Sprite - Monster || A BTS Crackfic

Green

The contents of the green bottle was greening him out.

He sat on the dance floor, multiple green bottles surrounding him.

He grabbed one of them and downed the liquid inside it and threw the empty bottle across the dance floor. He then grabbed another one to drink from and the cycle continued for hours.

He sat there, unable to move.

He kept muttering that he was a can of soda. Sprite to be specific. He said he was afraid of spilling over the carbonated drink inside of him. In reality, he just needed to pee out the unholy amounts of soda he had just consumed.

He was profusely sweating. He felt nauseous and his heart beat was abnormally fast.

He felt like he was gonna die at any moment now. He didn't want to die, he was still young and he still had to confess to his crush, Sprite.

If he was gonna die right now, he wanted to die happy, so he grabbed another bottle of sprite, believing that it would make him feel better, but little did he know that it would make him feel worse.

Now he felt green, both physically and metaphorically. Physically, he wanted to throw up. Metaphorically, he felt green with envy. He was jealous of LeBron James who was cast in the "Wanna Sprite" Super Bowl Commercial. It simply wasn't fair. Why was LeBron given the opportunity of making the ad? Wasn't Nike enough? Moreover, why did he have to feature in multiple Coca-Cola and Chilsung ads? He hated them, but his entertainment company forced him to participate or they would ban Sprite.

Clearly, this boy had an addiction.

He constantly drank Sprite.

All of his outfits were Sprite themed.

His house was filled with Sprite merch.

He took his showers in Sprite and always smelled of Sprite.

He cleaned his contact lenses in Sprite.

He marinated his chicken in Sprite.

His sweat tasted of Sprite.

His stomach juices had turned into the citric acid contained inside the Sprite.

Even his farts had the aroma of Sprite.

He never ate or drank anything but Sprite.

Sprite this, Sprite that, Sprite EVERYTHING.

Now, He was singing to his Sprite bottles.

He sang DNA by BTS, the band he himself was in.
"The  citric acid in my blood vessels tell me
That it’s you I was looking all over for!"

He sang Green by Cavetown.
"You look so good in green
I hope you're well
And you look so good with me
And I'm in love with you still
I love your perfect taste
I am a lemon boi
I hope you feel happy
That's all I want
That's all I want"

The door to the dance studio swung open. Some laughter and rapping of some homo sapiens was heard. They walked into the dance room and spotted him in the corner of the room.

Jin screamed at him.

"WHEN WILL YOU LEARN, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!?"

There he sat, looking as green as Mike Wazowski, eyes closed, muttering something along the lines of "I love you Sprite."

"Did he coat himself with some chlorophyll?"

"Namjoon, remove those fucking sunglasses of yours, we finished the 'No More Dream' era! Look around clearly, he drank too much Sprite! And for the love of God, please stop rapping everything you need to say"

"I know Jin hyung, I was just joking, and don't make fun of my sunglasses."

"I just told you not to rap and this is nothing to joke about Joon, he looks like he is turning into bloody shrek!" Jin yelled.

A few snickers could be heard.

"To all the maknaes... Stop laughing, he is not okay, shut the fuck up and help me find a remedy."

Chaos was slowly starting to unfold before Jin's eyes.

Jimin started singing Jamais Vu.

"Hyung, why are you even worried, he looks like he will turn into hulk and start smashing shit up! We would witness a live action movie but it's not a movie and a hundred percent free!" Taehyung said while jumping up and down enthusiastically.

"Well,when life gives you lemons - make sprite." Jungkook vine referenced.

"Yoongi, you are the only sane one here please help m-"

A howl of pain could be heard. He started to grow in size. He did not look human anymore. He started to resemble the Grinch who stole Christmas.

"Sprite?" He asked.

"H-hoseok?" Jin stepped back in shock.

He was Hoseok.

But now, after transforming, who was he?

Who was he?

"Wait a minute, Who are you?" Jungkook vine referenced again.

Sprite Man.

He  was now Sprite Man.