My Purgatory Hell

Chapter 22

"A mighty pain to love it is,

And 't is a pain that pain to miss; But of all pains, the greatest painIt is to love, but love in vain." 

― Abraham Cowley

Somehow, I knew Winnie's response before I even visited his dream--my death wasn't going to alter his feelings. Maybe it was the confirmation my conscious mind required to drop this childhood obsession. The feeling still burned a hole in my chest, which wasn't as bad as I'd figured, but the hope I've allowed myself to feel since my death added to the pain.

I knew it wasn't ideal to sulk, especially when I wanted to check on David Green. He was now my priority. I had pushed Corwin to the back of my mind and prayed he would stay there.

Sullen, I left Corwin's place and materialized Mr. Green's place before my eyes.

A knock sounded at the door. I watched as Mr. Green rolled out of bed, wearing the same dirty clothes as he did yesterday. He shuffled to the door, rubbing his eyes on his way, and checked the peep hole. Frowning, he opened the door with some hesitation.

His daughter stood before him in a sundress and a smile on her face. When she spotted the condition of her father, she gave him a look of disapproval. "Dad, what's going on?" she questioned. I could feel the guilt radiating off of David Green. He didn't want to admit to his daughter what was going on. That he felt the heavy responsibility of my death. That he was drinking away his pain. It appeared that she didn't need any of these excuses. "Please let me in," she asked of her father.

Mr. Green couldn't exactly deny his daughter her request. He stepped aside, but said, "Elizabeth."

I could feel the disappointment radiating off of Elizabeth as she took in her surroundings. Of David's current choice of living. David could probably sense this too, because he twiddled his thumbs as he waited for Elizabeth to say something. His eyes were wary on his daughter.

"Dad," Elizabeth said in a saddened and disapproving tone. She started picking up the littered beer cans around his living room.

David Green shook his head. "I know, I know. I'm a mess," he admitted in a dejected voice. He looked grudgingly at the beer cans, as if they had neon arrows pointing his daughter to his failure. Crossing his arms, he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Please take a shower," Elizabeth begged her dad. "I'll clean up here, and then I'm going to take you out for food, okay?" She seemed to take on a mothering role with her dad, and he seemed to comply without complaint or hesitation. He went to his room and grabbed a semi-fresh clean pair of clothes. His bedroom was littered with beer cans as well and piles of dirty clothes were stacked throughout the carpeted floor.

Mr. Green went to the bathroom and closed the door. He turned on the water. I watched as Elizabeth hustled around the house with a garbage bag she must have retrieved from the cabinet. By the time Mr. Green was out of the shower and dressed in a fresher pair of clothes, Elizabeth had rounded up enough beer cans to fill the garbage bag full.

"Dad, this isn't healthy," Elizabeth chided her father.

David nodded in agreement. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I know, honey, I know. I just...." Mr. Green seemed at a loss of words to explain his recent downhill choices. He ran a hand through his hair.

Elizabeth set the garbage bag down and gave her father a tight hug. "I know, Dad. It's okay." She seemed to hear what her father was trying to say without actually voicing it himself. "Let's go, get food okay?" She eyed the sink, which was filled with dirty dishes, and led her dad out of the door. The two of them went to a nearby family restaurant. Elizabeth ordered a burger and some fries. Mr. Green did the same, but his face showed he wasn't likely to eat the food brought out to him. Elizabeth tried to get her father to talk and to open up, but soon gave up. They eventually sat comfortably in silence. Mr. Green avoided his daughter's gaze, and she didn't push him to do so.