Ashes Blow Away

Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: CHASING EVIL AWAY

This is not okay. This is not okay. Not okay.

That is all I can think when the first contraction seizes me, and when I cry out and clutch my stomach. All I can think about when Peeta rushes in and lifts me into his arms.

" Where should I-"

" Bedroom!"

He does so without anymore words, placing me onto our bed. Oh, God. Why is this happening now? I can't do this now. We were supposed to leave tomorrow, supposed to be in the Capitol when this happened.

" Phone Dr A!" I exclaim.

Out of all the pain I have ever felt, this is the worst. Aren't I supposed to have medicine for this? But we don't have any, the hospital in the Capitol does, but we-

" Please!" I cry.

Peeta jumps to action, then, firing down the stairs. He returns soon after, but he is not alone. Haymitch.

No. No way.

" What the hell!?" I shout as they enter the room.

" Nice too be so appreciated, sweetheart," he chuckles.

I glare, turning my head to Peeta and shaking it. " No way."

Peeta sighs, and we might be thirty-four, but right now he could be a child. " Katniss, I can't do this alone."

I sigh loudly in defeat. " Fine. But-" then I whimper as another contraction slices through me.

Peeta is dialling a number into the phone in his hand. He holds it to his ear, and then begins to talk.

" What's he saying?" I ask Haymitch.

He shrugs. " Dunno, and I certainly don't care."

" Are you drunk?" I ask, glaring.

" No."

" Ohmygod, you're drunk!"

" So?"

" You're delivering my baby drunk!"

Haymitch glares, opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off by Peeta, who has apparently left the room at some point because he is carrying a damp towel in his freshly washed hands.

" Katniss," he says. " I'm going to ask you to push."

" What? Why?"

" Because Doctor Aurelius says-"

I cry out in pain as another contraction slices through me. Peeta looks up at Haymitch with wide eyes. He's scared for me. He shouldn't be. I-

" Fine," I agree. I carefully wiggle out of my bottom half of clothing, glaring at Haymitch. He just winks at me and I stare at the ceiling. " Ha-"

" Now!" Peeta interrupts, and at first I am confused, but then the contraction slices through me. Peeta takes a seat next to me, holding my hand helplessly and telling me I can do it.

So I do it.

I push. We count. I push. We count. My eyes are heavy and my vision is blurred, but I push and we count. The pain is terrible, but I do it anyway, because deep down, I know I can.

Just when I'm about to scream that I can't do it anymore, I hear it, my baby cries.

" One more time," Peeta says, his voice cracking with the emotion that betrays him.

I push again. I push and I push and I push until Peeta let's out a cheer and the cries grow louder.

I crane my neck to see the tiny baby in Peeta's arms, totally spent. It is a girl. I can tell on first view.

My body floods with a kind of warmth I haven't felt since my wedding day. I know what it is. Devotion. Total devotion to my baby girl.

" Please, can I hold her?" I whisper.

" Sure," Peeta says, passing her to me gently.

She fits in my arms nicely as I cradle her, and I let out a little "oh" as I see her for the first time. Haymitch leans over my shoulder to get a good look at her.

" She's a pretty one, Katniss, just like you."

I turn my head and see Haymitch. Really see him. And he is crying. I don't think I've ever seen him cry before.

" Here," I say to him. " Hold her, Haymitch. Please."

He gingerly takes the little girl from me and I see his face light up lovingly. I smile slightly as I watch them, realising Haymitch needed a baby just as much as Peeta and I did.

" Here," he says, handing her back. " I, ah, I have to go."

I almost laugh at Haymitch's unwillingness to show his emotions.

He is gone before I can say goodbye, before I can thank him. Peeta smiles at the spot our old mentor was standing in not five seconds ago and smiles, then crawls up the bed beside me. He throws a blanket over my lower half and kisses our daughters head, before kissing my lips.

" She's beautiful," she whispers as we pull away. " Perfect."

" So, so perfect," I agree, nodding my head.

We sit there for several moments just staring at her, in awe for her. Then she starts to fuss and Peeta reminds me that she's probably hungry. I remember having this conversation with Dr A and do what he says, still staring at her ask she drinks.

Peeta gets up eventually and returns with two mugs of tea. I remember a time many years ago when he made me tea.

I begged him to let me die. To kill me. He refused.

He knew I had something to live for.

" Thank you," I whisper as he hands me my mug. He seems confused at first but then he too seems to take in the scene, and nods his head. Not a "your welcome" nod, not an "I was right" nod, just a nod. I sigh happily as his lips touch my nose.

I've been stupid. All my life I have been looking for a belonging, a purpose. It turns out my purpose was to live, to survive. Isn't that what we all need? We give up so easily. I gave up so easily. But, there are those rare people. Those people who pick you up when you think you can't get up, those people who love you unconditionally.

For me, that person is Peeta.

Surprisingly, I don't think about Prim or Finnick or Rue or any of the people who are already gone. I think about the people who are alive and have nothing. And I feel sorry for them.

I look at her, and I sing.

" Deep in the meadow,
Under the willow,
A bed of grass,
A soft green pillow."

Peeta is silent as I sing, watching intensely.

" Lay down your head,
And close your sleepy eyes,
And when again they open,
The sun will shine."

I take a long, shaky breath, pushing down the lump in my throat and trying to ignore the memories of the many times I sung this to Prim and Rue.

" Here it is safe,
Here it is warm,
Here the daisies guard you from every storm.
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true,
Here is the place where I love you."

My hand finds Peeta's own as we stare down at the baby in my arms. Yet to be burned. I will make sure she is never the girl on fire.

But she can be the girl who put the fire out.

" Can we name her Everly?" Peeta asks suddenly.

" Everly?" I say, trying it out. " Everly. Everly."

" Yeah," he says, " Everly."

And it just sounds right. I don't know why, but it just does.

I whisper her name. " Everly Mellark."

It is perfect, just like she is.