His Nepenthe | complete

10. Hold

H O L D Y O U R B R E A T H

*

I could feel sleep prodding at my brain, trying to force my eyes to close. They drooped a little, making my head nod forward ever so slightly.

I took a deep breath in, deciding to focus on the scenery as it flashed by, thinking of the lyrics of the music playing in my ears. I just needed to stay awake now.

The bus stopped, letting people on and off, letting them get along with their lives, get back to their loved ones.

I didn't mind taking the bus. It really wasn't all that bad.

I took it often when I felt like this, and I had to get out, but I didn't trust my hands behind a wheel.

I was tired, and driving tired causes accidents. In those accidents, it wasn't up to me whether it was my heart that stopped beating or the person unlucky enough to meet the fate I begged for myself.

By this point, I was beyond tired, and needed coffee desperately, but we didn't have any.

Perfect luck, right?

I put an alarm on my phone for twenty-five minutes, reminding me when to wake up and get off the transportation. I rested my head against the glass window, letting my eyes slip shut.

It wasn't long the darkness turned to a dark hue of water at my feet, ripples lapping at my clothed ankles.

When I lifted my head, I saw a vast lake, with forest painted around the sides. I was in the middle, on top of a sand bar.

The familiar sound of laughter echoed hauntingly from behind me. My movements were slow - delayed- as I watched the young boy run as he always did in my dreams.

That same fucking smile on his face.

He couldn't die from running here, could he? Wasn't it safe?

Weren't those buildings supposed to be safe?

The mother was in her usual state - eyes hidden behind thick rimmed black sunglasses and cameras flashing. She watched the boy dive into the water, swimming further out and splashing in joy.

It was peaceful - as peaceful as these nightmares got - as the ripples formed wakes around his small body.

Then he sunk. Just as he was swimming, he was dragged into the depth by some unbelievable force, leaving no resonating trace of him. His dying laughter echoed around me as my heart beat screamed in my ear.

A beat.

Two.

Three.

"He isn't coming up," my words were hardly a mumble.

The mother gave me a curious look with a snobbish laugh, "Who?"

"What?"

My word hardly felt like a breath as I ran into the water following the boy who was drowning. I could run, finally, and I held my breath as I dove deep into the cloudy lake. My lungs held somehow, as I continued to push my way through a force that was trying to send me back to the sunlit surface.