nepenthe
nɪˈpɛnθiːz/
noun
something that can make you forget grief or suffering.
*
Everyone needs something to take the pain away every so often, and for him, that was her.
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B A N D A G E D H A N D S
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I ensured I left school later than Brandy. I didn't need her so close to me in my endeavour to the gym, and I certainly didn't want to speak to her.
Why?
Number 1: The words she said to me last week when I had another nightmare was so fresh in my mind, and number 2; I just didn't want to speak to her at all. She was too persistent and it irked me.
'well, how do you do?
a kiss on the cheek.′
I did my best to focus on my route, heading straight to the bags and wrapping my knuckles before I could think twice about watching the elegant dancer in her solitude.
'it's been a while,
so I'll just beg, borrow,
and steal all your time,′
My music was pounding into my eardrums as my fist reached the leather, a screaming feeling of apathy and splitting feeling reaching my knuckles. I didn't wrap them properly anymore, I didn't fear broken fingers or bloody bruises.
'we'll call it "dignified".
well now it all seems to be cut and dry,
so i know which way to run.′
My heart beat in my ears along with the building chorus, drums kicking my body into action against the inanimate object.
'you're tired my love, i feel the same.′
I didn't like hurting people, not really. I had, when I was a few years younger - rowdier and energised by pain.
My fists were much faster than his, my head cloudier too, though I had never been in a fight before. I was smaller, and I was agile in my movements. I didn't waste my breath on crude words, I didn't waste my snarl on someone I didn't know.
It was around 1 pm, at the time, when he threw his body weight towards me, hidden behind a fist that edged closer to my face. His knuckles had hit my jaw with such force blood pooled into my mouth, teeth aching at the bruised nerves.
'well, take it from me.
what else could you do?′
He screamed something at me, something about my brother, something about my smile. Something about the dead staying dead and my body being too weak to accept it.
