train home tomorrow. It was nice to see you all. I'm glad you two are together; you deserve each other."

I don't deserve Peeta, I think, or you.

Gale heads into the family room to say his goodbyes. When he has left, my mother wraps her arms around me in a tight, wordless embrace.

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I lay with Peeta later that night, crying silently, trying not to let him see. Before the war, before losing Cinna and Boggs and Finnick and Prim, I was stronger. Able to love both Peeta and Gale.

Now it is just Peeta. And what bothers me is I don't know if I'm in love with the old Peeta or the new Peeta. I've changed too, I think, maybe the new us is just better at being together.

" What are you thinking about?"

His voice makes me jump.

" You," I whisper.

His head shifts to look at me. " Don't lie. I thought we were passed that by now."

" I'm not lying," I tell him truthfully. " I really was thinking about you."

This throws him. " Oh," he says. " What about me?"

" Just," I start, " Peeta, do you think we would still be together if we hasn't been reaped?"

" I can't say for sure," he says.

I turn away from him. After a moment, his hand wraps around my waist and he kisses my cheek.