lukewarm (krii7y)

ophelia

"oh Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love"

- Ophelia, the Lumineers
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Sorry about the rly late chapter mental health hasn't been that good lately but the next one is probably the last :)

hope you've enjoyed so far

This one was a bit emotional
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John's heart was on the verge of exploding, but he told himself mentally to keep calm. At least, he appeared to be on the outside. He actually sat back in the passenger seat, watching the view and putting his hands together as he reached over to turn up the radio, despite being in a vehicle going well over seventy miles an hour. They were zooming past everything and anything at such a speed that the whole world seemed slow. Maybe that was when John realised oddly enough, they very very similar. Too similar.

When Eric would shout at him, would try to talk sense into him and scream "who's looking after you?" he suddenly felt his pain. It was the obligation he felt to look after him and his kindness above all, but something finally clicked for him.

"This can all end when you start telling me the truth," John offered, his voice quiet.

Of course, he wasn't expecting a reply straight away. He combed back his long hair back with his fingers, thinking about when he would go for a trim soon. Maybe they'd die in a car crash before he even got the chance. And to be honest, he probably would be okay with that.

"You wouldn't believe me. The cops probably won't either. I've been lucky the last couple of times," Jaren answered, trying to deflect the topic.

John just shrugged. He was very used to Jaren's behaviour, in the time that they'd known each other. It'd been a couple of months, it may have not been that much of a relationship to an outsider, but it meant the world to him. The American's fingers gravitated towards the door handle, his eyes focusing on the child lock.

"John, don't even think about it, I swear to God," Jaren warned him.

The last time he checked, Jaren didn't have eyes on the back of his head, but it was a fair observation.

"Is that why you're driving at ninety? Giving me a chance to escape is out the question?" John figured, he knew he was antagonising him.

To his surprise, the Canadian's grip on the steering wheel wasn't as harsh, and he relaxed his shoulders a little. That was definitely a yes then, John thought. The older man sighed, wondering how they'd gotten to where they were now.

"The knife isn't mine. The last and only time I had one was in a protest recently, I slashed some tires."

"And why did you do that?"

"My friend Ezra has a screw loose. He takes things too far. We've not been seeing eye to eye lately. I think it's his way of getting me back."

John blinked, unable to believe what he was hearing. Perhaps Jaren's involvement in protests was more complicated than he originally thought. Maybe he shouldn't have been attracted to chaotic good. Maybe the thought of it scared him. Maybe Eric had been right - or he was just wrong. But at the end of the day, he said "forgive him". He had a lot of thoughts buzzing around his head, right until the moment Jaren turned off the motorway and parked up in some trashy car park.

John reached for the car door, thinking Jaren was going to let this craziness end. His boyfriend was staring at him dead seriously, so his heart sunk a little. Calmly, the Canadian looked over his shoulder then back at the man sitting next to him.