Malediction: the love and life of Astoria Malfoy

Chapter Nineteen

I was never one for books. I only read what I had to, the textbooks and spell books for class, but other than those, I never occupied myself with stories. But after spending the first two weeks of summer alone, I decided it was worth a try. It took me ages just to get through the first chapter, unable to focus on the words, my mind going every which way except the pages in front of me. But once I got through the initial shock of actually reading for enjoyment, I got into a sort of rhythm. It was pleasant, being able to live through someone else's eyes, their life, even just for a little while.

One late August day, my mom walked in my room, leaning up against the door frame. She wanted to say something, but she wanted me to ask her what she wanted to say before she got on with it.

" 'In that moment, there was no time, no space, no war, no movement. No disturbances, vibrations, or ripples in the entirety of this vast universe. In that moment, the only present life was our eyes, and the love that passed between them freely, no air nor gravity hindering the connection' Isn't that wonderful?" I asked, setting the book down in my lap.

"Lovely," she said, untouched, as she made her way farther into my room, sitting herself at the end of my bed. She took in a dramatic breath, settling her eyes on me, her chocolate hair swept into a sort of side-bun, different strands coiled around themselves, making intricate waves and curls.

"Astoria, you've been cooped up in this room for two months now. Honestly, I'm starting to worry," she said in a calm, silky voice. I shrugged.

"I've been writing to Holly." I glanced over to my desk, where a stack of her letters sat.

"I suppose that's something," she said, sighing, looking at the letters lazily. "Anyhow, that's not why I came in here," she said, brushing off the last subject and standing up. "Get ready, we're going into Diagon Alley today for your school supplies."

A new brightess filled me up. I was getting my supplies. I was going back to school. Something I was usually miserable about but now posed as an exciting adventure (I know, how sad).

She smiled, and left the room without saying another word.

* * *

I grasped my school list, already bearing checkmarks next to each item from our trip to Diagon Alley. I was rechecking my trunk, making sure nothing was left behind. It was early in the morning, (probably too early to already be dressed and ready to go) but warm sunlight tumbled through the curtains, illuminating dust motes suspended in the air in wide slats of light.

I snapped the latches on my trunk close, after checking my list at least four times. I did a mental scan of the room, thinking of any and all possible items I was forgetting. "Oh," I whispered, almost neglecting to grab my wand. I seized it off my nightstand, my eyes flickering down to the drawer.

I stood still for a moment, staring at the silver nob. A mini war was waged in my mind. My weaker side won. Reluctantly, I ripped the drawer open, the familiar glint of metal meeting the sunlight, taunting me. I snatched it up, closing it in my palm, and shoved it in my pocket without looking back down at it.

* * *

The Slytherin table was bare, and the sorting ceremony hardly helped to fill it up. There was a rumor going around that all first-years who weren't muggleborn were pleading not to be in Slytherin after the war. I doubted it was a rumor; more like solid fact.

I sat alone in a stretch of open table (afterall, so many seats were available, there was no need to annoy the now fourth-years I'd sat by last year), munching on the feast -- the last first day feast I would attend.