Malediction: the love and life of Astoria Malfoy

Chapter Thirty Six

Over the next year, I became increasingly apprehensive over the fact that the rumors of Scorpius were not going away anytime soon, and not even dying down a bit. He would be going to Hogwarts soon, and the cloud of suspicion and rumor still hung thickly around him. A school full of judgemental and vial teenagers was not my idea of a great setting for the situation.

And yet, this didn't even seem to phase Scorpius. He knew all about the rumors -- in full -- now. But he wasn't consumed with nerves at the thought of how others may stare or comment; he wasn't full of dread, or even a trace of it. He was too busy being humorously ecstatic. He was always the first to sift through the post in the morning, his face falling when there was nothing addressed to him.

Then, one morning towards the end of July, while shuffling through the post, his jaw fell open, and from it, a series of cheers and squeals.

"It came?!" I asked. He nodded, already peeling the wax seal, gingerly yet hastily, and seized the papers inside. His eyes scanned the page, his smile stretching ear to ear. He was frantically whispering, "OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod," under his breath.

When he had read the two enclosed slips, I peered over the supply list, and said, "So, are you guys ready to go to Diagon Alley?"

The look on Scorpius's face was akin to that of someone who had just won one thousand galleons. "YES, let me just get dressed!" By the last word he was already out of the room, running up the stairs.

After a moment, Draco turned to me, an uneasy look on his face, and said, "Astoria, are you sure it's such a good idea for you to go? You've been. . . It's been bad recently. . ." he asked, his voice low.

"I'm not missing this," I said, a definite firmness in my voice, in my fixed gaze.

He looked unconvinced, biting the inside of his cheek. I sighed, softening slightly, and said with as much reassurance I could muster, "I'll be fine. Don't worry." I wasn't missing this. No way.

However, I couldn't argue with the mention of my recent state. With each passing hour, it was as if I'd become more delicate, more fragile. My heart beats were erratic and fluttering when I simply walked up the stairs.

How could I be so weak? I was embarrassed with each volatile heartbeat, each shaking breath. I had no reason to be, of course, I knew. For, Draco and Scorpius were nothing but concerned and supportive. But it wasn't them I was ashamed in front of, no, it was my own judgement. I was appalled by my lack of strength, my weakness.

How could I allow myself to be this way? I had too much to live for to be so very frail. So very decayed.

I would not let myself miss this. I just couldn't.

A few minutes later, Scorpius reappeared in the room, out of breath from running, and adorned with an enormous smile.

To the back of The Leaky Cauldron, and watching the bricks twist and retreat, revealing Diagon Alley, was a pleasant wave of nostalgia. It'd been too long since I was last there.

We made our way, squeezing into the vacant corners of the bustling street, checking off store after store on the list. Scorpius spent an exorbitant amount of time gaping around at the shelves of Flourish and Blotts, and was literally pulled out by Draco.

"Okay. . ." I said, glazing over the list one more time, "Now all you need is a wand."

Walking over to Ollivander's, Draco opened the door, Scorpius wandering in, and shut it behind him. Just before the door closed, Scorpius turned, about to protest, but from his lack of exiting the store, I assumed Ollivander appeared before he could ask why we hadn't followed him in.