Malediction: the love and life of Astoria Malfoy

Chapter Six

I expected fear and unease to fill the Great Hall that night, hollowing it out, thickening an anxious silence. I was wrong. There was a warmth, a unity. It was as if we were all holding each other up, bound together by an invisible string, tying us all together in unspoken, but immensely felt ways.

    McGonagall, our new headmistress, made a touching speech before the feast, something lingering in her words, perhaps just relief, a silent promise to protect us with all she was. I believed that.

    I'm not sure what I ate, it wasn't much. I wasn't very hungry after all the Pepper Imps; at least that's what I told myself. I suspect the true cause of my loss of appetite was the absence of Daphne sitting beside me. Instead, about a foot of empty space, for Pansy still sat in her usual spot, maybe denying Daphne's death just as much as I was.

    I turned to see Pansy looking at me expectantly. "What?" I asked, unsure of what I'd missed.

    "I said, what are you staring at?" She asked, brows raised, studying me up and down.

    I sat silent for a moment. What was her problem? Why did she need to ask? "Nothing, I'm just. . . tired," I answered, looking away from her pug-face, exhaling.

    "Okay," she drawled with a slight laugh. I rolled my eyes conspicuously. I should have been more polite to her -- after all, that was probably the nicest thing she'd ever said to me. But I was far too drained and far too preoccupied to worry about how I reacted to Pansy's idiocy.

    I spotted Draco out of the corner of my eye. I was surprised to see him back at Hogwarts, repeating his seventh year like Pansy. He looked terrible, thin and sullen with vacant eyes. He was looking at me, and it seemed he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He kept silent, how unlike him. I was glad he kept his mouth shut though -- I really wasn't in the mood for his sarcasm and arrogance.

    As we walked down to the Slytherin common room, I tripped down the last step, gripping the wall for balance. Coordination was a blatantly lacking feature in my sickly body.

    "Jeez Greengrass, what's wrong with you today? I mean, sitting with that mudblood on the train? What was that even about?" The shriek of Pansy said.

    I clamped my eyes shut tight, trying to restrain myself.

    "Really, Pansy, are you seriously still calling people mudbloods?" I said, with a confidence I didn't know I had.

    She shrugged as if this was obvious. I snickered, balling my fists so tight my nails were digging into my skin.

    "Maybe it hasn't occurred to you, but people died because they were Muggle-born. Little kids, Pansy, children, were tortured in this school because of people like you, people like me calling perfectly innocent people mudbloods, okay? I know this concept is hard for you to grasp, but some of us lost people, family, friends, alright? So don't tell me there's something wrong with me," I said.

I hadn't realized how close I got to her face. I didn't realize how loud I was, or how many people were staring. I looked around and tried to shake it off, taking in a deep breath. I went to walk away, but her voice sounded again.

    "Whatever, freak," she muttered.

    I don't know what came over me, it was like I was possessed, watching my body from afar.

Her collar was balled up in my fist, my other hand wound up behind me. With a swift release, a hard, loud punch was planted in the center of her pug face.

She fell backwards, hard, and a unanimous gasp stretched across the room, a silence filling our eardrums.

I snapped back to my senses again and scanned the room. Shocked expressions etched each face. I looked at her, collapsed on the floor, clutching her nose.

"Oh my -- Oh my God -- are-are you alright?" I said, realizing what I had done.

"How DARE YOU!" Pansy screamed in a guttural screech.

My hands were locked in fists, my shoulders high and tense. I felt nauseous, like the entire fiasco had rebounded in my stomach. My body convulsed, my stomach lurching. I gripped my face and held down a gag.

Running from the room I burst into the nearest bathroom, not even caring it was the boy's toilet.

I threw up, a painful, violent excursion, my body chastising me for exerting it too much. Normally, I couldn't even walk for extended periods of time without my body demanding a break -- I hadn't the slightest clue where I mustered up enough energy to knock her down that hard.

I sat with my back pressed to the wall, catching my breath. The fast pattering of footsteps reached the door.

"Are you okay?" someone said.

I looked up. It was Draco Malfoy, his hand on the door frame looking at me with wide eyes. What did he want? An expression of, was that concern on his face?

"I'm fine," I said bluntly.

"Are you sure, you --" but I cut him off.

"I said I'm fine!" I yelled, meeting his eyes. I didn't mean to yell, but I did. He nodded, looking down. It seemed as though the words hurt him, like a dog being scolded. Had I actually hurt Draco Malfoy? Snarky, arrogant made of teflon Draco Malfoy? Guilt panged in me.

I stood up. "I-I'm okay," I said, calmly this time, my face softening. He nodded as well, not looking up. I sighed and pushed past, heading up to my dormitory.

The room was empty except for my stuff. The Carrrow sisters were MIA since the battle, and I wasn't sure what had happened to Alvina Vonshen.

I laid down in my clothes, not bothering to get changed. Too tired and worn to toss and turn, I stared up at the ceiling, watching the moonlight cast lazy shadows for hours on end, unwilling to sleep.

If I fell asleep, it meant I would have to face the wave of repercussions to be unleashed on me by Pansy tomorrow sooner, or at least it would feel sooner.

Had I really just done that? Did I really, finally, (literally) knock some sense into that foolish hag? Not that it would stick, not that any lesson was learned on her part, but still, it felt damn good. I smiled at the thought. Wow, I was more of a violent person than I'd once pegged myself.

Just as I was about to slip into sleep, the thought of Draco wandered into my mind. It wasn't an unwelcomed thought, just an unresolved one. I was sure he was there to tell me off about hitting his girl toy, but he actually seemed worried.

No way. That had to have been in my head.