My Purgatory Hell

Chapter 25

"Some people say beware of enemies. Some say beware of friends and some say beware of frenemies, but the most dangerous people are those that will hurt you and still play the victim."
― Uzoma Nnadi

That night, I joined Hayley in her bedroom, like I had promised Veronica. I looked around at the familiar, yet strange, walls. It has been a while since I last joined Hayley in here, and I didn't think I'd be back here again after catching her with Corwin or seeing her throw herself at him. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I needed to do this to stop Veronica from nagging at me. I wasn't sure how this situation would progress, but I hope I gained something out of this, and if I find peace at this point, then so be it.

Briefly, my promise to visit Austin crossed my mind, but I had to shove it down. I would have to visit him later--no distractions right now. Per Veronica's instruction, I had to confront the one person who hurt me. Who cut me deeper than I could have imagined. Austin wasn't that person--my ex-bestfriend was.

Hayley was sleeping peacefully under her bed spread, which she must have changed her covers since I last visited. Seeing her in that state of peace, I felt a jealous pang. I wish I could shut off my thoughts and emotions like Hayley. Her wall décor also has changed a little bit. Pictures were changed, and the posters of her idols were removed. I walked over to where her dresser stood, which had one of those tall mirrors and in each corner there were a handful of pictures. I could see in the bottom right corner of the mirror that Hayley still had a picture of the two of us smiling. We looked so young and naïve then. Well, we still were, but then there was no bad blood between us. Now there was only deceit. I looked back at her peaceful figure. How could she do this to me? She was my best friend! To lie to them and mess with their crush like that? It was like the knife was searing into my heart all over again. Don't even get me started on still wishing for our relationship to stay the same after her betrayal and her lies.

Breathe. Just breathe, I reminded myself. Taking a few deep breaths, I walked closer to the bed where Hayley lay. "I really hope this works" I muttered to myself. I made my way into her dream just as I did with Austin. The sensation was just as similar.

Facing the mirror in her bedroom, Hayley's back was facing me. When she peered over her shoulder in her cluttered reflection, she caught sight of me. Spinning around, she held her hand over her chest. "Maribell? Is that you?" Hayley probed as she met my eyes. She didn't seem to believe it was me standing before her.

I nodded in response to her question. "It is me," I informed her in confirmation.

Hayley looked conflicted with herself. She looked like she wanted to run up and hug me, cry her eyes out, or yell. It was an odd combination, and I watched her with a held breath. Finally, she just sank her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong. It just sort of happened."

I shook my head. "You could have stopped it," I pointed out. The look that spread on her face told me she agreed with me.

Sighing, she spoke up, "I know." She peered up at me under her eye lashes. In that moment, she looked so innocent. It seemed to break the walls I've built up over the last number of days as I recalled what she did. Now, I didn't seem to have the heart to hate on her.

"Why'd you do it?" I questioned her after a moment or two of silence.

Her shoulders lifted at my question, but paused before responding. She thought long and hard before she answered my question. "I honestly don't know. I was caught up in the moment. I thought I had feelings for him, but maybe they were residual feelings from you talking about him in a positive way. It happened so fast, and most of this was hormone and alcohol driven. If I could take it back to have you back, I would. Trust me, I would." Sighing and closing her eyes, she seemed to be defeated. Tears started to trickle down her face, and she rubbed them away. I was not expecting this reaction. The thought of seeing her like this hurt me as well, but I had to stay strong. As much as she was my friend, I couldn't let her walk all over me. "I'm so sorry, Maribell."