I'll Stay Till Sunrise || Jolex

Rhythm and blues

"No, it's fine. We still have a half hour before you need to be in for work." Alex replies clearly not getting the hint that I mean a different kind of late.

"No Alex. My period. I haven't had my period since before you came here. It's not very regular but I usually only miss one month. Being this late is not normal for me." 

I see his face turn from confusion to shock. He looks at my stomach then back at me, still proccessing the idea that I might be carrying his baby..again. 

Why does this keep happening? I got pregnant and a few weeks later he leaves me. A few years later we hook up at a hotel, 40 weeks later I give birth to Robin. We hook up again and guess what? I might be pregnant again.

This can't be possible can it? I mean, I'm not that young anymore. I would've thought we'd need to try a few times to conceive a baby. 

"Oh, Alex. What do we do?"

"Let's go to the hospital and take a blood test to confirm if you really are pregnant or not."

"What if I am?"

"We'll figure it out."

I don't know what it is about that statement that makes my blood boil but it does. I try to bite my tongue but it doesn't work and words come crashing out of my mouth. 

"WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT?! GREAT I FEEL SO REASSURED!  EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE? I WON'T BE RAISING THREE KIDS ON MY OWN. EVERYTHING WILL BE FUCKING GREAT!" I shout, sarcasm dripping from my words.

Alex looks genuinely shocked. He tries to say something but the words don't leave his lips. He opens his mouth and closes it again. He doesn't know what to say. 

Tears start to stream down my face. I can't do it again. I can't do it alone. Two children are enough for me. I cover my mouth with my hand and sob. Flashes of how much I needed Alex throughout both pregnancies fill my mind.

"I-I can't-t do it again, Alex." I stutter. 

My knees give out and all of a sudden I'm sitting of my daughter's bedroom floor with my legs curled awkwardly underneath me.

Alex lowers himself to the ground and sits beside me. Lifting up his arm and rapping it around my shoulders, he says, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

I nod and wipe my tears from my face and wisper, "Can you please pass me a tissue?"

....................................................

After my mini meltdown I washed my face so it didn't look like I had been crying. Alex and I got the kids ready for school and daycare. We drop our girls and Link off then head our own ways for work.

"Jo! Goodmorning! Here's coffee!" Amelia Shepherd bounces up to me and forcefully shoves a cup off coffee into my hands.

"Mm goodmorning. Thanks for the coffee." I say but my mind isn't focussed on my friend and she notices that real quick.

"Uh what's on your mind?"

"Hm what? No, nothing." 

The head of neuro gives me the I know you're lying look and grabs me by the arm, pulling me into an empty exam room.

"Explain! Righ now! What's wrong?"

"IthinkImightbehavingalex'babyagain." I mumble in reply.

"I couldn't understand a word of that. Say it again, a bit louder please?"

I sigh. "I think I'm pregnant with Alex' baby, again." 

Amelia stares at me, her eyes growing wider. Then finally says, "Oh Jo, did you take a test?" Her voice is full of pity and it's pissing me off.

"No, I haven't taken a test. Can we drop the subject now?"

"Then let me run a blood test, okay?" she says while she pulls out a needle.

..................................................

The rest of the day I pretend nothing happened and I might not be pregnant. I had two back to back surgeries, both went very well which made my day a bit better. 

Alex and I meet outside the hospital to wait for Amelia and the results. My heart is pounding. I love my girls, I really do but I can't handle another surprise pregnancy.

My breath hitches as I see Amelia walk out of the door with a piece of paper in her hand. Alex leans in gently to show that he's still here. Breath, Jo. Breath. I wisper to myself.

Amelia stops in front of us and looks down at the results she's holding.

"Well guys, it looks like you're....."

Whoops sorry for the cliffhanger guys! You'll have to wait till the next chapter for the results. Tbh I still don't know if I want her to be pregnant rn or not.

I am so sorry for the long wait and the terrible chapter. I have a bit of a writers block but I promise I will not leave you hanging forever. This book WILL get finished.

edit: I spotted a few typos so I fixed them but there are probably more.